Full Disclosure with Employer?

I’m looking for some opinions on what others have told their boss/employer and what they have kept to themselves…

Remember back to all the drama when I requested to go part-time at work? My employer basically said I could, but that I’d need to agree to be reclassified as temporary so they could hire my replacement immediately. Now that in and of itself was ridiculous, as here I sit at work, bored because my boss has already reassigned my work to others.

Last week my boss called me and my two teammates into her office to discuss time off in the coming months, just to make sure we’re all on the same page. My boss will be gone January month-end, my female teammate is taking a vacation over February month-end, and then N’s wife is due May 1st so who knows when he will need time off. He requested two weeks leave one his daughter is born, which to me is insane, but then again, perspective I guess. I assume Eric will have the day of our baby girl’s birth off, and that’s it. Anyway, in this conversation my boss confirmed my due date, June 1st, and then asked how much longer I was planning to work. I felt very put on the spot, being my teammates were in the room, but I answered honestly, that I’d like to work as long as I can. Now, in my boss’s mind I assume she heard I’d stay working until fairly close to June 1st. Here’s where full disclosure comes into play…

Should I have told my boss the whole truth, that there is a chance I won’t be here working until June 1st due to my shortened cervix and complications that may arise? I mean, technically at this point I don’t know… I’m scared to be honest with her though, for fear she will try (again) to push me out of my role before I’m ready to leave. I just don’t want to give her any more reason to get me out of here than she already has. In the big picture I’d normally think it’s required to be upfront with your boss, to make sure the team/company doesn’t suffer, but in this case, since so little of my work is still on my plate, I’m not seeing the point. Or maybe I’m trying not to see the point.

Also in the meeting with my team and boss I was asked whether or not I was planning to return to work after baby is born. My team knows my situation, that we are moving for Eric’s work, but they also know our house won’t be finished for many months from now, leaving me here in town and technically available to work. Now there are advantages to coming back to work… I could take a true maternity leave, which isn’t paid, but at least I wouldn’t lose my sick-time. And I think I could arrange to cover our health insurance for the months we’ll be without, a huge plus. But on the other hand, I haven’t arranged for childcare, thinking I wouldn’t need it here in town. Do I start researching that just in case? Will I even want to come back to work? What if I agree now to come back but then change my mind, does that leave my team worse off? Whose needs/wants come first? How do I not feel like I’m taking advantage of my employer, being so much of my life during the next ten months is unknown?

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28 thoughts on “Full Disclosure with Employer?

  1. The job situation is always a tough one. I always bothers me when an employer is not fully supportive. I think you should take a few days to think about what matters most to you. Don’t feel obligated to an employer that you won’t be staying with long-term.

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    1. I guess it would help if HR was more assessable here, but they are tucked away. Our department admin is the one I’m supposed to speak with, as she is the go-between with HR, but it feels a little odd to discuss all of this with her. But yes, I probably do need to consider everything first…

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  2. honestly, I don’t think you’re employer needs to know about your cervix. I think you did the right thing in letting her know your plans based on your due date. as far as returning, I think they should assume you are coming back. I don’t think you are taking advantage of your employer, you are letting her know the hard facts. you aren’t letting her know the “what ifs” and seriously, that’s something for you and hubby to decide. I think you are good with what you’ve disclosed. 🙂

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      1. Yeah, I totally get it. But you are entitled to change your mind. You shouldn’t feel bad about it. Life happens. From what you’ve said about your boss…. whatever you do, she is not going to be pleased with it. So just do you!! Plus, at the end of the day, you’re decisions will be based on your family of 3… 🙂

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  3. I think you should absolutely not tell them anything about pregnancy complications. Not given how they handled things the last time. You are under no obligation. Your medical issues are none of their business unless/until they start interfering with work and you can cross that bridge if/when you come to it.

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  4. I don’t think you need to tell your employer, especially given the history. When I submitted my official leave request (90 days before anticipated) I said that I planned to work until my baby was born but would give them as much notice as possible if things should change. Right now, you don’t know what things could look like in terms of complications – you may need bedrest, induction, or nothing. I think you can tell them once you have a clear idea of what your doc will want. Sorry your boss is being an asshole.

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  5. You don’t have to say anything. You simply need to give 2 weeks notice before you quit unless you tell them it’s after baby is born. If you can afford to don’t go back to work after, you never get that special newborn time again. Won’t Eric have insurance, or at least cobra or 90 days? Plus our boss asking in front of everyone really isn’t legal to ask.

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  6. Eric only gets one day?! Lance’s hospital (which is also academic) husbands get a full paid week.

    As for the full disclosure, you have no need to disclose anything. Just because your cervix is 2 cm doesn’t mean you’ll definitely have to stop working early, so I see no need to disclose a “maybe”. If you knew for sure you were going to stop 4 weeks before your due date or something that would be a different story.

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    1. Yes, Eric probably only gets one day. I’m honestly not sure if there are hospital wide policies here or not for residents, but I know from past experience with other residents in his department that time off is not a luxury they are afforded. One of his teammates was actually on-call the day his wife delivered and he just ran up to her room and then kept on working! Eric technically doesn’t have sick time, in fact, he is expected to be at work unless he is admitted to the hospital. And as far as vacation, they get 2 weeks a year, but it’s scheduled ahead of time and obviously won’t be around the time baby is born. I can’t wait until he is finished with this place! Maybe other departments are more liberal, but his department kind of sucks!

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  7. I’m with the others. Don’t tell your employer more than what you’re comfortable. It’s safe to assume that some pregnancies are shorter than others, and while she’s expecting you there until June 1st, I wouldn’t stress about it if you need to leave earlier. I would research childcare just in case. Especially if you’re not busy at work now! It’s a great use of time! LOL

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  8. Regarding your cervix, I wouldn’t say anything until you actually have a problem (which will hopefully not happen). You don’t know if/when there could be an issue, so no point sounding alarms. God forbid you need to deliver early, work will figure it out. I work for a bank and always say it will keep running without me 😉 Well that’s my two sense, hope it helps.

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  9. This is echoed in some of the above comments, but I wouldn’t say anything until you know for sure what’s going on. Then you can have a real plan. Your boss doesn’t need to know anything else right now other than your due date.

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  10. Wow, I can’t believe your boss would ask you those questions in front of everyone and put you on the spot like that. I am pretty sure that is a HUGE no no! I wouldn’t tell her anything until you know more yourself.

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