I need some perspective. And yes I realize everyone’s home-life, schedule, etc. is unique, but I’d like some perspective on mine. Ya know, either tell me I’m crazy and need to relax and let Eric see his friends more. Or tell me Eric needs to buck up and accept that his career already takes too much of his time, and that any time off needs to be spent with us… Of course my feeling on the matter is that Eric chose a career which requires he work 90+ hours a week, therefore he gave up free time, especially when he decided to marry and have kids. But I realize I’m a little biased 😉
As you know, Eric is on-call every third week, meaning he lives 45 minutes away every third week. Another week he commutes, so leaves early in the morning and is home after the girls go to bed. So no help with parenting those nights either. Then he also has every third week off. His schedule is a rotation of these three repeating weeks.
Also as you know we have daycare. The girls are there roughly six hours a day, during which time I clean, buy groceries, run other errands, shower, do laundry, make dinner, do house repairs, etc. Eric doesn’t really do anything to care for our home. If I can’t do it, it’s hired out, such as lawn care and snow removal.
Eric cancelled his trip to Las Vegas for this coming weekend, meaning he should be home sometime this afternoon to start his vacation week, although its 1pm and I know he’s still at his office 45 minutes away working on patient notes.
Last night Eric texted me that he wanted to meet two of his partners out tonight for dinner and drinks. He technically did ask. And I technically said okay, but I’m annoyed. Tonight is Eric’s first night home after a week of working out-of-town and already he is planning on being gone again. I happen to know he had a fancy dinner out with his partners Tuesday night for a ‘business meeting’. When is my fancy dinner out??
So I ask…
- How do other couple’s plan fun time? Either together, or on their own with friends?
- Do you have an agreed upon use of free-time, like requiring it be spent together as a family?
- Any suggestions for how I can learn to not be so annoyed and jealous of his fun time?
- Is it ridiculous of me to want what little free-time Eric has to be spent with me and the girls?
- How can we balance family time and Eric’s need for time with his friends when time is so limited?