Halfway through our second week of daycare… I’m shocked at how much I can accomplish when the girls aren’t here. Even when we had sitters during the day with me home, I never got much done, as the girls knew I was home and would whine and cry for me. Honestly, the past two weeks are pretty much my first times being alone at home. I forgot what it’s like!

That said, I certainly have a mix of emotions. While it’s super nice to actually get to unpack some boxes… I feel super guilty being home while someone else is caring for them. The first couple days Nora was really excited to go. Then last Thursday and Friday I kept her home as she wasn’t feeling well. I feel like we are starting all over, only this time she understands I’m leaving her and cries. And of course Nadia screams whennever I’m not holding her, so of course she screams when I leave her at daycare. Breaks my heart. But this is good for them, right? I mean, I wanted them to have more interactions with kids their age. And yes, I expected us to get sick from germs, since we have been somewhat shielded from all that thus far. And boy are we sick. Icky runny noses, lots of congestion, bad coughs. But I guess it was either get sick now or when Nora started school.

I’m not sure how to get over the guilt of taking them to daycare. Maybe once the house is unpacked and I figure out working and a schedule for me I’ll feel better about it all, more settled. Maybe the girls won’t always cry when I drop them off. Will they? Maybe starting daycare so soon after moving was a bad idea. Too much change all at once for the girls?

My biggest issue with daycare is the fact that they don’t nap well there. And thus they are MOODY when they get home. I’m guessing any of you who have kids in daycare are very familiar with this, right? And I don’t mean they are a little moody. I mean they basically just scream and cry and throw themselves on the floor and on me. It makes what little time I do have with them horrible for them and me. This week Eric has been home and him and I have been trying to get as much done on the house as possible together, so the girls have been at daycare from maybe 8:30am until 4:30pm. When it’s just me and he’s working I’ll pick them up earlier, but will that help? We eat dinner and then they go straight to bed. Nadia hardly even wants dinner, just a bottle and falls asleep. Right when we got home tonight and I was making dinner and they were both freaking out I was thinking, what the hell am I doing wrong?? Anyone have a good suggestion for me… Will they learn to nap better at daycare over time? They each nap maybe 45 mins there, which certainly isn’t enough.

Tomorrow is MOPs back in Cedar Falls, and I really, really want to go. But since I’m still so sick I feel like I should stay home to rest and keep my germs to myself…

Long Week

I’ve never been so happy it’s Friday! And happy that Eric will finally be home later this afternoon!

This week was hard, even with some daycare time. Nora ended up going Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Nadia was there just Tuesday and Wednesday. Yesterday (Thursday) was horrible as they were both cranky, had icky runny noses, and awful coughs. Nora had a fever, but low-grade. Today they both seem in better moods, although their noses and coughs are still gross. I’m hoping Nadia doesn’t need to see our pediatrician… A few times with her cough she has acted like she couldn’t quite breath right away after. I know, I’m that paranoid preemie mom. Our pediatrician is 45 minutes away though, another things on my to do list, find one here.

I’m slowly getting boxes unpacked, but very slowly. I didn’t really get anything done while the girls were home yesterday or today. A little laundry this morning, does that count?? I’ve had a heck of a time with getting house ‘stuff’ set up. Mediacom for our internet was here three times, although with an electrician, and now today Dish Network was back, as Mediacom messed up their connection. Oh, and the Dish guy put the satellite on the front corner of the house, and the developer called me to bitch, told me to have it moved. It needed to be moved anyway as I didn’t want it in the front, but ugh. On that same call with the developer he also told me I need to have part of our fence in the back ripped out which was just installed Wednesday. Ugh. I swear I read the association by-laws. And my realtor agrees with me… The by-laws state the fence needs to come off the back corner of the house, meaning, not the front. Okay, well, on our garage side it comes off the back of the garage, apparently the garage, although attached, doesn’t count as part of the house. So waiting for that to be ripped out and redone. Only money, right? Like what else?? I partly blame Eric. I feel like a lot of this house stuff is more his area of expertise. But of course he isn’t available to help. I even had to figure out the property lines myself, something I also know nothing about! I guess I’m learning!

I hear Nadia… Way too short of a nap for her!



