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Shrink Visit

Do you ever have those days when you think, wow, I’ve really got this under control?

I had my appointment with the psychologist today, the one specifically recommended by the IVF Clinic.  Let’s call her Stacey.  First let me say, Stacey was extremely nice.  And I assume competent, as PhD was printed on her name-badge.  Well wait, do those three letters really mean competent?  For the time being, let’s assume they do…

So yes, Stacey was nice, but honestly, I have no clue what I was supposed to get out of the visit.  I mean, sure, it got me away from my desk for an hour, so perhaps some stress relief there, but I could have sat in a coffee shop for an hour, which would have been a hell of a lot less expensive.

Stacey asked me to take a seat as she lead me into her office, which was dimly lit.  There were two chairs facing one another, and a third, rolling office chair, at a desk.  An array of infertility books lined a shelf and I couldn’t help but the notice the empty feeling of the room.  It appeared to be her personal office, name on the door, pop can on an end table between the two chairs, but yet not a single personal item.  No pictures… nothing.  Odd I thought.  She could have at least made me feel like she was a little less of a stranger before I’m required to share my inter-most feelings…

Stacey opened the conversation by explaining she can’t prescribe medications.  Huh, did I look like I was there for drugs?  I mean, I know I was having a bad hair day, but…  Does she have any idea how massive my drug buffet is at home, AKA, my dining room table??  I did not want drugs, I actually hoped to learn how to deal with stress naturally.  So we proceed, her asking me a variety of questions, about my upbringing, if my family lives close, if I make time to see friends often, what hobbies I enjoy, etc.  She asked how busy I am, and I listed the thousand things I feel are currently on my plate, I mean platter.  I explained I’m up early to workout each day and thus by 7PM each night I’m ready for bed; there is simply never enough time for sleep.  I told her I started a blog as a way to share information, but also to hopefully allow me to work through some of my feelings in my own.

At 1:55PM Stacey began to shift in her seat and I could tell she as trying to wrap up our conversation, even though we were clearly still in the middle of discussion.  She pulled several sheets of paper from a notebook, in which she had been scribbling since I sat down.  The sheets she handed me listed websites which I may find helpful and an article by apparently someone smart who knows how to handle stress.  Stacey gave me her card and told me to call or email if I wanted to set up another appointment.

As we stood up and she ushered me toward the door she said, “I really think you have a good handle on your stress, keep up the efforts.”

What the hell did that mean?  A good handle on my stress?  Did I have any other choice?  Could I really curl up into a ball and hibernate until I’m pregnant, avoiding any and all signs of other pregnant people??  Of course I would love to do that, to quit my job and focus on cooking healthy meals each day, working out, pampering my body with massages…  But who the hell has time for that?  I have bills, and responsibilities, and commitments…

As I walked back through the hospital to my office I thought, maybe I really do have a handle on this stress stuff.  And even if I don’t, telling my life story to Stacey is certainly not going to help…

So I’m focusing on the good today.  I found red raspberry leaf tea and capsules at the coop in Coralville, so down the hatch three of these pills are going!  And I’m on vacation from work tomorrow!!!  Eric and I are traveling to a ‘secret for now’ destination to meet with I’m not even sure who with a urology practice.  I wish I could tell you where, and I wish I didn’t have to go, but for the time being, neither of those scenarios can happen.  So I will go and play the good wife and hope to God wine is available with dinner!

5 thoughts on “Shrink Visit

  1. I’m sorry to hear the session was a bit of a waste of your time, but I’m glad you have the day off tomorrow. Three day weekends are always nice.

    1. Yes, I’m looking forward to the weekend, as at least I’ll get to see Eric!

  2. Sorry to hear it was a waste. I went to school for counseling and I remember being instructed to never having anything personal in the office (pictures, etc.) one reason was safety ( in case client is nuts) and also to not make clients sad..? I like pictures so u always had my wedding photo. I broke the rules :/

    1. I guess that makes sense. The room just felt so cold, although maybe it was that particular therapist…

      1. They are cold:) I couldn’t be a therapist which is why I retired at 28 🙂

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