20w4d ~ Baby Shower ~ Updated

Oops, sorry about that, I clicked on publish too soon!  This version has a bit more to it…

I feel truly blessed that two friends have mentioned throwing me a baby shower.  No, I think I feel spoiled actually.  See, I’m weird about others, even close friends and family, spending their time and/or money on me.  And certainly planning and throwing a baby shower involves both, not to mention the gifts that seem to be expected at such an event.  I have no idea when or how this weirdness about me started, but if you’ve been following my blog I’m sure you remember some previous posts about how a baby shower might not be for me.

I LOVE to give others gifts, the sheer joy of seeing the looks on their faces, or better yet, giving anonymously.  Just knowing you made someone’s day, or week, or year.  It’s a great feeling.  But then why can’t I accept the same from others?  Do I not believe I’m worthy or deserving?  To be completely honest, I have this strong desire to actively plan my own shower, and pay for it.  No really, I feel like I should order the invites and send them out so someone else doesn’t have to…  That’s weird, right?

Speaking of invites, I need some advice.  I of course have the list of girls I’m close with, including those I work with who see me daily and probably have the best glimpse into my life.  But what about those who have come into my life in one way or another, those who maybe I haven’t actually spoken to or seen in months?  I’d love to see them, to catch up, to reconnect…  But is my baby shower the place?  I feel like inviting them forces them to purchase me a baby gift, and I certainly can’t and don’t expect that from women who don’t see me on a regular basis.  So where do you draw the line on invites?

15 thoughts on “20w4d ~ Baby Shower ~ Updated

  1. I had some of the same concerns when determining the guest lists for my showers. I, too, thought about inviting people I haven’t seen or talked to for a long time but didn’t want them to feel like I was only inviting them because they might bring a gift. That said, I did invite some family friends whom I haven’t seen in many years. And some friends of my mom because I know she would want them there. I suppose it might come down to the size of the guest list and how many people you think will attend. I ended up splitting my guest list in two to avoid having 50 people at one shower. I didn’t want people to have to sit and watch me open presents for hours.

    It’s great you have friends who have offered to host for you. I’m not surprised 🙂 And I think it’s totally appropriate for you to have input on your shower. If there are certain foods you would like or games that you absolutely don’t want played (if there are any games at all.) I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you contributing to the event if you would like to.

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    1. I did finish the guest list for the shower my two friends offered to throw. It was easier than I thought, as it will just be friends, well, aside from my mother who I felt should be there too. I assume we’ll still do something separate for family, and perhaps that list will be a bit more difficult, as family friends will come into play. But I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

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  2. I asked the same question about invites. I was told to invite anyone I wanted to include and give them the option if they wanted to come and/or give a gift. This way no one felt left out from not getting an invite. Hope that helps you decide!

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  3. i had a hard time with this too – my sister figured out she’d be here at a good time so offered to host, but seeing as she’s much younger, i didn’t want her to pay for a lot of it. so we’re compromising and while she’s doing a lot of the planning and making favors, i’m paying for the food – it’s small bites and desserts since we’re doing it after lunch time. the guest list was pretty long because of my dance studio that’s all women – it’s hard to figure out where to stop inviting! i think in the end it’s up to you and what you prefer – something more intimate, or something bigger. then my hubby’s teammate insisted on throwing one for me also, and that will be potluck, so i don’t feel too guilty about that.

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    1. I don’t like being the center of attention, so I told my friends something low key, and with only 29 on the guest list, I’m hoping the turnout is actually quite small. If I had it my way, we’d wait until after baby is born and have a meet and greet for her! Do people ever do that instead? Maybe it’s not too late to plan that instead…

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  4. I feel weird about the baby shower thing, too–in much the same way as you. I’ve been helping to plan showers and buying baby gifts for soooo many years–I don’t know why I feel so awkward about it now that it’s almost my turn. I wish I could just turn it off and enjoy. Goodness knows I was always happy and excited to shop for all of their baby gifts! I never felt like it was an obligation!

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  5. I’d say invite anyone that you would like to see. Just getting the invite is a nice gesture (even if they can’t attend). Some women love to attend baby showers and buy baby things – even if there’s no pressure to do so. I’ve invited a couple of friends to our shower that I haven’t seen in forever. But they are my girlfriends from elementary school and it would be neat to see them. I don’t expect them to come but I think they will at least appreciate the invite 🙂

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