I finally heard back from the surrogacy agency in Chicago that works with our fertility clinic. I quickly glanced over the information they sent, which is really basic at this point, but I noticed their pay structure is pretty much completely opposite of the first agency I contacted. The first place lists out all the fees, like an a la carte menu of fees. And they pay the surrogate throughout the pregnancy, I think she gets so much of her base ‘salary’ each trimester. The agency in Chicago lumps the fees together as one fee and the surrogate is paid the entire amount before the embryo transfer even takes place. Of course, there are additional payments made to her later, like extra money for a c-section, an allowance for maternity clothing, etc. I’m honestly not sure how either of these pay structures would alter the total spent, or if it matters, since I assume we would use the agency that works with our clinic.
I’m not sure how I feel about any of this, yet, being all I’ve really determined are costs… So of course I’m already feeling, what’s the word… taken doesn’t seem quite right. Ripped off isn’t right either. I don’t know, it’s hard to know that a woman gets paid quite a bit of money whether she carries a baby to term or if the embryo doesn’t even implant. Yes, I know she is growing my child for me. But with money mentioned first… this feels very much like a job she is applying for… Or at least that’s how these fee sheets portray it. And if that’s true, what incentive does any surrogate have to get through the pregnancy? I know, the goodness of their heart, but they technically get paid a salary, which makes me feel like most? some? will view it as a job…
I’m sorry, this post was not meant to be so negative, just already feeling like this process is aimed to benefit the surrogate, but not necessarily the ‘intended parents’ as they are referred to… Which also bothers me. Intended gives the impression, well, that it could turn out to be them, or maybe someone else! Like, why use the word intended?? I’m the parent of this embryo, whether this pregnancy progresses or not, why not call us the parents?
I think I forgot to mention, I need to schedule a telephone consult with the agency as the next step.
Okay, rant over, for now.