I’m guessing someday I will look back on my life right now and think how easy I had it… I’ll admit though, this doesn’t feel easy.
Last Friday evening was Eric’s residency graduation dinner at a local country club. Yes, I finally decided on a dress, the one I felt most comfortable in, and it just so happens it matched Nora’s dress for the evening as well 🙂
The dinner was nice, felt a bit surreal to actually be celebrating the end of residency though, being Eric’s was six years and we met the first week. Residency life is all I know with Eric, I’m both anxious and excited to see what’s next for us.
We did end up taking Nora to the dinner, as both my parent’s and Eric’s attended the celebration. My mom was sweet enough to watch Nora during dinner so I could socialize. So very thankful she was there to help!
So with just a week of residency remaining, Eric’s schedule has been even more horrendous than usual. I guess not surprising… Regardless though, as the months and weeks pass I find myself more annoyed with Eric, and not just his schedule. I assume it’s just me feeling like I have so much more on my plate now with Nora. I think Eric and I need to come to some agreement, an understanding of who does what within our household. Right now I get the impression that since he is working full-time and I am not (outside the home) he expects me to handle everything. And granted, it was like this before Nora was born, but now I’m having a difficult time doing everything. I feel like a single mom but with the responsibilities of several children, as Eric can’t even find the time to pick up his own dry cleaning. And I get he works 90+ hours a week, but still… A part of me feels like his priorities are a bit misaligned. It’s quite hard for me to step back and look at our situation from an outsiders perspective. Like, maybe I am expecting too much of him, or am I?
Perfect example… Eric was in New Orleans last week from Wednesday-Sunday. His days were filled with lectures, as he was there for a board review course, but he and his colleagues ate out every evening and then found bars to shut down. I get it wasn’t a true vacation for him, but there was certainly time for him to relax and have fun. Then, last Thursday evening there was a get together at a restaurant/bar related to graduation, he got home that night after midnight. Then the dinner Friday night, he went out after with everyone until late again and I took Nora home. And now he just texted me that some people are getting together for drinks tonight after work as well. Keep in mind Saturday was spent with his parents and then Sunday he sat in front of his computer all day working, so even though he was technically off, he truly wasn’t available to spend quality time with me or Nora.
While Eric is attending all of these events, the house is slowly falling apart. We have a toilet that has needed fixing for several weeks, a couple of issues with lighting that need an electrician, my car has been acting funny and finally forced us to take it in yesterday… And we already hire all the lawn care or our grass would be 10 feet high! Eric is constantly telling me he has no time to help with anything at home… But he has time to go out with friends quite often. Should I be more understanding? Since Nora came home from the NICU he has been alone with her once, for maybe two hours while I ran to Target. Otherwise, I’ve been with her. And I get that I quit my full-time job, but I guess I didn’t think that meant he still gets to find time in his schedule for fun, but I don’t. How do other families handle this? I’m just not sure what to expect, or how to get Eric to understand I can’t do it all, that his life needs to change too now that Nora is here…
I suppose I should get back to my list of chores as the laundry isn’t going to do itself. And I still haven’t picked paint colors for the new house!