So after getting 12 eggs yesterday, twice as many as our last cycle, I was feeling pretty awesome, thinking this cycle was going to result in a bunch of frozen embryos so that hopefully I never have to do the entire process again.
And then I listened to my message from the nurse. 6 eggs fertilized normally out of our 12. We will be doing a 5 day transfer, so it will be Saturday. I am to call Thursday to find out our transfer time for Saturday.
That’s all the message said. And yes, I know we didn’t expect all to fertilize, but Eric’s numbers are always awesome, so this again leads me to believe it’s something to do with my egg quality. I’m so scared we aren’t going to be left with any to freeze, again. Last cycle none of our embryos lived to day 5. What if that happens again, but that this time we don’t even have any to transfer? And how am I supposed to return to work tomorrow with all this on my mind?
I don’t know how to get through the next two weeks, I really don’t. I thought I was such a strong person for everything I’ve already been through, but at each step of this process I just feel a little bit more beat down. How much can a human really take? I want to be normal, I want to be happy. But this process seems to be stripping all of that away from me.