The disappointment is just never-ending in this struggle for a mini-me. Tomorrow afternoon is, well, soon to be was, our IVF consult to discuss next steps, what we’ll change next cycle, when the next cycle can start, etc. Tomorrow’s appointment will not be taking place. My boss asked me to reschedule.
I’m beyond annoyed and frustrated. I mean, really, I don’t even have the words. On one hand I fully understand it’s year-end, we are one team member short already, and the deadline to post entries (AKA get a shit-ton of work completed) is 4pm tomorrow. But then there is the part of me that doesn’t give a rat’s ass (or whatever that saying is) about my job. I want a baby. I would do anything for a baby. I was so looking forward to our appointment tomorrow. But no, I’ll continue to wait. God only knows how far out this will push this process. And Eric even rearranged his schedule to join me tomorrow, which is beyond difficult.
I know, I know, it’s not the end of the world, it’s one appointment. But to me, it’s so much more. I was so excited to figure out our plan going forward. But now all I’m left with is guilt for wanting to put my doctor’s appointment ahead of my work.
As long as I’m complaining., check out this Facebook post. I shared it from a ‘friend’ onto my wall last night. You can only imagine the contents of the article. Basically those with children have concurred the entire world before those without children are even out of bed. And yes, I understand it was supposed to be funny, but frankly, it’s not. I may be childless, but I certainly don’t waste away every Saturday morning in bed till noon. And fine, maybe from time to time I do, but for those of you with children, do you have any idea what I would give up to have a child of my own? Way more than sleep! So no, to me, it wasn’t funny.