This is so hard, the constant worry, the uncertainly, the guilt, not being able to comfort my daughter… It all just sucks. I honestly don’t know how people get through this. I guess one day at time, which is what I’m trying to focus on now. I feel so helpful though, still just standing by Nora’s incubator, wondering if she’s in pain and hoping that somehow this all turns out well in the end.
I was admitted yesterday afternoon with what they believe to be an infection in my uterus. They find it odd that I was prefectly fine for a week after delivery before I developed this infection… My temp at admission was 102 something, but thankfully that is down now. I was started on IV antibiotics, so I should be feeling better later today. And I was able to get some sleep here last night, just waking every three hours to pump. I’m told I’ll be released once I’ve been fever free to 24 hours. So hopefully tomorrow (Saturday) sometime.
Nora had progress, but some setbacks as well in the past 24 hours. Her tiny body is trying really hard to fight the meningitis, and therefore she’s been pretty worn out and having more spells where her heart rate drops or she forgets to breath. These are normal in a preemie they tell me, but she was just having more and more since she’s weaker, and thus they decided to intubate her this morning. As much as I feel like this is yet another setback, they tell me it isn’t forever, just until she’s a little stronger. The machines breathing for her will help her body focus on healing faster. She seems to be resting comfortably now, as she was sedated as well to help her relax.
An MRI of her brain is scheduled for later today to check for signs of seizures or any damage from past seizures or the meningitis. They are also planning to start a 24 hour video EEG, also to observe for seizures. I’m so hoping she’s not having seizures, as that would indicate perhaps more issues later in her life related to development, hearing, or learning.
Some good news, she is up to 1330 g, or 2.93 lbs. which is almost back to her birth weight of 2.94 lbs. They are holding breast milk feedings for the time being, but she is still receiving IV nourishment. Also, her CRP was lower today for the first time, showing that her body is fighting the infection.