Am I the only one who cancels at the last minute??

Tomorrow is MOPs back up in Cedar Falls. I promised my table of ladies I’d come. And I want to see them. But it’s an hour drive, starts at 9am. I know, not that early. And I have daycare. But I think both the girls feel crappy. Icky runny noses and coughs. I feel like I should skip my chance to see adults and cuddle with them tomorrow instead. They are my first priority. 

And then Friday. Both the girls have therapy appointments in Cedar Falls. Neither are fond of car rides.  I so want to cancel so I don’t have to deal with the travel. I know I need to arrange therapy here, I just haven’t gotten to it yet…

I got quite a bit done today though, unpacked I mean. But I felt terribly guilty I was home when the girls were at daycare…

And our fence was installed today! So much easier for Kona!!


First days are over! Nora started yesterday and Nadia today. Nora loves it and even asked if she could go back to school tomorrow. I’m not sure about Nadia yet. She screamed when I left this morning, and as soon as she saw me when I came to pick her up. But they claim she didn’t cry all day and even napped, on a cot! And Nora napped on her cot today too!

I know I’ve mentioned it before, Nora still crying for a bottle… So this is all new to me, but Nadia seems to have decided she does not want any more bottles. She pushes them away during the day, and only took an ounce before bed tonight. Last night she did wake up around 11pm and did take maybe 4 oz, but otherwise she’s not interested. I’ve been offering her whole milk in her straw cup, but she makes a funny face at it. And at water. But she sucks down the apple juice. Ugh. I assume this self-weaning is normal? If only Nora would decide she is finished with bottles. Maybe I just throw them away and demand we be done with them!

Both the girls have runny noses and a bit of a cough here and there. Nothing serious so they are both going to daycare tomorrow. Sorry, school. They prefer we call it school. Tomorrow we are getting our backyard fenced and they want to do a walk-around with me of the yard at 7:30am. That will be fun. Do I leave the girls in the house to battle it out? Nadia will surely win, normally going straight for Nora’s hair.

I shouldn’t complain, being I don’t work outside the home, but mornings feel hectic. I’ve been trying to leave the house around 8am so the girls get to school around 8:30. I’m pretty sure morning snack for both is at 9am, so I prefer they be there for that, in case they didn’t eat enough of whatever I dreamed up for their breakfast. Nora isn’t a great breakfast eater as it is. Anyway, it just feels like a lot to get myself up and showered and ready, and both girls up and dressed and fed and hair done, etc. I know all of you do this, but actually leaving the house with both of them in the morning feels overwhelming to me. Having someone come to our home was so much easier. They stayed in PJs and could still be sleeping when the nanny arrived!

Thursday I want to go to MOPs back in Cedar Falls, so I’ll need to drop the girls off at school around 8am. Ugh. I’ve been getting up at 5:45am as it is, as Nadia wakes at 6am and REFUSES to let me do anything without holding her, or she SCREAMS, which in turn wakes Nora. Thus it takes me five times as long to do anything, like even dry my hair! Have you tried holding a toddler while you blow-dry your hair? It’s fun.

And Friday Eric comes back and has the following seven days off. Thank God! He left Sunday afternoon, and I swear to God, parenting alone is no joke. I seriously don’t know how single parents do this. And I have a ton of resources. I can’t imagine working full-time with no help.

Okay… off to bed, as I’m exhausted. More tomorrow maybe…

So Many Changes

I have no idea where to even start with updates… so much has changed… so much is new. I’m tired. I should be sleeping. But my brain won’t seem to shut off. Here are a few updates… more soon.

