House Hunting

Tomorrow I’m meeting my cousin who is a Realtor in the Cedar Rapids area to look at a few houses. I’m excited, but nervous too. I hate being in Cedar Falls, but the idea of being further from Eric the weeks he’s on call is a little terrifying too. Like tonight, he left to drive to Ft. Dodge a bit ago. If he was leaving from Cedar Rapids he might have wanted to get on the road sooner, and would be home later tomorrow evening. Ugh. I wish someone could tell me what to do, or I could see the future.

In preparation for tomorrow I’m trying to make a list of things I dislike about our current home… things I want to make sure are different in the next house we purchase.

  • I do like a somewhat open floor plan, but our current home is basically one huge room for our kitchen, dining, and living room. It’s very difficult to arrange furniture. And since Nora can always see the kitchen and eating area, she constantly wants to eat, then wants to get down and play. This repeats every ten minute the entire freaking day.
  • Our current kitchen pantry is basically a tall cabinet. It sucks. We need more space!
  • Same goes for our laundry room, which is really a hallway which is also our mud room. Way too cramped. 
  • It’s a pain in the butt walking through our entire house with groceries as the garage is on the opposite side as the kitchen. 
  • Currently the girl’s bedrooms share a wall with the kitchen. Horrible, as after they go to bed I tend to clean up and do dishes, and they can hear it all. And entertaining with the girls sleeping is out of the question.
  • We have a fairly good sized finished basement, but it’s not a walkout, which I really want in the next house, both to make letting Kona outside easier, and for playing outside with the girls. Our deck off the kitchen has a ton of stairs down to the yard, so it’s hard for Nora to walk down them alone.
  • I really need a neighborhood with sidewalks, a place for the girls to ride bikes, or even just take them for walks. There are empty lots on both sides of our current home, thus our sidewalk doesn’t connect to anything. It’s annoying as I don’t really want Nora playing in the street, even though it’s not busy. 

Am I asking for too much?

Oh, forgot to share… Last Wednesday at Nadia’s speech therapy appointment the therapist suggested stopping our sessions for the time being. Nadia does nothing but cry during the sessions, although I blame this on them wanting to take her back alone. And technically she is making a lot more sounds and says mama and dada, so they are thinking it would be okay to hold off on more therapy for now. They said to contact them in maybe four months and we can have another evaluation to see how she is doing at that point. I’m thrilled to knock off one therapy session a week. Hopefully she progresses well with us helping her at home over the next few months.

And then there is Nora. Eric is so hard on her sometimes. I feel like he expects so much out of her, considering she’s only 30 months. Should she be counting by now? Eric works with her constantly, and she knows a lot, but counting is something she gets stuck on. I have no idea why, but when she counts she says 1, 2, 6. She refuses to say 3. And it drives Eric up the wall. Like he actually gets mad at her. Maybe I’m too easy on her, but I let it go. I correct her, but I don’t hold it against her. I guess I feel like at some point it will click with her. Right?

Although, more another time, I’m exhausted and need to be up early to shower and get ready before the girls wake. Good night!

6 thoughts on “House Hunting

  1. Mine are 27 months and can count but they definitely do the ‘1,2,5,9’ thing sometimes. I think he’s being too hard on her!! Glad you don’t have to continue Nadia’s therapy sessions! That sounds like it was torture for her!


  2. June went through a period where she consistently forgot the number three as well. We made a point of counting after she finished: one, two, THREE, four, five, etc. I don’t know if it made a difference, but yes, she eventually remembered three. She can count, but getting her to actually point to items and count each item is a different story. She knows if there are one or two things. Beyond that, it hasn’t clicked. Hopefully reminding Eric that she’s 30 months old and she will learn to count will help to ease some of the tension.


  3. Speaking as an Asian who grew up with tiger parents, and who knows a lot people with Asian tiger parents: Eric needs to talk to a therapist to understand why he gets angry when his 2-year-old doesn’t count linearly, and he needs to talk to a child psychologist to explain the damage he is likely doing to Nora when he gets angry/frustrated/annoyed with her for not doing (or not being able to do) things he wants her to do. This is not snark, nor condemnation nor criticism, but merely a statement about likelihoods. I know a lot of brilliant people (my crowd speaks disparagingly of Harvard and its ilk, and it’s not sour grapes–we know wtf we’re talking about), and I don’t know a single one who isn’t fairly well screwed up b/c their parents (Asian or not) drove them to perform according to some pre- (and usually ill-) conceived expectation, instead of letting them develop much more naturally. I’ve spent a lot of time with my own therapist, and a separate child therapist, trying to map out what I should and shouldn’t do with my children, b/c my own instincts are so screwed up. (E.g., I can no longer watch my children do puzzles b/c I get so frustrated when they forget the idea of edge and corner pieces. It seems so obvious and simple, but it’s just not where they’re at. And me getting twitchy and snappy sure doesn’t help them feel comfortable learning. As a parent, it’s important to be clear-eyed about when you need to *go away* b/c you’re not at a place where you can be not hurtful.)

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