I’m not feeling so great emotionally right now… Its day 7 and I feel as though this waiting is consuming me. My instructions were to remain on 10 units of Lupron daily until I get my period, and then to go in for blood work (to check hormone levels) and an ultrasound (to recheck the cyst they found during my last ultrasound). My instruction sheet says if I don’t have a period by February 13th, which is Thursday, I am to call my doctor. I can only assume that’s bad, or rather not as they expect, which worries me. I had some very light spotting this morning, but nothing close to a period. I’m worried my body isn’t responding as they had hoped…
I’m extremely anxious to add in the next medication, Follistim, the first of two follicle stimulating medications, as I think the increase in hormone levels will alleviate some of the horrible headaches I’m still experiencing. I was told I could take Tylenol, but we all know that does nothing!
I’ve had a range of physical side effects this past week, but today was the first day I noticed changes in my mood. Perhaps just a sign I will be getting my period soon! Funny, this is the first month in a LONG time I actually want it to arrive! Eric is still in Mason City, and quite busy there as he’s on call 24/7, but we find time to text and occasional FaceTime. He’s been somehow different lately, not sure I can put my finger on it, but somehow more inquisitive of how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. I’m beginning to wonder if someone gave him a manual on how to keep his wife happy! It’s really nice to know he’s thinking of me though, even if we can’t be together right now. This weekend will be the first time I’ve seen him in several weeks.
A week ago I told myself I was going to take this day by day and not look ahead too far, as I didn’t want to feel overwhelmed by the process. And I’m trying to, but it’s so hard. I was trying to guess when our retrieval might be, as I really want Eric present, but his schedule is so unknown. I know he will be there, but there is this huge part of me that is still scared. There have been times in the past he promised to be with me and couldn’t due to work obligations… I’m just really worried. I can’t do this alone.
Only 8pm and I plan to be in bed shortly. I skipped working out this morning to get a little bit more sleep, but all the more reason why I feel like I should go tomorrow morning. The overwhelming lack of energy and the horrible headaches seem never-ending, but again, I know it could be a lot worse, and there is an end in sight. I keep reminding myself this will all be worth it!