  • We are moved. The essentials have been unpacked. Except for my shoes. I need to find my shoes. It’s cold and I’m still wearing flip-flops. Nothing major was damaged, thank God. I do feel a little out of sorts as I have to go to the garage to get dressed… Our dresser wouldn’t fit through the hall/doorway of our bedroom. Apparently it’s one long piece of wood and can’t be taken apart. It was suggested we cut off the feet to get it in, and then somehow get them back on. Do people do that???
  • The girls had doctor’s appointments this past Monday.
    • Nora’s was her 2 1/2 year well-child exam. She is still only at 25 lbs., but 32.25 inches tall, so very thin. We continue to be concerned about her weight, but technically she is following her curve, as she’s always been small. The pediatrician is convinced Nora’s eating is more about control for her, meaning she knows that if she doesn’t eat she gets attention, or to snuggle with a bottle for her Pediasure. I don’t know… Maybe. She does tend to eat well in feeding therapy. I am curious to see how she eats at daycare. More on that soon. Nora did need another vaccination, a hepatitis A, and boy has she been cranky since getting it. Have you other momma’s noticed cranky children for days after shots?? I don’t really remember it in the past. 
    • Nadia’s appointment was only supposed to be a nurse visit for her flu shot. But it turned into a bit more. See… when I’m really stressed I always seem to get a cold sore. Well, last Wednesday and Thursday Nadia had been running a low-grade fever, was extra fussy, wasn’t sleeping well, etc.. I assumed teething. Friday, while I’m waiting for the moving truck to arrive I look down at Nadia and notice two cold sores on the corner of my mouth. I called the doctor and they said as long as she is eating and drinking she should be okay, as they will heal on their own. So Monday before they gave her flu shot I asked the doctor if it was okay to give it being she’d had a fever… The doctor looked in her mouth and found many more sores. Total mom fail. I never thought to look in her mouth. And I feel horribly guilty for getting her sick… And who knows when she can start daycare, not until these sores are healed!

Okay, more tomorrow, or the next day. Too tired…

Last Night

It’s our last night sleeping in this house…  Well, for the girls and me anyway. As I rocked Nadia to sleep I got a little sad. Lots of good memories here. I walked around and looked at the empty walls and random boxes sitting here and there.  Change is always hard for me. And as much as I want this move, I can’t deny it scares me. I’m worried Nora won’t understand… I know in a few weeks when we’re a little settled I’ll feel a lot better… but the next several days to weeks is going to be hard for me. Eric leaves Sunday evening for his regularly scheduled overnight in Ft Dodge for his clinic there Monday. I hope the girls beds are at least set-up by then! 

Wish us luck tomorrow! 


Final walk-through and closing on our new home in Hiawatha were this morning. House looked great and closing was super fast and painless thanks to a good friend of mine serving as our mortgage loan expert. After the closing Eric and I grabbed lunch at a cute little restaurant, picked up mailbox keys at the post office, and then unloaded a few breakables we had packed in our vehicles. The house is super nice and I’m so excited to be back closer to family and friends, but I’m also terribly overwhelmed. We have so much left to pack before the movers arrive Friday morning. I also have a list a mile long of other ‘stuff’ that needs to be done. Like having a fence put up in the backyard, preferably before winter, adding a water softener, window treatments, and oh yeah, unpacking! It’s all the little stuff that feels like a lot when it’s all added together. Tomorrow Eric and I plan to pack all day, but we also have the girls with no sitter. And you know how that goes. And it keeps occurring to me how much stuff we have to leave here for Eric to survive, or just buy new. It’s stressful having two fully functioning homes I’m realizing. Above all though, I hope the girls, and the dog, adjust well. Nora seemed sad and confused when I was packing up her room. I tried to explain the concept of moving to her, but I don’t think she really understood. Our favorite sitter/nanny is coming to our new home on Friday to help with the girls…Thank God!

Late this afternoon Eric and I met again with our lawyer to finalize our wills. Talk about depressing. I guess it’s the realization that we truly don’t live forever. That this world goes on once we are gone. I don’t want to imagine someone else raising my girls though. Even thinking about this makes me sad again. Anyway, I guess it’s comforting to know the girls would be taken care of financially if we both pass. I know they would be loved and well-cared for by the guardians we picked. I just hope it never comes to passing their care off to someone else. Oh, and I asked about others contesting our guardian choices… Our lawyer said they would have to prove the guardians are unfit. 

Okay, heading to bed. I was up really early this morning and it felt like a long day. Oh, did I mention my INCREDIBLY dry eyes? Like for the past several months. I’m to the point where I can’t even wear contacts anymore. And I hate glasses. My eye doctor recommended a prescription eye drop… I’m waiting for that to be called in. I surely hope it helps!! Could this just be allergies? I’ve never had any issues with my eyes ever before…