New Nanny

Ugh, I seriously want to post a new ad and start over with my search for a new sitter. And I know, today was the new girl’s first day, maybe I shouldn’t judge after the first day…

Eric and I both happen to be home today. Eric is off this week, and I didn’t plan anything on purpose as I wanted to be able to go over everything with the new sitter today. So yes, it was probably a bit odd for her, but some days I will be here. Today I cleaned, ran an errand, finished organizing Nadia’s room a little, and made dinner while she was here. Eric worked most of the day in the basement on patient notes.

I guess my biggest complaint is that she took no initiative with the girls. Maybe it was because we were home, but other sitters have stepped up. Like while I was making dinner and Nadia was screaming, I wanted to yell, go comfort her! Instead I was trying to carry around Nadia while cooking while the sitter just stared at me.

The TV was on to Curious George this morning when she arrived, and I explained that we do let Nora watch some TV. Later in the day the sitter turned the channel to MTV and basically just sat on the floor and watched. She would interact with Nora if Nora came up to her, but otherwise Nora was roaming the house while Eric and I watched her.

She didn’t change a single diaper the entire day. Again, maybe she thought that since we were home we would do it. But what the heck was I paying her for then??

When it was getting close to the time I told her we normally feed Nora lunch she was making no efforts toward the kitchen. It was awkward. So I ordered pizzas. Again, I guess if she was here alone she would have fed Nora and Nadia. Right?

I don’t know, the entire day was just really strange. I didn’t feel comfortable with her here at all. She’s very nice, but very quiet, and maybe she did feel strange, it being her first day with both of us here. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on her. I don’t know. Maybe I should have spelled out her duties. I thought some of that stuff was assumed. I’m so confused. And not at all looking forward to Wednesday. Which OMG is Nadia’s 1st birthday. Which reminds me, I haven’t purchased a single gift for her. I feel like a bad mommy… We have no plans that day other than her speech therapy appointment. Talk about a lame 1st birthday. I guess I need to get onto planning her party.


You know how you feel after a wedding, like you think of all the planning and then how quickly the day went and all the sudden it’s over? I feel that way about the baptism…

Overall, it was a very good day! The girls looked adorable in their dresses, they behaved, for the most part, during the mass, they were fairly cooperative during the actual baptisms, which were after the mass, and everyone seemed to enjoy lunch!

Our guests were mostly Eric’s side of the family, including his mother. My mom and step-dad were present, as well as my sister and her husband who were the Godparents, and their two children. My dad did not come, as expected, even though I can’t think of one single good reason why he wasn’t there. I think we had about 25 people total which was a good size group for lunch. We sat at one long table overlooking the golf course at the country club which was very pretty. Eric’s mom sat at the opposite end of the table as me, she didn’t say one word to me the entire day. And while I wasn’t purposely avoiding her, I was very busy most of the day with the girls and I’ll admit, I didn’t make an effort to say hello to her. I’m not sure at what point we will actually speak…

I did take a lot of pictures, below are a few of my favorites from the day 🙂


Another boring Friday…

Either I’ve hit a new low, or I came across a great idea. I’m not sure which it is, but this morning the girls and I ventured to my favorite place, Target, with a Starbucks. I put them both in my double stroller (best purchase ever, btw) and away we went. My plan was for Nadia to nap, which she eventually did, and Nora to wear herself out. We ran into Target first for Starbucks, I got my usual, a venti iced white chocolate mocha, no whip, and I ordered the strawberries and creme frapp for Nora. Yes, my drink ruined my diet, and Nora refused to drink hers, so I drank both. Major fail. Oh well, it’s Friday! With drinks in hand we wandered through Michaels. I’m not sure what it is about that place that both overwhelms me and sparks my creativity… No purchases there today, but I still like looking.

On to Target we went with no real purpose there either other than to get out of the house. Yes, this is what my life has become. Other SAHM feel this way too, right?? Our big purchase of the day was a new doctor’s kit for Nora. She wore out an old one we bought her over a year ago, so I figured it was time to replace it. Here are a few pictures of her at Target and at home with her new toy. And yes, she was 29 months on the 16th of August.


My plan of wearing out the girls worked I guess, as both are sleeping right now. Yes, both at the same time!!!

In the other news, our realtor called this morning to say the sellers of the house in Hudson are now willing to accept our offer. Click here to read about that if you don’t remember… We made that offer at the very beginning of July, so I basically told our realtor, too little, too late. The more I think about it, the more I don’t want to live here anyway, so probably worked out for the best. The next weekend Eric has off I think we need to go look at some houses in Cedar Rapids and try to decide if moving back there is really something that could work for us.

The baptism is Sunday. God help me. Eric’s mom is coming. I think we have 20-25 people total joining us for the celebration, and thank goodness we are eating out, as I’m in no mood to clean the house or prepare food. I’ll update after Sunday with pictures and hopefully only good stories from the day. Pray for me.

