Wedding Anniversary

Eric and I celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary this past Saturday, May 19th. Apparently the same day as the royal wedding, although I watched not a single minute of coverage, nor have I seen any pictures from it. I don’t usually get all that into celebrities…

Eric and I celebrated beginning Friday with a trip down to our ceremony and reception site for lunch, Riverside Casino and Golf Resort. They are in the process of remodeling, and I was surprised to find that some of my favorite spots looked very different, places where some of our wedding photos were taken. Here are a few of my favorites… Look how we’ve aged!!!

I can’t believe it’s been six years! And that we have two kids! And have moved three times together already! We’ve done a lot!

Saturday evening my mom watched the girls while Eric and I had dinner at Cobble Hill and then went to see the movie, Book Club. It was cute, but Eric might have been a little bored. He was a good sport though!

Apparently the traditional gift for a couples 6th anniversary is iron. Eric, being his funny self… got me an iron and golf clubs! He gave me the receipts this morning 🙂 We had actually agreed not to do gifts, so it was cute he made an effort, even if he knew they would be returned, and we got a good laugh out of it!

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The Love Dare – Day 3

Recap of Day 2

  • What discoveries about love did you make today?
    • Those with which we’re closest tend to take the brunt of our unkindness… I know this might sound a bit absurd, but isn’t it true? I’m closest to my husband, Eric, but yet, he is also the one who hears my daily complaints, frustrations, and worse! He’s there, physically and emotionally, when I need to vent, and often my words are harsh. The one who I so dearly love, is often the one who doesn’t get my best self, doesn’t get my best love, doesn’t get shown the kindness he deserves.
  • What specifically did you do in this dare? How did you show kindness?
    • Since I’m not doing these dares on a daily schedule as the book suggests, I’ve done many acts of kindness over the course of the past week… While Eric has been studying for boards I’ve made a point to let him sleep a bit longer each morning, I’ve refrained from waking him to help with the girls overnight, I’ve put both girls to bed so he can study a bit longer, and I’ve prepared dinner each evening. All little ways of trying to make this time a littler easier for him by showing kindness.
  • How can you make this a daily habit?
    • Perhaps just by being aware, reminding myself that Eric’s career is not a M-F 8-5 job. That it requires so much more of his time and energy.

Day 3 Love Dare

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The Love Dare – Day 2

Recap of Day 1

  • Did anything happen today to cause anger toward your mate?
    • Ha! I’m not sure about the rest of you, but living with someone who is rarely home while you’re trying to raise a one year-old and two year-old together is obviously going to result in some friction! I’m not sure any was real anger though, perhaps more along the lines of small frustrations, like why does he always have to close the dishwasher when the racks are still out???
  • Were you tempted to think disapproving thoughts and to let them come out in words?
    • Unfortunately, yes. Negative comments often spew from my lips, out before I even realize what I’ve said. I’m not sure I can say I mastered day one, but if anything, this dare certainly made me more aware of my negative comments to Eric. And aware of our faults is perhaps the first step toward correcting them. I hope.

Day 2 Love Dare

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The Love Dare – Day 1

Anyone familiar with the book, The Love Dare, by Stephen and Alex Kendrick? A girl from one my MOPs tables mentioned it recently and asked if any of us ladies were interested in reading the book and sharing thoughts with her. I purchased the Kindle version and read the first few pages last night in bed before I fell asleep. My understanding is it’s meant to be done over the course of 40 days, a dare each day, I think. Well, this is never gonna work for me, as I don’t see Eric everyday… In fact, I won’t see him until Friday, and it’s only Monday. Ugh.

The dare for day 1 is below… Patience and positive communication only. I did see Eric this morning, very, very briefly, before he left for work for the week. And I already failed at this dare, as I bitched at him for his CONSTANT movement in bed. Seriously, he moves the entire freaking night and it results in crap sleep for me. So yeah… I guess I need to work on eliminating my negative comments. Ultimately I don’t plan to do this in 40 days, but rather at my own pace depending on how often I see Eric. Wish me luck! Oh, and patience!

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5th Anniversary

May 19th was our 5th wedding anniversary. And I have to say, as much as I complain about Eric (who doesn’t complain about their spouse daily from time to time?) he really does spoil me. Our wedding ceremony and reception was held at Riverside Casino & Golf Resort in Riverside, Iowa, and thus, Eric planned a little get-a-way for us there this past weekend so we could reminisce. We had a sitter planned for the day on Friday, and then my mom came to watch the girls Friday evening and overnight until we got back Saturday afternoon.

We arrived at the casino around noon, grabbed a quick bite to eat at their buffet and then Eric had planned a relaxing afternoon for me at the spa. And it was heavenly. I’m not a huge spa person, in fact I think this was only my second experience ever in life…  I was lucky enough to experience the Aqua Body Polish which is a full body exfoliation and refinement using natural minerals and sea salts followed by the application of custom blended hydrating lotion, leaving your skin soft and polished. Whatever oils they used smelled so good! Then I finished the afternoon with a 60 minute massage which was just as nice! I originally thought I would feel a little awkward, but I didn’t. The girl who performed both my treatments was very nice and explained everything.

