Eric did end up taking Nora to see his brother and wife and kids. I had a few last-moment ideas to go along, as I certainly do miss them and wish I was closer to my sister-in-law. But… Eric disclosed last-minute he was picking up his mother on the way, therefore the mere idea of me going stopped immediately upon hearing that tidbit of data. I’m actually quite annoyed she was going, and I don’t expect many of you to understand… I think you truly have to be in someones shoes and know the entire story, which I’m sure I haven’t shared on here, not every piece of information I mean. In a nutshell though, Eric enables his mother’s poor behavior. To a certain extent he admits this. It’s an issue for us, needless to say. I worry about future holidays, birthdays, really anything that traditionally involves family. I’m still in the mindset of refusing to spend time (life is short) with people, anyone, including family, who has treated me like shit and not apologized. (In my opinion, yelling at me, swearing, especially in front of my children, throwing furniture, kicking presents, kicking me out of their home, etc., constitutes shit.) My concern though is, Eric isn’t willing to demand his mother accept consequences for her behavior. So that leaves us in a predicament. I miss out on anything related to his family, if his mother is present. My girls end up spending some holidays away from me. I’m not okay with really either of those options. I’ve already contacted Eric’s mom once to try to resolve the issue, but I was not given a response. Do I try again? And what do I say? I really wanna say, listen here bitch, buck up, get yourself some antipsychotic medication, accept responsiblity for your actions, find a therapist, apologize, etc. But I doubt that would go over well. Even thinking about all this makes my blood boil.
In other news, I think my new medication Viibryd is messing with my blood sugar. I feel shaky often, like I need to eat, even when I’ve just eaten. And I can’t seem to find a theme regarding what I’ve eaten and now I feel. This shakiness happens with balanced meals, high-carb meals, lots of protein meals, etc. I still have my blood sugar testing stuff from my pregnancy with Nadia and I tested several times yesterday and today. Yesterday, even two hours after a high-carb meal my blood sugar was 95. I’d expect it to be higher… I’m not so sure I’m willing to deal with blood sugar issues, or really any major side-effects, when I know there are other options out there. I know all depression medications have side effects, but not all make my feel crappy often like this one regardless of whether I’ve eaten or not. I’m going to call my doctor tomorrow morning and see if he has another idea of what to try.
Nadia is napping right now, and I’m trying to decide how to spend the remainder of the day. There are a few items at Target I
need want, but those could certainly wait to be purchased later in the week. I think I’m just looking for an excuse to get out of the house. I hear kids playing outside, so I assume the weather is nice, but not sure how much I can do with a nineteen month-old. There are lots of things I could be doing in the house, like organizing the guest bedroom, cleaning out the storage room, clearing off the kitchen table, etc., but none of that sounds especially fun. I completed several more sections of my business plan earlier this week but now I’m at a bit of a stand-still. I’m to the point where I need to start contacting outside sources, and paying money, and I’m scared. I’m still not convinced this idea will fly, although I wouldn’t expect myself to know at this point. But I’m cheap in some ways and don’t want to start wasting money. Oh, and I hate failing, if you haven’t learned that about me yet! I have a name for the company in mind but I see it’s already being used by a small home-based business is another state, but from my research she has not trademarked the name and such, so need to contact a lawyer, or pick a new name. Well, either way I need a lawyer. I also need to start more seriously researching possibly locations… but that feels a bit overwhelming. I think what I really need is a partner to take on some of this work, but no one I know has any amount of cash they are willing to invest. I could start reaching out further to friends or friends and such, but that would mean I need to have a more complete business plan. And it’s not that I really need the cash, its more the help and ideas I’m looking for…
Nadia is awake….