A party, cardiology, gestational carriers, and open houses

Our weekend was full! Saturday my mom watched the girls while Eric and I traveled back to Iowa City for an overnight. One of his partners hosted a party at his home Saturday evening. It was fun, nice to get away for a night! The party was primarily physicians, which always makes me feel a little out-of-place. Most of the couples are both physicians, most both surgeons. And yes, I know I had a great career before I quit to raise the girls, but no one else knows that… I have little to talk about when all of them are going on and on about their busy, prospering careers. Education is everything to these people, and while I do have an MBA, I think sometimes to them a masters is like a high school diploma.

Sunday we slept in, well, sort of, since I was awake most of the night listening to Eric snore… Something has to give with him disrupting my sleep! After brunch at his partner’s home we stopped at Costco to pick up a few household necessities and then toured two open houses in Cedar Rapids. I liked them both, but was certainly more drawn to the home on Wexford Way. Either are huge steps up from anything currently available in Cedar Falls. In fact, I’d move into either of these tomorrow if I could! Eric liked the one on Diamondback Road better, but mostly because it’s an easier, quicker drive to the hospital, as it’s closer to the interstate. Being so though means it’s also not as nicely situated in an established neighborhood, which is on my list if must-haves in a home.

Diamondback Road

Wexford Way

Obviously looking at these houses both excites and terrifies me. I’m so unhappy in Cedar Falls and have been since we moved here over two years ago now, but moving again, and being alone a lot more with the girls with Eric commuting feels a bit overwhelming. There is obviously no perfect solution, short of Eric working in a city that offers more for me and the girls. But since he loves his partners and the practice they have built, I don’t see him wanting to move anytime soon. I wish I knew the answer to all this…

This week Eric is on vacation again, part of his every third week off. He took Nadia to her cardiology appointment in Iowa City today so I could stay home and review everything with the new/old nanny who started today.

Nadia’s appointment went well, we can finally stop her heart medication and see how she does. And follow-up not for a few months! Closer to crossing another specialty group off our list!

The new/old sitter is a girl who watched Nora two years ago when we first moved here. I actually didn’t realize she was still in town, as she is now working on her masters in speech pathology. How perfect given Nadia’s issues. I think she’ll be good. And who knows how long we’ll even have her if we’re getting more serious about moving. But you know how I like to make plans and then not follow through.

Speaking of plans… Eric and I have been talking more and more about our frozen embryo. I think we’re both of the opinion that if we’re having a third child, we need to do it sooner rather than later. We’d prefer to have all the mess of littles now, and be done with diapers. I also know Eric really wants to travel more, and that’s so difficult with little ones. One of the physicians at the party is a reproductive endocrinologist in Davenport, her husband a Urologist there. I spoke to her quite a bit at the party about the process of using a gestational carrier. She made it sound so easy, but I know it isn’t. I guess I just need to seek out an agency to help us, or somehow find someone I know who would allow me to use their uterus for a bit! My other option is going back to my high risk OB at the University and discussing whether me carrying our embryo is an option. So much fear and risk. We’ll see, more on this topic to come.

High-Risk OB Appointment Tomorrow

My high-risk OB appointment in Iowa City is tomorrow.  Yeah, tomorrow.  Eric has a full day of surgeries scheduled, so of course he isn’t available.  He’s rarely available, and never on short notice.  Eric actually called to see if they could see me this Friday instead, as he has Friday off, but my regular OB called back and strongly encouraged me to make Monday’s appointment work.  She said the sooner we talk cerclage, the sooner it can be placed, preferably next week.  If I wait until Friday to be seen the procedure wouldn’t be scheduled until I was 17 or possibly closer to 18 weeks, which she isn’t comfortable with.

I feel like this whole situation is more serious than I originally thought.  I mean, if my regular OB wants me seen tomorrow, we aren’t wasting any time!  How do I not feel like a ticking time-bomb?  I was buying groceries a few days ago, with Nora, and I lifted her, in her infant car seat, into our vehicle, which is kind of high, and thought, this is like lifting 25 lbs almost above my head, this probably isn’t good for me!  But what do I know!  They technically didn’t give me any restrictions except no strenuous exercise.  So we’ll see.  Eric isn’t going tomorrow, so I’m nervous, not sure what questions to ask…

Off the subject, had to share a cute picture of Nora and me from yesterday 🙂

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October 12, 2015 – 30 Weeks (19 Weeks Corrected)

So much to say, so little time! First though, 30 week picture, and of course, more smiles!

