Just a little update, don’t expect great things as I’ll admit, I’m feeling a little out of it. The side effects from the magnesium seem to be bothering me more today… Blurred vision, difficulty focusing, feeling cross-eyed, like I’m in dream land pretty much. So hopefully some of this makes sense and is spelled correctly.
We made it another day pregnant, it’s Sunday now, and tomorrow morning I’ll be officially 29 weeks. Another day is another day.
Aside from the magnesium side effects, I’m feeling rather out of sorts here. I’m sure many of you can relate… I feel trapped in this hospital room, in this bed really, as I can only get up to pee, and with help to unhook and reconnect all these monitors and drag my IV pole along. And you know how I hate depending on others! Eric has been here most of the time, although he’s been snoring through the nights! Good thing the nurses are here! He’s been great though, silencing all the darn alarms on these monitors and such! He actually left a bit ago to take Kona to my moms, at least for tonight so that he doesn’t have to keep running home to let her out. I really hate dumping her on my mom and step-dad, but I’m very thankful of them for helping.
I finally got some sleep last night, as I finally accepted a sleeping pill from my nurse. They check my vitals, temp, blood pressure, reflexes, listen to my heart, and check my pee every hour, so when I say I slept, that is relative, but there was some sleep, which is good.
My contractions are still coming and going, some more painful than others. I actually didn’t notice anything strong during the night, but since I’ve been awake today I’ve felt quite a few and several made me wanna say, ouch. I keep looking at the number on my external monitor contraction thing, but for the life of me I don’t understand the correlation between my pain and the number it displays, so who knows! Baby looks great for the most part, two nurses did come in during the night to get me to change position and check oxygen levels, as her heart rate seemed low for a bit, but all seems better now. They are avoiding checking my cervix for fear of aggravating it, so no idea if I’m still dilated to just 2cm or not.
So the plan for today has not changed, magnesium continues until 9pm tonight, antibiotics continue until God knows when. I haven’t had any more pain meds, but I’ll surely be asking for some should I feel more uncomfortable. I’m feeling a lot of the contractions is my back, which is totally not fun!
I was feeling a little selfish last night, guilty too. We met with the NICU doctors yesterday afternoon, and it was the first time I really wanted to bawl my eyes out The team was really, really encouraging, giving us great statistics on 29 week babies delivered here at UIHC. Who knew this NICU has the best survival rates in the country! The docs said at 29 weeks she would probably need help breathing, but perhaps only be intibuted for maybe a week and then oxygen in other methods. Respiratory issues are not their largest concern with 29 week premies though, their brains are. Apparently brain bleeds are common, although I’m not sure I remember, or understand why. I do remember them preparing us by explaining how we might not get to see baby right away if she is delivered this early, as the NICU team would take her immediately. Also, we probably wouldn’t be able to hold her for at least a week until she’s more stable. All that said, I know everyday we can keep her inside is best. My guilty feelings come into play there though… I honestly can’t picture my current state being my life for weeks or months… These contractions coming and going, some quite painful. I guess seeing an endpoint with a normal delivery seems realistic to me. But going on like this for how long? Well, I guess there is a part of me that just wants her to be born if that’s what my body wants. But again, welcome to motherhood, it’s not about me, it’s about what’s best for her.