February 22, 2016 – 49 Weeks (38 Weeks Corrected)

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Nora’s first birthday is slowly creeping up on me. And when I say slowly I mean charging forward like a semi whose brakes are failing. It just now occurred to me that perhaps I’m avoiding planning because I’m in denial.  She can’t really be turning one, can she?? The baby I was so afraid would never even leave the NICU! I seriously have no idea how we made it this far…

So let’s avoid talking about her birthday, as there isn’t really anything new to share anyway, I’ve come no further in planning…

Instead, let’s talk sleep. Why the heck won’t Nora go to sleep lately?? I can clearly tell when she’s tired, she’s cranky and there is lots of eye rubbing. Rocking to sleep used to work. No longer. Last night I rocked her for maybe 30 minutes, she did fall asleep, I transferred her to the crib, but I no sooner walked out the door and she was standing in her crib, screaming like she is dying. Eric had been making dinner, so he and I sat down and quickly ate. Fifteen minutes later he received a phone call, so I decided dinner was over and went back into Nora’s room to rock her once again. We rocked, and rocked, and rocked. She cried, and quieted, and then cried some more. She laid still and then fought me, and then laid still again, until she was ready to fight me again. An hour of this and I kind of gave up, feeling defeated and quite the failure when it came to being a mom. So I laid her in her crib, wide awake, and of course, more screaming. I walked back into the kitchen and Eric could obviously see I was frustrated, so he decided to try. He rocked her for another hour, same story. So he put her in bed and walked out, it being about 9pm by then. She cried for maybe 10 minutes and laid down and fell asleep. Like really? I spent hours trying to get her to sleep and then she just lays down??  I know I’ve written before about how I wasn’t all that much in favor of letting children cry it out. But is that my only option at this point? Anyone have any other ideas? I’d like to be able to comfort her, rocking her to sleep each night, but honestly, I’m not sure I have it in me to spend literally hours doing this each evening.

So for Nora’s morning nap today I rocked her, like I always do. She fell asleep and I laid her in bed. Walked out, and she was awake again. So rocked again, and she was totally fighting me, so I laid her back in bed and walked out. I really needed to shower… She cried hard for 45 minutes before she finally laid down and fell asleep. And after all that she still only slept for maybe 40 minutes. I’m still feeling defeated, like an awful mom. I keep thinking of Nora’s sweet face, with tears streaming down it.

In other news… Nora made it 11 months before getting her first real illness. Thursday I noticed a few small red pimples, one on her chin, one on her neck, and another on her upper, inner arm. I took pictures and figured I’d watch them. Well, Sunday morning the one on her arm looked very different, like an open wound, with a bit of a scab over it. Of course I freaked. Of course Eric was working, where the hell else would he be? I texted him a picture and he responded by saying he was sure she wasn’t dying but that we should have it looked at. Um, I thought that’s what we were doing when I texted him the picture! Sometimes I hate that Eric is a doctor, and other times I love it. There is no law against treating family or those you know, but there is more of an unwritten rule. Like if Eric started giving me tons of narcotics it would definitely raise some red flags. Eric was pretty sure Nora’s spots were impetigo, but he respects that he is not a pediatrician and thus this was not his specialty, so off to the doctor we went. Keep in mind, it was a Sunday afternoon. We went to the clinic where Nora’s ped works, but being a weekend it was urgent care only. When he checked in Eric asked if there was a ped working, and the receptionist said, no, just a nurse practitioner. I knew exactly what Eric was thinking… That it was pointless for us to come, that he should have just prescribed the cream that Nora needed himself. But we checked in and waited. The provider we saw was actually very nice, I liked her a lot, but they must have had notes in Nora’s chart about Eric’s profession, because after she determined it was impetigo and decided on a cream, she asked Eric if he was in agreement. Ugh, proving her knowledge base, or lack there of. Why is it so freaking hard to find actual MDs these days? Now don’t get me wrong, nurse practitioners and physician assistants have their place, they serve important purposes and many are excellent, but I just feel like they are used in places they shouldn’t be sometimes, for the sole purpose of saving money. Why does our health and safety always come down to money??? It drives me crazy. Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox now.

Hopefully Nora’s spots are healed soon. She also has a terrible runny rose, but I’m guessing that is unrelated. I do need to email her immune doctor at the U, as she wanted to know if there were any changes in her health. I really hope she don’t feel this warrants an IgG transfusion. I’m hoping this cream is enough for Nora to fight off impetigo.

A little unrelated, but before I close today I want to say how very touched I am that people actually follow my blog. This all began years ago as a way for me to get my feelings out and handle the stress of IVF. I never thought I’d meet so many wonderful, caring individuals. I can’t even begin to tell you how touched I am, of your interest, compassion, and great advice. Most of what I write seems really boring to me… Maybe I need to spice things up a bit!

