Surrogacy Consult

I spoke with Robin at Advanced Reproductive Resources (ARR) this morning… and I think I’m even more confused now… She explained the entire program in 55 minutes, I couldn’t even take notes fast enough! Of course she would have re-explained anything I needed clarification on, but at this point, I don’t even really know what to ask.

One of the first things she mentioned… was to plan for this to cost $130,000. I assume she was saying this to prepare me, and not to scare me. She suggested some financing options, although honestly I think we are fine in this area. Probably the only area I’m not worried about… which I realize is huge. This will just give me more energy and time to freak out about every other thing.

Robin obviously has been in this business awhile, she seemed very prepared, although somewhat rushed. Perhaps she had a million other clients to speak with today as well… I got the impression the clinic is somewhat small in regards to number of employees, although maybe there are lots who work behind the scenes who were not introduced to me today.

We did discuss using a surrogate we know, perhaps my friend… That would drop the agency fees from $39,000 to $8,000 and we could decide the compensation amount and schedule of payment to the surrogate rather than use their set plan. They would still manage the agreement, which would be very, very helpful. Honestly though, I don’t know… How would I know what to pay a personal surrogate? And while 31k savings is a chunk of money, if that is the only savings… is it worth it to pick your surrogate, and possibly ruin a friendship?

After I got off the phone this morning with ARR I called and left a message for the women who handles surrogacy with our fertility clinic. I want to get more information from her… Is it worth having another consult with them about me carrying the embryo…? I don’t know. The idea of another NICU stay terrifies me. What’s better though, the scary you know, or the scary you don’t know…?

3 thoughts on “Surrogacy Consult

  1. Sounds very overwhelming! Just wanted to make sure you got the contact information I sent you for my friend (I think it was via a FB Message) who did a surrogacy with a friend of a friend. She might have some good insight about what you heard yesterday!

  2. Omg NO! You got so lucky with the girls but the NICU is a dangerous and sad place for a baby–you have all the power to prevent that so why wouldn’t you?! I’d 110% gamble on ruining a friendship before I’d gamble with my baby’s life. Plus you can’t be there for the girls on bedrest and at the NICU–it’s sad for them too. It’s stressful for everyone. I’d offer to compensate your friend well with whatever money you’d save with the agency and just be really honest about how you feel and what you need from her. I know the process is intimidating but I’m sure it would be worth it! XOXO

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.