I can’t believe it’s been 20 weeks since Nora’s birth. And yet somehow she is still only around 10 pounds! I’m a little biased, but I think she gets cuter every week! She wouldn’t sit still for this week’s photo, notice the slight blur 🙂
I continue to wonder what the heck I’m supposed to do with Nora all day everyday. Eric left Saturday for Cedar Falls as he started his ‘it gets better’ job, as it’s often referred to… the first job out of residency that is. We’re tentatively scheduled to move Friday, August 14th, which means I’m here alone with Nora and Kona until then. AHHHH! So far so good, but it’s only been a few days.
The days really are flying… everyone tells me they do with a baby since life seems to repeat every three hours when Nora needs to eat again. Speaking of eating, I’m still pumping and feeding Nora my milk with bottles. (Oh, did I mention I stopped fortifying my milk altogether? Yeah, long story, but to make it short, since her doctors agreed we could cut back on her calories, and I was kind of fed up with her gas and upset stomach, I decided to try straight, plain breast milk for a few days. And then I just never went back to adding in the fortifier. She actually poops now!) Anyway, I tried last Saturday to strictly nurse her all day to see how we’d manage, using a nipple shield of course. Since I’ve been pumping less I was fairly confident that Nora could consume all the milk, or very close to all the milk, I’m making. That said, after a few hours of nursing her she was crying and my breasts were uncomfortable. I know she gets some milk, she seemed satisfied after the first feeding, but after the second and third feedings she was fussy, wouldn’t go to sleep, and I had hard, sore spots, which I assumed were ducts that Nora wasn’t able to empty. Funny that I was so looking forward to pumping after that experience! Still feeling frustrated though, I broke down and called the pediatric dentist I was referred to for her upper lip tie and posterior tongue tie… Well, actually, her and I emailed back and forth a few times and then I finally called to make an appointment, which is tomorrow morning at 8am. And it’s at least 90 minutes from where we live. Okay, I know this doesn’t sound all that difficult, but I’m really wondering how I’m going to get there on-time. I might be showering at 3am after feeding Nora! There is a part of me that still would have preferred the ENT perform the correction, but a larger part of me didn’t want to wait another month and a half for that appointment. And this pediatric dentist comes very highly recommended. I am terrified though. I think I have PTSD from our NICU experience. I just keep picturing Nora in pain, all the procedures she endured, all the spinal taps, all the IVs, the literally hundreds of blood draws, intubations, the tortuous eye exams… Ugh, even just thinking about those days in the NICU, all the times they would ask me to step out, and I’d go for a walk while I knew she was screaming… So hard. I’m told they will numb her mouth tomorrow, and that the procedure is really quick, but it still breaks me heart. Please think of us tomorrow morning and pray for success and a quick recovery. I’ll update and let you all know how it goes.
In other news, Nora and I had a fantastic lunch today with the ladies I used to work with at the hospital. It seriously was so good to see them! I miss them so much! You know that feeling when you break up with someone and then you see them with someone new and it’s like you feel left out? Yeah, totally had that feeling at lunch. As much as I disliked my job, the actual work, I really, really enjoyed some of the people. Not N of course, but several girls became close friends. I so miss the chit-chat, catching up on each others lives, giving and getting advice, venting about the not so awesome people at work… I keep telling myself I’m going to do a better job of staying in touch with those I truly care about, but then another week passes and I can’t figure out where the time went… Is that just life? I truly hope those wonderful ladies know how important they are to me, even if we aren’t able to see each other as much as I’d like. And with me moving soon, I fear even more for our friendships. Thankfully I won’t live too far and should be able to come back to meet for lunches from time to time! I’ll look forward to those days!