After the spa we checked into our room and relaxed a bit before I showered and got pretty for dinner. Eric loves to gamble, so we hit a few table games before our 7pm reservation at Ruthie’s, the steakhouse inside the casino. We both had steaks and all the fixings, even dessert. And I have to say, we were both overly stuffed. I guess there is a reason we rarely order dessert.

After dinner we relaxed in our room for a bit, attempting to digest, and then Eric went back to the casino to gamble. And I went to sleep. And it was glorious! Five years ago I probably would have seen going to bed early as a waste of an evening out. But nope, now I see it as glorious! No baby monitor, no children waking me up! Ten straight hours of sleep! I didn’t even hear Eric come back to our room when he was out of money 🙂

I honestly can’t believe our wedding was five years ago… Five years used to seem like a lifetime, but the years have flown. We have been through so much together. Never did I dream that we’d have two children, both born very early… Those months in the NICU truly tested me and Eric, and with the death of Eric’s father shortly after Nadia’s birth, well, I’m surprised we didn’t fall apart. And moving, Eric finishing residency and starting a new practice… So much stress. Maybe I don’t give us enough credit. The hard times have made us so much stronger as individuals and as a couple. You think you know someone so well on your wedding day… but for us, that was so far from the truth. I continue to learn about and from Eric every single day. I’m so thankful for him, for our girls, and the life we continue to build together. I can’t wait to see what the next five years have in store for us!FullSizeRender 16

June 23, 2015 – 3m7d (22 Days Corrected)

I’m guessing someday I will look back on my life right now and think how easy I had it…  I’ll admit though, this doesn’t feel easy.

Last Friday evening was Eric’s residency graduation dinner at a local country club.  Yes, I finally decided on a dress, the one I felt most comfortable in, and it just so happens it matched Nora’s dress for the evening as well 🙂

The dinner was nice, felt a bit surreal to actually be celebrating the end of residency though, being Eric’s was six years and we met the first week.  Residency life is all I know with Eric, I’m both anxious and excited to see what’s next for us.

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We did end up taking Nora to the dinner, as both my parent’s and Eric’s attended the celebration.  My mom was sweet enough to watch Nora during dinner so I could socialize.  So very thankful she was there to help!

So with just a week of residency remaining, Eric’s schedule has been even more horrendous than usual.  I guess not surprising…  Regardless though, as the months and weeks pass I find myself more annoyed with Eric, and not just his schedule.  I assume it’s just me feeling like I have so much more on my plate now with Nora.  I think Eric and I need to come to some agreement, an understanding of who does what within our household.  Right now I get the impression that since he is working full-time and I am not (outside the home) he expects me to handle everything.  And granted, it was like this before Nora was born, but now I’m having a difficult time doing everything.  I feel like a single mom but with the responsibilities of several children, as Eric can’t even find the time to pick up his own dry cleaning.  And I get he works 90+ hours a week, but still…  A part of me feels like his priorities are a bit misaligned.  It’s quite hard for me to step back and look at our situation from an outsiders perspective.  Like, maybe I am expecting too much of him, or am I?

Perfect example…  Eric was in New Orleans last week from Wednesday-Sunday.  His days were filled with lectures, as he was there for a board review course, but he and his colleagues ate out every evening and then found bars to shut down.  I get it wasn’t a true vacation for him, but there was certainly time for him to relax and have fun.  Then, last Thursday evening there was a get together at a restaurant/bar related to graduation, he got home that night after midnight.  Then the dinner Friday night, he went out after with everyone until late again and I took Nora home.  And now he just texted me that some people are getting together for drinks tonight after work as well.  Keep in mind Saturday was spent with his parents and then Sunday he sat in front of his computer all day working, so even though he was technically off, he truly wasn’t available to spend quality time with me or Nora.

While Eric is attending all of these events, the house is slowly falling apart.  We have a toilet that has needed fixing for several weeks, a couple of issues with lighting that need an electrician, my car has been acting funny and finally forced us to take it in yesterday…   And we already hire all the lawn care or our grass would be 10 feet high!  Eric is constantly telling me he has no time to help with anything at home…  But he has time to go out with friends quite often.  Should I be more understanding?  Since Nora came home from the NICU he has been alone with her once, for maybe two hours while I ran to Target.  Otherwise, I’ve been with her.  And I get that I quit my full-time job, but I guess I didn’t think that meant he still gets to find time in his schedule for fun, but I don’t.  How do other families handle this?  I’m just not sure what to expect, or how to get Eric to understand I can’t do it all, that his life needs to change too now that Nora is here…

I suppose I should get back to my list of chores as the laundry isn’t going to do itself.  And I still haven’t picked paint colors for the new house!