Happy Friday!

How is the week over already??? Today is my last day with Eric, kid-free, until the end of the month. He has tomorrow off too, which should be a good, relaxing at home, family day. Sunday he is taking our oldest, Nora, out-of-town to a baptism and then that evening he leaves for Ft. Dodge to start his week with clinic there Monday. He’s commuting this week and then on-call the following, so my time with him will be very limited again for two weeks. I’m a but bitter he’s traveling out-of-town with Nora Sunday to a family baptism… I don’t think he actually wants to go to the baptism, or even feels he has the time to go, being he’ll get home and have to leave right away again. It’s more he feels a need to show up at family events. I think what he fails to remember though, is that all the others at the baptism are teachers who have their weekends free… Oh how life would be different if Eric’s schedule was M-F 8-5. No, I’m not saying teacher life is easy, or even that all teachers have nice hours, but I happen to know how his cousins’ spend their weekends, thanks to many Facebook posts.

Most of this week with Eric has been spent at coffee shops, as he’s studying for his oral boards he’ll take in February, I think. Which means in three weeks when he’s off work again, he’ll be studying, again. I’ve been coming to coffee shops with him, in between mom’s clubs get-togethers, mainly so we can still spend time together despite his constant nose in the book, highlighter in hand. We’ve been dropping off and picking up the girls from daycare together. I wonder if they wonder what the heck it is we do??

Speaking of daycare, I’ve noticed a lot of teachers are out with influenza. I was browsing Facebook this morning and came across a post with people arguing about how the flu shot causes the flu and is otherwise unsafe. Da people. Just da. If you don’t believe in vaccinations or the flu shot you might as well just stop following my blog now. Fine, don’t get the flu shot or vaccinations, get sick and die. Survival of the fittest I guess… You realize people are dying from the flu, right? Don’t even bother commenting, let’s not argue. Just stop reading my posts. I don’t want to argue. Rather, spend your time doing actual, peer-reviewed research on the safety and necessity of vaccinations and flu shots. End rant.

6 thoughts on “Happy Friday!

  1. Just a suggestion… Have you considered writing an entry about what your ideal life would look like? I think you may find many of the answers you’re looking for in that entry.

    Also, are these items that stress you things you truly want to do? The path of a stay at home is that you have primary responsibilities of the children and home, yet you’re outsourcing these responsibilities. Why is that? Sure no one lives to do laundry and other chores, but that comes with the territory.

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    1. As far as why we outsource… well, to be completely honest, we can afford it, so why not? I dislike household chores, so having someone else do them is nice.
      I don’t think I was ever meant to be a sahm. I’m not sure how long you’ve been reading but I originally quit working when the NICU told us to keep Nora away from others for her first year of life. And then again when Nadia was also born premature. And then with our move, well, I haven’t gone back to work yet, although have been pondering the idea… I’d love to own a coffee shop, but scared of the investment and failure rates of small business.

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  2. OneHappyBaby, as a working mom I am ticked off by your input on what “stay home mom” ought to be. It boggles my mind that as women we assign labels and stereotypes images to what a particular choice in motherhood should look like. We are all doing it the best we can. Why and how does stay home mom translates into “must be a cook/cleaner/nanny” to kids and etc? Why can’t stay home mom be “I have a cook, cleaner, nanny, so when my kids come home I am well rested, and I am available to them emotionally?”

    Let’s be real, finances and personal believes play big role in our choices. Personally if I had the extra income, I would have hired live in help long time ago, and I would happily run around with my kids doing fun things full of energy instead of being depleted by cooking, cleaning and laundry and running on empty and being challenged to keep my temper in check because I am depleted!

    Stefanie, I read your blog on regular basis. What I gathered is that you are very very very tired. You had years of fighting with fertility issues, then you had NICU babies, while dealing with husband who has very demanding job. All that takes toll. And yes other ppl have it worse. I have friends who have NICU baby with lasting consequences and very demanding toddler with tons of debt, and one income. But you know what, we each have our own stories, and you gotta be OK with having it easier than other parents, while also having it harder than other parents.

    My sense is that you want regular help, but you feel judged for staying home, and having help, and therefore you work very hard on yourself to do better and you are also very hard on yourself for these choices. My advice to you is don’t do this to yourself. There is absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing wrong with hiring help if you have the means and that helps you to be a better mom to your girls, even if you are staying home.

    There are two aspects to being a parent, there is work (cooking, cleaning, laundry) and then there is a relationship, which has nothing to do with the work part. If anything, the work depletes your energy for being available for relationship. You are blessed with the finances, use them to help yourself. Don’t let societal pressure, spoken or otherwise to get to you.

    Yes, money don’t buy happiness. But used wisely and responsibility they will buy and ensure you peace in your everyday life and allow you to have the space to relax and enjoy the motherhood.

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    1. Thank you for your comments. You are right that I feel guilty often, and that I struggle to ask for more help… Those are deep rooted issues I’m working through… You are also right that we are all doing the best we can as moms. Often I just feel like I should be doing better. Parenting is hard. Really hard. Hopefully I’m learning as I go 🙂

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