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Increasing Meds

Ultrasound and pre-op appointment this morning for my egg retrieval went well. I’m trying not to fuss over the numbers this cycle, but gosh it’s difficult. I didn’t ask for an ultrasound report, but I remember some… I have somewhere around 22 total follicles they can see, but only about 7 or so that are large enough to measure, all in the 9mm to 13mm range. My lining looks great at almost 9mm. They were hoping my estradiol level would be around 830 today, but the nurse just called to let me know it was only 804. So, increasing meds tonight… The diluted Lupron continues, both morning and night, we are increasing Follistim to 225 units tonight and tomorrow night, along with 150 units of Menopur both evenings, and then I’ll return for another ultrasound and estradiol level Friday morning. I’m still really hoping my retrieval will be Sunday or maybe Monday, but clearly this isn’t up to me.

Physically I’m feeling pretty good, a little full in my abdomen, but nothing painful really, as my follicles are still rather small. I’m still terribly tired even though I got plenty of sleep last night, but could be lack of caffeine, as I skipped my morning latte today. Which would also explain the horrible headache.

Mentally though, I feel a mess. Last night I kind of freaked out on Eric over crickets in our house. Yes, crickets. Why are they in our house, and how do I get rid of them? And why does he not seem at all concerned?? He keeps saying, they are harmless. Okay, fine, I don’t know anyone who has died from crickets, but still, they need to live elsewhere, I’m not sharing space with them. So I was frantically cleaning last night, vacuuming, washing bedding. I mean, we don’t have that many, I’ve seen maybe five total in the past two weeks, mostly in out basement, but still, the very thought grosses me out.

And of all nights, Eric picked last night to get an oil change, and sure, why not four new tires on his car! Then he went to see friends while I was home cleaning and doing his laundry. See why I was annoyed? Or maybe it’s just the hormones.

So yes, mentally, not really okay. It’s closing week at work, because of course is it, the busiest time each month. First thing this morning, revenue is off, an issue with some entries, of course. I had my ultrasound at 8:30am, so surely the last thing on my mind was revenue at 8:15am. But such is life, the work never really seems to end. So I ran up to my appointment, which took two hours, worrying the entire time that I should be back in my department, taking care of month-end ‘stuff’. I hate that feeling I get when I’m not where I’m ‘supposed’ to be, when I’m thinking of me, my health, having a baby, during working hours, that guilty feeling…

I was supposed to meet with our state auditors this afternoon, but it was postponed so my team could work the revenue issue. Postponed until tomorrow morning at 9am, of course, the time of my weekly therapy session, of course. Why would it have been booked any other time?? Cause I’m not feeling off enough right now, I mean, I certainly don’t need my therapy appointment this week, right? And let’s not even talk about how many emails I have from the auditors. Oh, isn’t year-end in accounting grand? I’d love to walk over to the College of Business and scream, ‘pick a different major, something interesting and fun’. And after that I’d walk over to the College of Medicine and give them a piece of my mind as well.

But, money doesn’t grow on trees and my TV addiction isn’t free, so back to work. I must find a way to focus for a few more hours today…

10 thoughts on “Increasing Meds

  1. I really hope everything looks great on Friday!

    1. Thank you… I’m so scared this cycle isn’t going to be a success either…

  2. I completely feel for you. My background is also accounting and I completely know the life of leading a full team and working with auditors.. and the month-end / year-end life. It kills your vacations. But I do admit, it helps with these darn IVF costs.. so I hear you. I’m sure it’s the hormones. You’re not crazy and I know what you’re going through. Hang in there. Crazy as it seems… in the end it all works out. Good luck on this cycle’s egg retrieval!! Praying your follies grow!!!

    1. Thank you! And so nice to know others understand month and year ends!

  3. I’m sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed love! I know the feeling when you feel obligated to be somewhere else. It totally sucks!

    I would totally freak over crickets too. I’m about to explode over DH leaving dishes soaking in the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher. I don’t think men realize how much the little things count.

    Good luck with this cycle! Xo

    1. HAHA, no, they really don’t get it, do they… Oh men.

  4. Thinking of you.. Good luck Friday!

  5. Everything happens at once, doesn’t it? The busiest, most least inconvenient time at work, increasing meds. And then in three weeks you’ll have nothing going on (I mean, except a growing baby).
    I’m cheering for you despite all the chaos and mental strife!

    1. Thank you! I’m so hoping for that growing baby in three weeks!

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