You might want to sit down…

Yes, you might want to sit down before you read this…

I guess I should start by saying, if you know me in real life, I ask that you please not share this with anyone just yet.  I’ve tried to be super open and honest and I’d like to continue to do so, but that said, a lot of what I share with all of you through my blog, including this, isn’t meant to be shared with the entire world just yet…

I’m pregnant.

I know, right.  After everything we went through previously, three IUIs, two complete rounds of IVF, thousands of injections, literally hundreds of blood draws, way more doctors appointments than I’d like to recall, and so many damn ultrasounds…

So how did this happen you ask.  I have no freaking clue.  Okay, well, that’s not entirely true 😉

So remember back to that OB/GYN follow-up everyone has after having a baby?  Is it like six weeks after delivery maybe?  I don’t know, I just remember that Nora was still in the NICU, I was still terrified of losing her, and yet here my OB was saying, you really need to start back on BCPs.  Ha, yeah, I actually did fill the Rx, took the first pack home, and I’m fairly certain it’s still in my bathroom somewhere.  I guess the joke is on me for thinking I didn’t need them.  But seriously, I’m still nursing, on top of everything we went through.

So I’m now that chick.  The one who is going to be told she just needed to relax to get pregnant.  And I swear to God if anyone actually tells me that I will freak out.  I’m also the chick who has no idea how far along she is…  Which actually leads me to how I found out I was pregnant…

Last week I had some very light spotting, right on cycle day 29, so I assumed it was my period, as mine are often light anyway.  So I had this great idea to get some ovulation test strips and see if my cycles were back on track.  Yesterday, supposedly cycle day 6, I used one, and it showed peak fertility, which struck me as odd.  So I goggled reasons and found that it could mean you’re pregnant.  HA, I thought, that’s funny.  But I randomly took a test anyway.  And wouldn’t you know…IMG_3698I must have been in shock cause I looked at it and said, oh, to myself, set it on the counter and walked away.  I texted Eric shortly there after and he had a similar reaction…  Didn’t believe the test, as really, what are the chances?  My only thought was that my spotting last week was implantation bleeding, making me about 5 weeks along, but I honestly don’t know.

Today I went in search of those ClearBlue tests with the weeks estimator.  Ya know, with my baby, that still looks newborn.  Classy, right?  Well I went to three places before giving up, as apparently chicks in Cedar Falls don’t find themselves unexpectedly pregnant and unsure how far along they are, like chicks in Iowa City.  Apparently no demand here for such…

Why do I feel like such an irresponsible mother?  My doctor told me to wait at least a year to allow my body to heal, to allow time to finish breastfeeding and such.  Well, I basically have a 4 month old and I’m pregnant!  Never in my widest dreams was this in the cards for me.  I don’t even have a doctor here!  I called my OB in Iowa City and was told it’s totally up to me if I want to seek a physician in my new city, although they advised that I’d probably be referred to them later in the pregnancy anyway.  So out of convenience I called a doctor in town and explained my situation.  First steps I was told is to confirm viability, therefore I’m going for blood draws tomorrow and Friday morning to make sure my HCG levels are doubling appropriately.  Sounds familiar!  Once my level is at, I forget now, they will do an ultrasound to date the pregnancy.  All that sounded appropriate until the nurse told me that after that I’d see the doctor at 12 weeks.  Say what??  12 weeks??  Is that when normal people see their doctor??  I guess I was used to special treatment…  I expressed some concerns, again, given my history, and the nurse said they could perhaps see me at 10 weeks.  I still feel like that’s too far off.  Or maybe I’m just being paranoid.  I guess my plan for now is to proceed with the blood draws and ultrasound, and in the meantime chat with my OB in Iowa City again to see how early they would advise a first visit.  Maybe I will just end up back in Iowa City for all my care.  Depending on how many appointments I’ll have though, the drive could get old.

Oh, and just to confirm, I took a few more today.  These can’t all be wrong 🙂

IMG_3715

So honestly, I have no idea what to think.  Of course I’m thrilled, as I never pictured Nora to be an only child.  But I also didn’t picture children this close in age.  I mean, I’ve barely figured out one, much less two!  I was so excited to lose a few more pounds and get back in shape…  I guess now isn’t the time for that.  And OMG, do I really have to dig out my maternity clothes?  I guess the good thing, I’m not working now, so no dressing up!

Ultimately though, I could be getting ahead of myself.  I would venture to say every single one of you reading this know how delicate pregnancies are, especially this early.  There are certainly no guarantees, and as happy and excited as I am, I’m also terrified.  Scared this pregnancy will be a repeat of last, scared more NICU time is in our future.  I don’t know how I would handle that, and while I know every pregnancy is different, the fear I feel is all too familiar.

40 thoughts on “You might want to sit down…

  1. Wow! Congrats! So I have a close friend and a cousin who have kids less than 2 years apart because their first was conceived via IVF and surprise! Their second just came out of nowhere. Seems like it’s a thing ;-).

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  2. Whoa girl! Congrats! I also never bothered with birth control after going through IF. I feel like it’s so unlikely… but then it CLEARLY does happen! I can’t imagine how shocked you must have been. A friend of mine has two LO’s that are less than a year apart. I think her first baby was 8 weeks old when the next one was conceived totally unexpectedly. Hoping this time around is a totally different and easy experience for you.

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  3. Wow!!! Congratulations! I guess after infertility, having a baby CAN make you fertile! I’m sure it’s overwhelming, but great! I’m praying for you!

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  4. Oh wow! I hope your blood draws and ultrasound go well. I think after all you’ve been through, you deserve no infertility treatments this time 🙂

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  5. I think this is great news! So happy for you! You’re babies will be about the distance apart in age that my brother and I are, and we wouldn’t have had it any other way.

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  6. Completely crossing my fingers and eyes and sending all good wishes. It isn’t about relaxing, ignore the ignorant people because they won’t hear you and just want to believe in simplistic old wives tales. Please keep sharing as we are all holding our breath for you.

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  7. What wonderful news! So happy for you. After everything you have been through, you deserve this. Second time around is so different. You are a great mom and god sees that so that is why he is blessing you with another miracle!! Sending lots of prayers your way for a healthy pregnancy.

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