19 thoughts on “February 22, 2016 – 49 Weeks (38 Weeks Corrected)

  1. Hey Stef, It is the second sleep regression. It sucks! She is making a lot of leaps and learning new things and just does not want to sleep. Carly did it to, we had some rough nights where I was not always nice. Carly risked her first real words but the F word. What we did was nurse, (Nora with a bottle), cuddle/ story, lay her down. We did a version of the cry it out method. We would give her 5 minutes then go in, then 10 and go in. We would calm her cuddle her and lay her back down. I never went more then 10 minutes of crying. It took a few nights, Nick had to do it because I couldn’t at times and she would go back down. Repeat until you give up and let her cry it out or until she falls asleep. Also try adjusting her bed time earlier, it sounds crazy but she could be overly tired and at that point all hell has broken loose inside them and they can’t get it together to sleep. Good Luck!

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    1. Last night I told myself I would rock her to sleep, but if she woke during the transition or after she was in bed for a bit, that I’d let her cry, but check on her every few minutes. Thankfully I didn’t have to as she slept thru the night awesome. I hope tonight is just as easy! I did think of an earlier bedtime, but she is already in bed around 6:30, does it need to be earlier?

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      1. What time does she get up. Our kids go to bed between 8-8:30, sometimes 8:45 if I get busy and get up at 7 ish. Naps depend on if she takes one or two. On two days we will have a 10:30 nap and a 1 pm nap, the 1 pm nap will typically be longer than the morning nap. Each one is different. Carly’s sleep regression lasted for about 2 months at that age, now she is back to sleeping through the night. It sucks!!! Hang in there.

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        1. She is usually awake between 730 and 8. This morning it was 815 and because the cleaning ladies were here, she didn’t go down for a nap until 11, and she was cranky! She slept until almost 1 and just fell asleep again at 315 or so. I don’t expect this nap to last long. What time would you suggest putting Nora to bed knowing all this?

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          1. First it’s about survival!!! Do what you have to. Carly slept in our room from 8 months to 11 1/2 the night in a pack and play be aside she nursed 2-3 times a night and I couldn’t walk up the stairs half asleep. However, if you want to try putting her down 15 minutes later, after a bedtime routine she may do a little better. 12 hours is good for 8 months of age. I also should tell you with Nolan I had to leave the house. I took the video monitor to Amy’s porch next door and stayed there until he was asleep. I couldn’t do the crying either.

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              1. You are definitely not failing. Do what feels right! Does she have any toys in her crib, a sensory light on the ceiling? At 8 1/2 months Carly slept in our bed or our room so you are not failing, you cannot be a walking zombie. A day time trick it to let her cry a little longer before picking her up, it helps her build skills for self soothing. I sucked at this so I didn’t, do it, but some swear by it.

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                  1. Well at a certain point if they can’t choke or strangle or smother themselves it’s oaky. Carly has keys, a blanket, and a remote in her bed. She may have slept with her brothers clean socks for 4 days.

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  2. How long has Nora been awake when you’re trying to put her down (for her next nap or for bed at night)? It sounds like she could be getting overtired, which is going to make it hard for her to fall asleep on her own. Maybe try moving nap times/bedtimes earlier, to catch her BEFORE she’s showing obvious drowsy signs. Then rather than rocking her to sleep, put her in her bed to help her start learn how to fall asleep without being rocked and before she’s too tired to be able to fall asleep on her own.

    Good luck!

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  3. I feel you on the sleep issues, lady. I’m not sure if you’re interested in looking into a “sleep method” but I ordered and read The Happy Sleeper and the book is easy to follow and the method is, too. There are lots of reviews on Amazon and it provides sleep guidance for 0-5 month olds, 6mo-2yrs and 2-5 yrs. One of the main points of the book is that the stuff we used to do to get our babies to sleep ie: nursing, rocking, etc aren’t necessary for older babies. They can self soothe they just need to learn how. I was nursing June to sleep every night and putting her to bed out cold, and then she would wake up later in the night in a place much different from where she went to bed. I imagine that would be disorienting for a little one. Anyway, let me know if you try to book and want to commiserate or you can call me anytime if you want more info about what you actually do. We’ve been using the methods in the book for about a week and I’ve already seen progress.

    I’m sorry to hear about the impetigo. That had to be so scary!

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  4. My husband and I are in two different camps on the non sleep thing. He advocates cry it out. Mostly because one of the doctors we saw said she did that with all her kids and they slept through the night at 3 months. She sounds like a real asshole to me. Said she was too busy to deal with a crying baby…
    When I’m alone (hubs travels a lot for work) and K cries I usually pick him up and let him cuddle on me while I get on Facebook on my phone or watch tv until he finally falls asleep. I let him sleep for 15-20 min until he is really out and then put him in the crib.
    But when the husband is home we do cry it out. Sometimes I have to hide in my office because it breaks my heart to hear him cry.
    I am most likely sabotaging all his efforts but I have less cry time and more snuggle time so screw it.
    There have been times when I think I’m the one crying it out though… Lol
    I have only resorted to cry it out a couple times on my own but I understand sometimes it is necessary if they aren’t even happy in your lap.

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    1. I know… The cry it out is still so so hard. And so far it’s only been a couple times when I just kind of gave up on trying to get Nora to sleep. The doctor who advised me to cry it out seemed a bit heartless to me as well, said something about she needed to work and didn’t have time to put her kids to bed. Must be a doctor thing…

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