New nanny starts Monday. Lots of mixed feelings. I interviewed two girls, both are very qualified, and both acted very well with the girls. Remember how I couldn’t connect with the last girl we had? Well, that’s my fear with this new girl too. She’s very sweet, and maybe was a little quiet when she was here, but that hopefully is just because she is unfamiliar with us. I guess I’ll know more next week when she starts. She’s just part-time, but my plan is to really figure out the next step for me, whether I’ll need time to move, or perhaps checking back into opening an upscale daycare/preschool. Preferably in that order, as I’d rather not get stuck in Cedar Falls with a business I own.

The last thing I’ll mention today (I could probably write about different topics all day) is a third child… I know, deep topic, right? Something tells me I want a third, and not just because we have a frozen embryo. I mean, even if the embryo didn’t lead to a live birth, I’d still want to pursue other avenues. Having that third child feels so impossible though. I mean, going through another embryo transfer… probably another NICU stay. Or finding a gestational carrier… All the choices seem overwhelming. But Nadia is almost one, and I’d kind of like all my kids close in age, since I’m not getting any younger! Ugh, so much to think about! Definitely more on this topic to come.

Long time no write…

I’ve felt more busy than usual lately… thus haven’t made time to write.

First, last Tuesday Nadia was 50 weeks! I can’t believe her birthday is next week! Before her bath last night she weighed 18 lbs and 4 oz. Crazy! She’s gonna pass Nora soon! She’s wearing 9 and 12 month clothing, just started army crawling, claps, puts her arms up if you say ‘so big’, and says mama and dada. I should update on all her therapies, but I’ll have to do that another day.


I haven’t even started planning her birthday party yet, as I’ve been focusing on her and Nora’s baptism, which is this coming Sunday. After I finish writing this post I’m off to find a dress. Which might prove to be difficult since my city totally sucks for shopping.

Oh, and I’m determined to lose some weight and get in better shape. Notice the tracker at the top right of my home page! I woke up this morning and decided I was going to rejoin Kosama, as my current city has one. Well, had one. I checked their website for class times and see they closed on August 1st. Awesome. I hate this city! Eric and I did talk a bit more about moving back to Cedar Rapids, and we’re still in the considering stage. Eric is okay with it, or so he says. We just need to make the time to go look at houses I guess. Funny, since I just purchased more items to decorate Nadia’s room in our current home…

And before I go shop for a dress… a picture of me and Nora. I don’t often like pictures of myself, this one included, but I’m trying to take more of myself with the girls..


Not what I expected…

It’s August! And the start of Eric’s new schedule, a rotation of one week off and two weeks on. And it’s not at all what I expected.

Sunday he was on-call, since the fourth partner didn’t officially start until August 1st. So Sunday was a bit of a bust when it comes to vacation. A ringing call phone doesn’t really allow much vacationing. And per usual, Eric worked on patient notes Sunday night as soon as the girls went to bed.

Monday, still on-call, so similar. And Eric worked on patient notes during naps and again after the girls’ bed time. And… he met two of his three partners out for drinks and appetizers around 3pm. Apparently it was to celebrate the new guy starting. And I can’t completely complain, as it was at a bar/restaurant, and he took Nora. But still. Not family time. Oh, and while he was gone Nadia was difficult, as she was overly tired but refused to sleep. Her norm lately.

Today, Tuesday, finally not on call! But we did nothing fun. I didn’t even shower. Eric still had patient notes to catch up on, I did some laundry, ya know, boring house-necessarily stuff. Around 4pm Eric left to meet his partners for their weekly Tuesday evening ‘business’ dinner. I say ‘business’ because I’m sure they do talk about work, but…. I always tend to get the impression it’s more an excuse to get dinner and drinks together. Oh, and Eric wanted to go shooting with them this afternoon, but I bitched and thus he didn’t go. I hate bitching, but seriously!

Tomorrow, Wednesday, I have a dentist appointment in Iowa City (remember how I hated the dentist I saw here?) so Eric will have the girls the entire day. But… me going to the dentist is not exactly fun.

Then Thursday Eric actually has a case (a surgery) scheduled, and I’m not sure his plans for Friday, if he’s off or what.

So needless to say, I’m annoyed.

  • There was no true family time, as when Eric was home he was mainly working on patient notes. Yes, he did interact with the girls more than he would get to on a normal week of him working, but still. As soon as they are napping he sneaks away to our home office.
  • Eric found a way to sneak in fun this week, while I watched the girls. My time away while he watches the girls will be the dentist. Which is not fun in my opinion.

I don’t think Eric truly realizes how unhappy I am in Cedar Falls, even though I’ve told him countless times.

  • All my friends are moms with kids. Even if I have a sitter, and get away, it’s usually to either buy groceries or meet another mom, who probably has her kids along. It’s rarely to never fun time for me. Where the heck would I even go here for fun?
  • Eric’s friends are also his partners, guys he’s been close with for years. He got to bring his friends here, I didn’t. And… these guys are all single. They don’t have a wife or kids to get home to. Which sucks for me, as they always want to be out drinking and such. I don’t think it’s healthy for Eric or our relationship that these are his only friends here. I don’t have the group of wives to friend and having Eric home with me and the girls means he’s said no to going out with them.

