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Giving up?

I’m on the verge of giving up breastfeeding Nadia… I’ve been trying so hard to keep dairy out of my diet. 

I went to a friend’s home tonight while Eric watched the girls. Some of my pumped milk must have had some dairy in it, as Nadia is really upset again. 

It breaks my heart to watch her cry. As a mom I want to do what is best for her, but I’m so confused regarding what is best. I know formula isn’t bad, but I think our NICU got into my head… If you don’t breastfeed they feed donor milk, which gives me the impression they are against formula. I think that’s where my fear of formula is coming from…  But how can I keep giving her my milk when it makes her so miserable?

16 thoughts on “Giving up?

  1. Oreos are dairy free! Coconut bliss ice cream and cocomels coconut caramels are great for satisfying a sweet tooth. Also, anything that is vegan is dairy free, so googling things like “vegan Starbucks” will give good ideas. I have a milk allergy (and a few others) and the good news about milk is that it is a top 8 allergen and therefore does have to clearly be declared on ingredient lists. Unfortunately, eating/drinking anything that you cannot see an ingredient list for is always risky due to a lack of knowledge and/or concern from those some who work in the food industry. Hang in there, you will make the right decision for her, whatever that may be, because you are her mommy and you know her best!

    1. Thank you! I need to post an update on our decisions and how Nadia is doing now. As soon as I find the time!

  2. From what I understand (I’m not a doctor, take it as you will) is that preemies benefit from breast milk (and NICU staff may obsess over it) because it has been shown to prevent some cases of necrotizing enterocolitis in the early days/weeks (i.e. still in the NICU) when they are most at risk. Beyond that, the benefits are modest at best and often overstated. If Nadia is struggling on breast milk, but does well on formula, than you’re not giving up. You’re making a change that works for both of you.
    And, as my mother kept reminding me when I obsessed over switching to all formula: If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy 😉

    1. Oh so true! I think my biggest concern about feeding a preemie formula is that it doesn’t provide the immune properties that breastmilk does, and that preemies who missed the 3rd trimester lack. But… You’re so right that momma and baby need to be happy. And less stressed would be nice too!

  3. Do what is best for you and Nadia! If BF is causing both of you grieve, there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving her formula. We gave our twins and our new baby Hipp formula, from Germany, and its very close to breastmilk if you are looking for a good formula. Holle is another great one from Europe!

    1. I looked at both of those formulas you mentioned, and they look amazing compared to what is sold in the US. I’lol post an update soon on what we’re feeding now and how Nadia is doing.

  4. So there is definitely research that shows that human milk is better for preemies, which is why NICUs use it exclusively. However, Nadia is not in the nicu anymore and now you get to do the research and use your experience and judgement to decide what is best for her (and you)

    1. I think I’m just scared that what I think is best for her causes me too much stress, giving up dairy.

  5. That us the exact reason I gave up and started Oliver on formula. He was miserable and pitiful. I felt guilty for making the choice, but I felt guilty not making the choice too.

  6. For preemies in NICU, breast milk is definitely best since formula increases risk of NEC. Would talk with her pedi but at this age if there’s a hypoallergenic formula she tolerates that should be fine.

  7. Sending hugs. I know the pressure to breastfeed is huge but it’s okay if you decide to be done. I don’t know if what you’re looking for is permission (sometimes we just need someone else to tell us it will be okay) but if that’s what you need, then I’m here to tell you it’s going to be okay. Nadia will be just fine. Breastmilk is very hyped up and while it’s the “perfect” milk for the child, it’s not the miraculous liquid some have made it out to be. Also, I like this article because as IVF moms, it makes so much sense

    1. I do feel so much pressure to give Nadia breastmilk… I know plenty of people have told me it’s okay to give Nadia formula. I think ultimately I’m just so scared to make decisions for her that I feel like could change outcomes down the road…

  8. Don’t feel bad giving her formula! If it makes her not fussy and a happy baby then great! Because it’ll make you a happy not stressed out momma! I fed my first born formula and she is completely normal and healthy. No problems. Don’t feel bad at all. Hugs!! The fact of the matter is that you tried and now you need to be okay with feeding her formula. There is nothing wrong with that!

    1. You’re so right, but getting to feeling okay about feeding formula is where I’m still struggling.

  9. I’m at a loss for anything helpful to say but wanted to offer my support and say I am sorry this is so torturous for both of you. Has Nadia had the dairy free formula and been comfortable and able to sleep afterward?

    1. Yes, completely dairy free seems to be what she needs. I’ll post an update soon!

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