I should probably password protect this bitch-fest about my mother-in-law (MIL), but honestly, what does it matter at this point? Is it really any secret I hate her?
I’m still waiting to get in with a therapist to discuss the situation, so in the meantime I’ve been writing online with a therapist through betterhelp.com. I actually used the service a few years ago. I suppose it’s similar to speaking with someone in person, you just type back and forth instead.
Basically I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere with the MIL issues relating to the baptism and other special occasions. Eric keeps stating, but she’s my mom, meaning there is no question as to whether or not she will attend. In his mind, she is his mother and therefore that means she is invited. And then there is me saying no way in hell will I allow anyone, family or not, to treat my family and I like shit and then expect to spend holidays or special occasions with us.
I’ve tried to compromise with Eric as the therapist recommended. I told him that if the baptism is so important to him and her, which I can’t believe it is since it wasn’t their idea, nor do they attend or associate with any religion, then his mother could attend the actual baptism at the church, but that’s all. I had thought we would get together after at our home to celebrate, and it is that party which she is not welcome. She is not welcome in my home. Too personal. She lost those rights during the Christmas fiasco. I do not wish to speak directly with her, I will keep my distance from her at the church.
Well, of course, Eric wasn’t accepting of my compromise. Basically it doesn’t seem he’s willing to compromise at all, as he just keeps saying, she is invited, she will be there.
If I didn’t do anything wrong, why am I the only one being asked to bend, change, and accommodate? I know what some of you are thinking, that I need to be more mature, that God would want me to forgive her. Well F that, I’m mature enough to know when having a relationship with someone is unhealthy. My MIL causes me more stress and anxiety than anyone I know, and she has since the day I met her eight years ago. For once I’m putting myself first. I refuse to alter my life, my plans, or spend my holidays and special occasions with someone who can’t even respect her own son, much less her daughter-in-law and grandchildren.
Now the hard part though… Finding a way to make Eric realize I’m not asking him to abandon her. He can see her, and take the girls to see her whenever he wants. As long as the girls are never left alone with her. But I do not wish to see her. Not now. Not yet. I’m not sure when. If ever. Too many hours of my life have already been spent agonizing over this situation. I’m over it. It must end. I want to be excited and happy to plan the baptisms and Nadia’s first birthday. I’m not allowing my MIL to ruin another special occasion. It breaks my heart that we never officially celebrated Nora’s second birthday with family. All because of the issue with my MIL. That ends today.