The more I think about it, the more I think I need to move back closer to where we used to live. It would be hard, as Eric would have to live in Cedar Falls the week he’s on-call, and commute the other week, but he’d have an entire week off, with us, away from his partners. But, I would be alone with the girls more. But I’d be closer to friends and family too. Ugh, I don’t know. Someone tell me what to do!!



Another Friday

Lots of random updates…

  • Nora had her second feeding therapy session today. The three foods we took she won’t eat were scrambled eggs, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and strawberries. The therapist got her to lick the eggs, take a bite of strawberry and spit it out, and take a torn off piece of the sandwich, put it between her teeth, and drop it out onto the table. Apparently that was good. It doesn’t feel good to me, it doesn’t feel like progress. I don’t see how we will ever graduate from this program. When Nora will eat anything I put in front of her? When we aren’t still giving her bottles of Pediasure? Feels overwhelming to me. I think part of the problem might be that Eric is rarely to never home to share a meal with us. Even if he is home from work early, his idea of early is 7pm. I’ve certainly fed the girls dinner before 7pm, as that’s about Nora’s bedtime. The therapist keeps telling me that the foods I bring to work on in therapy should be foods that would make our home life meals easier, things I make a lot that I really want her to eat. Well, I don’t really have a lot of those types of things. Lately I make her the things I know she will eat, and I eat whatever, as Nadia has baby food. Any suggestions as to things your kids eat that are somewhat healthy that perhaps I could try with Nora? Sometimes I wonder if I’m causing her picky eating behavior by offering her the same things over and over.
  • Nadia seems to be babbling a bit more, kind of trying to spit and make sounds with her tongue. Not sure it’s due to anything I’ve done to help her though. I tried to teach her ‘more’ in sign language, but now she’s just clapping all the time. Our next speech therapy session is Monday, I’m anxious to see how that goes.
  • As for Nadia’s physical therapy, she’s still not crawling, but definitely moving around more, turning circles during tummy time and such, and rolling more. Slowly but surely perhaps.
  • I inquired a little bit through Early Access Iowa in regards to someone coming to our home to help with therapy. Apparently we make too much money, and neither of my girls have documented disabilities, therefore they don’t qualify. I wasn’t really looking for state offered help, but that’s all I’m finding so far. So, my next thought is maybe putting an ad on and just seeing who responds, be it students or professionals with an interest in coming to my home.
  • Speaking of state offered help, Nadia’s Medicaid review is due in a few days. I doubt we qualify, as now that she’s a year old it’s based on income rather than her status as a premature infant who has spent 30+ days in the NICU. I want to just throw the form away and allow her Medicaid to lapse, but our insurance is forcing me to reapply, which means gathering tons of data regarding our assets, liabilities, income, etc.
  • Baptism is in the works. I guess. Still not excited about the day, which is sad for me. I assume Liz will be in attendance, as Eric isn’t giving me a choice on the matter, which hurts. The baptism will be at our Catholic Church, and then we’re hosting a luncheon at the country club here. Strangely enough, Eric’s family is not at all religious, but yet we’re inviting all of his aunts, uncles, and cousins. Fewer on my side are being invited. Who knows who will actually come though. Maybe Liz will decide she doesn’t want to drive herself here. God I pray. I still need to order a cake, and figure out what all of us are wearing. Where does one get baptism dresses? I assumed the girls would be in matching white dresses since Nadia is now in 12 months and Nora can still fit into some 24 month size clothing. What else am I forgetting to plan? The baptism prep class is the evening of August 2nd, maybe that will help me know what else I need to do to prepare.
  • Next I need to start working on plans for Nadia’s first birthday party. AHHH.
  • Today is the last day with our current nanny. Feels odd to just be like, okay, see ya later. I mean, I will call her if we need a sitter on a random evening or something. I feel like I should have gotten her a gift, but what? And it’s kind of late now! I scheduled an interview with a prospective nanny tomorrow morning.
  • I’m so tired I could fall asleep writing this. Nadia wakes up three or more times a night. Sometimes to eat, sometimes just because she has a burp or her binkie fell out. Eric claims he doesn’t hear the girls. Don’t even get me started on this. Remind me to post on this topic separately. Well, him getting up with the girls, and him going out after work, when he already works like 15+ hours a day.
  • If you’re looking for a good book to read, my book club just finished “The Weathering of Sea Glass.” Really good story, but I will say, the author really, really needs a new editor. Lots of errors throughout the book. Oh, and it’s part of the Amazon Kindle Unlimited Reading, if you’re familiar with that program, so another bonus.
  • I mentioned Eric’s new schedule right? How he will have every third week off starting in August. Well, next week is August, and he’s supposed to have the first week off. So far I know he scheduled a case on Thursday. So we’ll see how this all goes…