30 weeks

Nora isn’t sitting alone yet but she’s doing a lot better with a little help.  And she has started pulling her knees up during tummy time.  I feel like she might be crawling before she is sitting.  Next Thursday is her next high-risk appointment at the University.  I’m anxious to see if they think she’s on track developmentally.  Next Thursday we also meet with her immunology team and I have several questions for them.  I want to know more about Synagis, an injection for high risk children which aims to prevent RSV.  For some reason though, I think it’s live and therefore isn’t something she can have just yet due to her compromised immune system.  I’m so anxious for her doctors to clear her for live vaccines, as she still isn’t allowed the MMR vaccine either.  And damn those people who choose not to vaccinate their children.  Do they have any idea what I would give to make sure Nora never contracts such an illness??  Her immune team will also give Nora her second dose of the flu shot on Thursday, so at least she’ll have some protection this winter.

I was looking back at Nora’s pictures, some of the first ones taken shortly after her birth in March.  I’m still in aw of how far she has come.  I weighted Nora a few days ago and she was up to 12 lbs. 9 oz.  Crazy that she has gained 10 lbs. since she was born!  I feel so truly blessed to have such a happy, healthy daughter.

I feel like life is finally settling down, Cedar Falls is starting to feel like our home.  I have five different girls that I trust to watch Nora and they come here and there throughout the week so I can get out and feel like I have a life.  We’re trying to start limiting Nora’s time in public with it getting colder and flu season approaching.  We are taking her to a family wedding this weekend… I so hope we don’t regret it.  I’m still attending MOPs on Thursday morning and very much enjoying getting to know the other moms.  I can definitely picture a few of them becoming quite good friends.

Eric has asked me twice now when we are having another little Nora.  Shocking isn’t it, since he was the one who originally thought we had years and years before we needing to start thinking about kids!  He is so stinking cute with Nora though, it’s no wonder he wants another already!  We have one frozen embryo, but honestly, I’m fearful of transferring that one, scared that it won’t implant and thus we’ll be back to square one.  A huge part of me would rather do another egg retrieval first, as the quality of the eggs are influenced by the age of the woman at the time they are retrieved.  So basically the sooner the better, even if they aren’t transferred for several years yet.  The thought of starting all over is very overwhelming though.  And adding to that the worry the thought of having another premature baby.  My OB/GYN is 90% sure I’d deliver early again based on my history and the reason for Nora’s early birth.  I don’t know what precautions they would take this time, if any.  Maybe bed rest, although it’s not proven to work…  How would I survive bed rest with Nora?  How do families handle it with a baby in the NICU and others at home?  I can’t even imagine.  And maybe I’m getting completely ahead of myself.  I just know I want more children.  But how…  We have considered seeking out a gestational carrier, but that process seems more overwhelming than another round of IVF.  And probably even more expensive.

Alright, off to pick up some items for this weekend out-of-town.  Side note, I keep complaining to Eric that my car is too small being Nora’s stroller fills the trunk.  Maybe this weekend he will finally realize we do need a larger vehicle!

 

A year ago today

A year ago today my beautiful, precious, amazing Nora was conceived, as she was one of 12 eggs retrieved.  My post from a year ago, A Dozen, and some thoughts and feelings from a year ago tomorrow, Feeling Better.

It’s a bit surreal to me to read these two posts, to remember back to a year ago.  My life is so different now.  I’m so different.  I can hardly even remember back to the days before Nora, before I was pregnant, before I stopped working to spend my days in the NICU with Nora…  I used to think a year was an eternity, but now I know better.  Nora is almost 6 months old already, and while I wished away our NICU days, I’m trying to remind myself to cherish each day now, to relax, not rush so much, to enjoy the journey.

Looking back, the hardest part of IVF was the not knowing.  If I’d just had more faith in the process, if I’d just believed it could work for us, oh how much happier I could have been a year ago.  But as they say, hindsight is 20/20, live and learn…