I made it to 11 weeks, and 3 days, to be exact. Last week was rough… I had a TERRIBLE cold/sinus infection, which just made me feel even more terrible than I have been lately. I literally laid on the floor and tended to Nora, counting the minutes until Eric got home from work. Only problem with that, I never knew when that time would be until it arrived. It’s quite the awful feeling to need someone to relieve you, but yet not knowing if that person can today, or tomorrow…
Anyway, I’m feeling much better. I felt nauseous a few times yesterday, but so far today I haven’t felt sick at all. Granted, I’m still taking the Unisom and B6, so that could be masking it all.
(Totally off the subject, but I’m at Panera writing this, and I swear to you, the girl sitting next to me smells like a gerbil. You know, that awful pet store smell?? I might have to move seats!)
I have lots of random things to share/discuss, so don’t say I didn’t warn you, this post could be enlightening for some, and a drag for others.
Nora’s IgG – STILL waiting on that level. Why you ask? Well, we went last week. Did I already complain about this on here, I can’t remember? Anyway, they wouldn’t follow the order of a heel stick, claiming they had to basically start an IV to get enough blood from her. It was dramatic and tragic and of course she screamed, and I wanted to as well. The doctor called me Friday. The lab ran the wrong test. Yes, I shit you not, it was all for nothing. So back this morning we went, and it was just as bad. They followed orders this time, a heel stick, but claimed they needed twice as much blood as I happen to know they need. So they stick her heel twice and her big toe once to get enough. It took 20 minutes of them squeezing the life out of her foot, and her screaming, of course. I give up people. I hope the level is good, although I fear it will still be low. Last I talked with the doctor, they still want to wait on live vaccines, as even though her antibodies levels other than IgG are in the normal range, they are in the low-normal range, so waiting is better I guess.
New Therapist – I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much I hate living here in Cedar Falls… Lots of pent-up emotions over not choosing this location, feeling like I had little say, etc. Moving was stressful, Nora’s health issues still wear on me, and now another pregnancy to worry about…. I guess I figured it couldn’t hurt to share/vent some of these issues with someone trained to help me manage it all. I made an appointment with a woman who specializes in postpartum depression, although I’m not sure that’s what I have. My first appointment with her was last Tuesday, and she was super nice. We didn’t accomplish much, you know, the first visit is all getting to know each other… in other words, rehashing the past. She asked me to come to my next appointment, which is next week I believe, with one goal I’d like to accomplish through therapy. Um… What the hell is that supposed to be? To worry less? To be satisfied more? To communicate better with Eric? My list goes on and on, but frankly I’m a little leery, how is me talking to someone two hours a month going to accomplish all that??? And oh, the kicker to it all, after May she is only seeing patients at a location 90 minutes from me. Great, another thing not in this city.
Cleaning Ladies – I know, 1st world problems, right? But hear me out. I hate cleaning, and I’ve loved having people come once a week and clean for me. It’s glorious, really. And honestly, if you have any way to add it to your budget, I highly recommend it, for your own sanity. All that said, I think the company I’ve been working with needs to go. Only problem, not a lot of choices here, which is really the ONLY reason I’ve kept them as long as I have. My list of complaints with them is long, but mainly that they just don’t clean well, which is the entire purpose of them! I think I’ve mentioned in the past that several of the girls smell of cigarettes, which really bothers me… Most have ‘meth mouth’ and yes, I shouldn’t judge, but sorry, I am. I give these people a key to my home. I expect a certain level of professionalism, and lately, they have been lacking, big time. When I first hired them the agreement was Wednesday mornings at 9am. Well, they got in the habit of emailing me Tuesday the time they planned to arrive the following day. Which I guess was okay. But lately, they don’t show up during that window. And it’s super annoying! Last week the email said between 11am and noon they would arrive. They showed up at 10:15am, just as I had laid Nora down for a nap and planned to jump in the shower. No, it gets better. So I tell them, I’m gonna shower, baby is in her room, can you start with the downstairs today… When I got out of the shower one of the cleaning ladies was rocking Nora. Who goes and just gets the baby? Now granted, I do sort of know these women, I’ve been seeing them weekly for months now, but still. They are there to clean, not to rock my baby!!! Maybe I’ll try putting an ad on care.com and see if I can find an individual who would be better… I hate starting all over with someone though.
Still Exhausted – I feel like, for not working outside the home, all I do is run all over town. Today for example. Kona needed to go to playcare, which is Mondays and Fridays, so I ran her there on the way to Nora’s blood draw. The drive from home to playcare is 20 minutes. After the blood draw we drove home, another 25 minutes. Then later this afternoon I have to pick up Kona, 20 minutes each way again. I know, it doesn’t sound like much, but such a waste of time and miles. And taking Nora with me is a pain, as I obviously have to get her in and out of the car. As much as I like Kona getting the attention and exercise twice a week, I might need to ditch it soon.
Feeding Nora – I know, she’s technically not one yet, so we’re still focusing on formula since she started refuses my breast milk, but June 1st, her due date, is quickly approaching. Am I really supposed to stop formula at a year and have her exist on solids and whole milk? She still won’t take a sippy cup with water, so I doubt she would drink whole milk from one. And she is not big on most solids I’ve offered her. Yogurt is our go to, she will almost always eat that, but otherwise, she’s tough. Mac and cheese she did eat some of the other night, and bagels and cream cheese she seems to like, but not much else, well, besides puffs and yogurt melts. At dinner we give her whatever we are having, but she didn’t even seem interested in french fries on Sunday. I gave her a piece of apple to try the other day, she bit off pieces but spit them out, which is what she does with most things. I feel like I’m constantly worrying if she is hungry, or thinking about what else I can try with her. So much wasted food though. My fall back is still bottles, but I fear the day when I’m not supposed to give her those anymore. Then what?
Daycare – My regular sitters will all be leaving for summer at the end of April. I’ll have no help in May. I know, I don’t work. But I do have several appointments already scheduled… Is it worth it to search care.com for help during May? Starting June my favorite girl will be back for the summer and I think she is going to watch Nora two days a week. I’m really going to try to schedule all my appointments on those two days, and make time to see out-of-town friends those days too. You all better hold me to that! I hate the thought of interviewing more people to watch Nora though… It’s stressful and how do you know who is really good? I normally use first impression, well, and background checks, but I know that isn’t always foolproof.
Don’t Let Me Go by Catherine Ryan Hyde – I’m currently reading this, well, listening to it on my audible app. It’s kind of dragging! Has anyone read this?? I was told it was good, but gosh, it needs to get on with the story before I lose interest. Pass along and good book recommendations!