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I realize I haven’t written nearly as much lately since we found out we’re pregnant. I guess it’s a combination of feeling sick, tired, and just altogether icky. And not much is happening day-to-day. I mean really, the highlight of last week was my new iPhone arriving in the mail, and I doubt many of you want to hear about that! I have noticed my house is a tad on the dirtier side lately, another effect of pregnancy? The vacuum cleaner is still sitting in the living room, where I left it last weekend after vacuuming, assuming it would be needed again. That’s a normal place for it, right?? And I can’t even remember when I did laundry last. I guess that’s a task for tonight.

A huge thank you to everyone who shared advice and words of wisdom regarding my request for part-time status at work, it was truly, truly appreciated. Sadly to say, I’ve decided to stay full-time. Sadly because I really was looking forward to my afternoons off to tend to personal matters, such as rental property, building our new home, moving, baby appointments, etc. Such is life though. I’m able to work full-time, so I might as well be here earning money to spend on our little one. Maybe at some point before June 1st it will make sense to just quit altogether, we’ll see.

So how did it all play out with my boss? I did end up calling an HR representative, without my boss knowing. I felt I deserved to know how this all works from a 3rd party’s perspective, if you can even consider a random HR rep a 3rd party. The rep I spoke with on the phone pretty much confirmed what my boss had told me, that if I wanted to go part-time I’d need to agree to be reclassified as a temporary employee (no benefits) to enable my team to rehire and train quickly. Basically my boss had claimed it was a business need for my position to stay full-time and thus her being allowed to hire another part-time person to pick up my ‘slack’. It’s all pretty ridiculous to me though, as one of the main reasons I requested part-time was out of boredom in my role. What the heck work would I give this other part-time person??

I was able to verify with the HR representative that I can stay as long as I wish. He said my department has proven my position is necessary full-time, and therefore my boss isn’t allowed to request I leave at any certain time, meaning I can give my notice when I see fit. Based on this information, I felt it was just best to stay in my role, not making any changes to my hours. My biggest fear is being let go once I’m classified as temporary, as it’s my understanding temporary roles here are not guaranteed for any length of time. As much as I wanted my afternoons off, I’m not willing to give up ALL benefits and stability.

Last Friday I mailed the first check to our builder, $1,000 for him to get started on floor plans. He has a fairly good idea of our likes and dislikes, so I’m anxious to see what he comes up with. I obviously expect changes to be needed, but I trust he’ll show us something amazing soon. And just this morning I confirmed with our realtor that we want to make an offer on a lot, so that’s exciting too! Things are starting to take shape, moving to Cedar Falls is starting to feel quite a bit more real!

And lastly, why do I feel like an impostor in these maternity pants? Like I don’t belong, like I’m trying to wish this pregnancy along, pretend it’s happening when it isn’t… Does anyone else feel that way? It’s the same reason why I haven’t really bought anything for the baby yet, as the fear is still there that this is all just waiting to be taken away from me, again.

8 thoughts on “8w0d

  1. I know how you feel about the fraud in maternity clothes, but as people have me – I assure you – you aren’t. =)

  2. I still haven’t bought anything for baby and I’m 15 weeks. I understand the fear. Hoping to start our registry soon, maybe that will help.

    1. I’m not sure I’ll ever make a registry… I’m not sure I want a baby shower 🙁

  3. I know how you feel about the clothes! The first time I wore my halloween baby shirt that shows a little skeleton baby below my ribs, I felt so conspicuous like I needed tell everyone, “No Really I Am pregnant!” lol. But now that the bump is well established I feel better 🙂

    1. Yes, I excited to actually look pregnant, one of these months!

  4. Still definitely feeling imposter-like at 16 and a half weeks . . .Maybe it’s the curse of being a pregnant infertile?

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