If you happen to be looking for me on Facebook, you won’t find me. I deactivated my account earlier this afternoon. Not forever, just for now. I’ve done this before, but there comes a time when I miss the communication with those I haven’t seen in years, so eventually I break down and reactivate my account. I assume something similar will take place at a not so distant date in the future.
I had a few free minutes between meetings today at work, so I popped up my phone’s Facebook app. I saw a variety of postings, but 99% centered around children. A pregnancy announcement for a high school ‘friend’s’ 3rd child, updates on prenatal visits, pictures of daddies and their children (leftovers from Father’s Day), etc. You get the idea. Every single freaking post was something about someone’s kids. How cute their kid is, how much they’ve grown, how fast the first month of their life has gone… Blah blah blah. And I get it, if I had children I’d be doing the same thing. So please don’t think I resent you. I don’t. It really just comes down to the fact that I’m jealous and I have no clue how to deal with the sadness I feel every time I browse my Facebook feed.
In updating my new TTC timeline yesterday I realized that my story is now stuck in June 2014. I have no upcoming events, no current appointments planned, no real clue when we can start our next cycle. Or even when this darn miscarriage will end! They told me to call when my bleeding stops. Did they mean when every last drop is gone? What about a little spotting, does that count? I just want the darn ultrasound so I can at least say we are past that step and onto the next… Something, anything, I need a plan. Never never land of waiting is just simply too much for me.
And as long as I’m complaining, can I just say that it totally bothers me that Eric’s mother still buys him underwear. Every Christmas, every birthday, boxers are included in the gift bag. The man is 33 years old. Isn’t he old enough to buy his own darn underwear? And why does her buying them make me so freaking uncomfortable??