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WTF Appointment Scheduled!!

Another day, another…  How much do I make?  And how much did I spend at Java House today?  I often wonder if I’d have more money if I didn’t work.  Just a thought!

One new development in baby-making-land, for lack of a better term.  For the past month my mind has been racing with questions relating to our past IVF cycle.  I’ve heard many of you speak of your WTF appointment, but I’ve never had such, not with any of our failed IUIs either.  So I decided today I was going to call and request such an appointment.  Of course, I referred to it as a consult.

I dialed, got Ann, the lady who always checks me in and out, explained how I’d like to schedule a consult, explained I had questions and wanted to understand how and when we can move forward with our next attempts at creating a tiny mix of Eric and me.  Why I thought this was just something they would schedule, I don’t know, I mean, I am a current patient.  But no, Ann informed me a nurse would have to review my chart and give me a call back to discuss.  I was annoyed, but okay.

Later Jennifer, one of the nurses I really like, called back.  I had given the clinic my work number, so of course, others were probably close enough to hear, and thus I was hoping it would be a quick conversation, free of symptom review.  I mean, who wants to explain their bleeding pattern for coworkers to hear?

Jennifer reiterated that we still need to wait for my beta to register less than 3 before we can move ahead with anything, which I completely understand.  I guess there is a huge part of me though that expects it to be zero on Monday at my next lab visit, my reason for wanting to know and plan next steps now.  Jennifer said she actually believed as well that my beta will be zero on Monday, but I was still getting the impression she was pushing me off, as if she didn’t really want to schedule me my much needed WTF appointment. 

Jennifer went on to explain that if my results on Monday are zero, the team of specialists will discuss my case at their weekly team meeting on Tuesday to decide how we proceed.  I expressed my own concerns, letting Jennifer know that I understand the physicians need to discuss my case, but I want to discuss it too.  Then she asked if I’d gotten a period yet.  Um…  I said no, since I was at work, and it is true, I don’t believe I’ve gotten a period yet, but there is certainly more to the story, exactly why I want to talk to an actual doctor, in person!  I was not about to explain to Jennifer that while my bleeding had stopped way back when, when I called to make the first beta appointment, it started up maybe five days after that, and hasn’t stopped since.  But how does one code that for discussion at work???  And even if I had stopped bleeding for good back then, how would I have gotten another period already?  It’s only been 34 days since I took those awful pills.

Then, the best part of the conversation, or worst, depending on how you look at it…  Jennifer said as long as I get a period between July 11th and September 4th I can be included in the next uptime for IVF.  Um…  They told me I needed three normal periods!!!  To which she said, oh, well, we will have to discuss that I guess.

So, I’m confused, and a little pissy.  I’m trying to plan a life here, and grow a human, and they can’t even get their stories straight??  Now granted, I have complete faith in my team of specialists, but I’ll admit, sometimes the communication is a bit sucky.

So long story short, my WTF appointment is a week from tomorrow.  I have lots of questions in my head, but obviously need to get them all down on paper, since I’m only 50% sure Eric will be able to join me with such short notice.  Question to those of you who have been through a miscarriage and/or failed IVF cycle, what questions should I make sure to ask?

12 thoughts on “WTF Appointment Scheduled!!

  1. Are you doing another fresh or a FET cycle? Sorry I’m drawing a blank on memory here.
    My favourite wtf consult questions include:
    – why do you believe x happened? Are there any other theories? Any testing we can try to assess which theory is more likely to apply here?
    – what changes to the protocol might assist us in avoiding that next time? Why? How will that make a difference? Are there other options?
    – wtf do you mean nothing needs to be changed?
    – are there any more tests we should have done before our next cycle? Which ones and why? How long do results take if we do those tests? What will the results enable you to determine, do or decide that you can’t determine, decide or do now?
    – are you for real or did the clinic get a good deal at cyborgs R us?

    1. We have to do another fresh, start over from the very beginning, as we only got 6 eggs of which 4 fertilized, transferred 2 and then had none to freeze. So, back to square one. Your questions are great, I’m going to make notes of them. I think my main question though is, why only 6 eggs when they were telling me all along I have like 18 awesome looking follicles… Thanks for the help!

  2. I’m glad you pushed them to see you! Who better to discuss all this with than the person actually going through it?!

    1. Yes, I’m actually excited for the appointment, although terrified they are gonna wreck my dreams too… This process, I tell ya…

  3. I got mad just reading your story. I had similar issues with my clinic. Very unwilling to deviate from their “normal” to grant me the appointments I wanted. You’d think with such a highly sensitive thing, they’d be more willing to do as you asked.

    I don’t have any questions for you, but please be prepared to not really get any true answers. From my miscarriage experience, there usually isn’t much they can really tell you. It is rarely tangible and usually more like “hopefully next time” or “this was rare” or “we’re not sure”. Unfortunately these things are usually not black and white and it’s just a whole lot of gray.

    Good luck

    1. Thank you for the advice and words of wisdom. You’re right that I’m getting super excited for the appointment, and it’s so very possible I’ll still have to wait months from now to get back into a cycle. This process I tell ya, what a roller coaster!

  4. I’m glad you were able to schedule the appointment after all and totally hear and understand the frustration of getting mixed messages from the same team of doctors/nurses. I’ve had LOTS of questions for my doc after my miscarriages, but they weren’t after IVF. If you want me to share some, just let me know. Thinking of you!

    1. Thank you! I’ve gotten a lot of great suggestions for questions so far, but if you think of any I should absolutely ask, please let me know!

  5. Our first fresh transfer ended in a chemical pregnancy and our second transfer (frozen) ended in a bfn. After those, my RE scheduled me for the RPL panel explaining that because we’d had two IVF cycles fail it was considered recurrent pregnancy loss. The panel showed nothing wrong. The only question that I had at our second WTF appt is below, but I have to give a little back story:

    After the 5 failed IUIs but prior to our first IVF, our RE had quoted me a statistic that ‘studies show 90% of couples that undergo IVF will have success within three rounds’. At that time, 90% sounded just as good as 100% to me – it told me that my heart only had to endure 3 IVF transfers (at the most) in order to get my baby. I knew I could handle that because there was finally an end in sight (and more importantly, it was a happy ending).

    So, at the WTF appt, my question was this: When we first talked about IVF, you estimated we had a 90% chance of success within 3 transfers. Since we have had two fail, do you still have the same level of confidence that we will have 90% chance of success by this third cycle? His answer was yes, and that was all I needed to hear. We ended up transferring 3 embryos on our third transfer and one stuck – we are currently 14 weeks pregnant but it took 15 months to get here.

    I wish you the best of luck and am hopeful that your hcg is non-existent by Monday and that your WTF appt gives you renewed hope to try again when your heart is ready! I’m thinking of you!

    1. Thank you so much for sharing. I’m going to add these thoughts to my list of questions. My clinic suggested a percent success rate of each cycle, but never mentioned a number of cycles they felt it would take to basically guarantee a baby, although I understand there is never a 100% chance in this ‘game’ as I’m now referring to it. Congrats on your pregnancy!

  6. Ugh, how horrible is it to take a private medical call at work? And you try to explain things cryptically, and the medical professional on the other end gets all annoyed, etc., ugh. I’m sorry they weren’t very forthcoming with the WTF appointment, but I’m glad it’s on the books. And I *really* hope you can get started sooner. How weird that the nurse said something different that what you’d previously been told.

    1. Yeah, probably my own fault for giving them my work number, but my cell doesn’t really work at work… And yes, I’m certainly going to ask them to clarify how long I need to wait and what the next steps are!

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