I’ve kept no secret of my struggle with (postpartum) depression over the years. I’ve been on several different medications but most recently have been taking Zoloft, 50mg a day.
Several months ago my general practitioner in Cedar Falls suggested I increase my Zoloft dose to 100mg a day, as I’d still been feeling a bit down, very overwhelmed with caring for the girls so much alone, and possibly experiencing what I think is anxiety most days. I tried 100mg for several weeks but honestly felt much more anxious, so dropped back down to 50mg. A few weeks ago I decided maybe it was time I see a doctor who specializes in depression and anxiety medications, at least to re-evaluate what I’m taking.
Yesterday I met with a psychiatrist here in Cedar Rapids. He was very nice and very open to helping me find a medication that would make me feel happy and ‘normal’ instead of ‘coping with life’ as I had described to him my current state. I wouldn’t say I’m unhappy, but I certainly still deal with depression some days and more recently lots of anxiety. My doctor assured me there is something out there to make me feel a bit better.
I started taking Viibryd yesterday. I have to slowly lower my dose of Zoloft while slowly increasing my Viibryd dose to 20mg a day. And it could take a month to really notice any changes, but I’m excited. Honestly, a part of me still hates to rely on medication to feel okay, but another part of me really wants to feel happy and a bit calmer. I’ll keep you updated on how I feel, and if anyone else is on this medication and willing to share insight, I’d love to hear from you, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m told Viibryd doesn’t really have any side-effects… so here’s hoping its the miracle drug it’s made out to be!
The title says it all… I don’t even remember when I updated last on Nadia’s illness.
Friday afternoon we were back at the doctor for another scheduled ear check. Yes, Tuesday was the only day last week we weren’t at the doctor. Thank God we have good insurance. Anyway, Friday they looked in her ears and she still had fluid, which prompted them to really, really encourage a third injection of the antibiotic Rocephin. Back up though, about an hour before our appointment on Friday I noticed a rash over most of Nadia’s body, actually everywhere except her lower legs. They had three doctors at the clinic examine her for multiple opinions, and all thought it was probably a reaction to the injections… but… since that was the worst of it, meaning she wasn’t having any breathing issues, they believed the benefits of another shot still outweighed the chance of the rash continuing. Ugh. So yes, we did a third shot. Seriously broke my heart to see her hurting so much.
So it’s Sunday night. Nadia does seems a lot happier now, even slept through the night last night. Her rash seems to be going away little by little, but she must still be itchy and a bit uncomfortable from it, as she’s scratching like crazy. The diarrhea though… it continues, and has now since Wednesday morning. At our appointment Friday they sent home a kit to collect a stool sample to test for C Diff. Apparently MedLabs has awful hours around here… so I’ll be collecting our sample tomorrow morning and dropping it off when they open. Hence, still no daycare for Nadia tomorrow. The diarrhea is awful, but what’s even worse is her terribly, terribly sore bottom. I’ve tried every concoction suggested to me, but it doesn’t seem to be getting much better. I assume we need to get rid of the diarrhea first and then hopefully the skin on her bottom can heal.
In other news… Eric is home! But… he’s still working… Patient notes, and studying for boards. This constant wanting his help with the girls, but either not getting it, or getting it but feeling like I’m pulling him away from work is really getting old. He leaves Thursday for Dallas for his test, but he’s made it clear he needs to study non-stop until then. Even though he’s been studying for months. I can’t tell you how ready I am for this exam to be over! I really hope once his oral boards are over we have a lot more time together and with the girls. This working non-stop is truly no way to live.
I’m looking through recipes again, attempting to dream up something for dinner… What about Ham Balls in BBQ Sauce? My girls have liked meat balls in the past. Which I know doesn’t guarantee anything! I’ll definitely have a box of processed potatoes or noodles on hand as a backup!
On another topic… I should know better than to attempt to educate, or perhaps the correct word is argue, with ignorant people. I’m so sick of people saying the flu shot is bad. Or that big pharma is killing us. Seriously people. Have you ever needed an antibiotic? If you don’t believe in what you call big pharma then don’t you dare go to the doctor when you’re sick. You stay home and suffer and God forbid you die! Nora is alive today because of very strong antibiotics that killed meningitis in her tiny, premature body. Kids are dying, yes dying, from the flu, even today. Get the damn flu shot. The problem with the general pubic doing their own research is that they often don’t know where to look, by no fault of their own… Or they don’t have access to the peer-reviewed research. My blood boils just thinking about this. So yes, I had to un-friend another acquaintance on Facebook for their ignorance, and that of their friends. Life is too short. I just can’t. Vaccinating and getting the flu shot isn’t just for your own safety, but for those with weakened immune systems. Nora for example. So f you for thinking you know better than the thousands of doctors who went to school for 25+ years and work their asses off to save you. Don’t ask Facebook for medical advice. Ask your doctor. If you don’t have a doctor you trust and respect, find one.
Still sick… this feels rather never-ending. And OMG why is the Theraflu Hot Liquid so disgusting? I made the nighttime ‘tea’ last night before bed. It’s seriously tasted like they just crushed up all the medicine, threw in a little lemon and called it tea. Exactly what advantage does it have over taking a pill, that I can’t taste??? Never again. Oh, and it made me jittery all night, so horrible sleep.
I took Nadia back to the doctor earlier this week as she was still not acting like herself, very fussy and had a fever of 101.6ºF even though she was still on the antibiotic from the ear infection they discovered last week. They re-checked her ears and thought the infection still hadn’t cleared. Ugh. (Eric thinks its viral and therefore the antibiotic won’t help anyway, but…) The doctor also tested her for influenza, which thankfully was negative. But she did test positive for Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV), which I’m familiar with, and Human Metapneumovirus, whatever the heck that is. I assume not deadly since we weren’t given any special precautions other than to watch her breathing closely due to her prematurity. I thought the risk was only for premature babies still babies… not toddlers. Shows how much I know. Nora still has a bad cold, but no fever. Yet. God help me.
Eric surprised me last night by arriving home very late. But home! But… he already left again, as his flight for Dallas was this morning. At least he got to see the girls this morning though, which was so nice. Nora and Nadia were very happy to see him. He gets home Sunday afternoon around 1pm I think, so only two more bed times alone!!!
I was supposed to do laundry today… but instead I went through the piles and piles of paperwork covering our kitchen table. Everyone has such a mess, right? Just say yes.