This morning was my six week postpartum checkup. It was quick and painless. Finally something was painless!
Physical exam was fine. My second degree tear, whatever that means, has healed completely and my uterus and cervix are back to their non-pregnant state.
Before I saw my doctor the nurse had me fill out a questionnaire about my mood since Nora’s birth. Well of course I marked I’m sad most days, I feel discouraged, sometimes hopeless… I’ve been taking 50mg daily of Zoloft for as far back as I can remember. I hate that I rely on something to make me feel ‘okay’ but such is life I guess. Could certainly be worse. After reviewing my questionnaire my doctor recommended increasing my dose to 100mg per day. She said very little transfers to breast milk and Zoloft is still considered safe when breast feeding. I pray this to be true. So I’ll try this increase and see how I feel. I honestly think my sadness is situational and hope it improves once Nora is home and my life feels a bit more stable.
Last on the agenda this morning was birth control. I’m still feeling like it’s pointless given the road which has lead me here… My doctor recommended a progesterone only pill since I’m nursing. I’ll start it Sunday. I do want more children, but at this point I’m not sure my body should carry them.
When I left my appointment this morning I was asked to set up my next appointment, an annual exam in May of 2016. Um, say what? For the past almost two years I’ve had weekly, sometimes several a week, doctors appointments. Talk about a strange adjustment! I walked back to my car with an odd sense of finality. Odder even since this pregnancy is truly over but yet Nora is still not home.