According to my phone, it’s Sunday. Feels like a Tuesday or Friday. Everyday feels similar lately. The weekends don’t stand out, being Eric works most of them, this one included.
The only reason I’m writing is because both girls are napping, at the same time, which happens about once a month lately, so I needed to take advantage. I’m convinced Nadia’s heart medication is what messes with her sleep, basically eliminating her daytime naps… We are weaning her off it, so the naps are becoming a bit more regular, but still far from anything I’d consider normal for a child her age.
I didn’t have a sitter this past week. Don’t even get me started. I know, it was a holiday, so I expected her to take some time off, but I thought I was at least going to have her Friday and then she texted me Thursday that they were staying out-of-town through the weekend. I feel like that’s the issue with someone coming to your home, or taking your kids to their home… The dependability just isn’t there, it just doesn’t compare to a center. And while yes, I am a stay-at-home mom, I have a ton of crap planned, mostly doctors appointments for the girls multiple times a week now, and some outings for me as well, and it’s hard to rearrange everything at the last-minute. I feel like I’m that person, who is always cancelling appointments and rescheduling. And August is even a bigger mess with a sitter, as the one I love isn’t available as much as I thought, although she will be back in town for the school year. It’s probably time to place another ad on care.com and start the process of finding a sitter all over again. Even the idea terrifies me.
Which brings me to opening my own daycare center… Still in the research phase. Looking more into Goddard currently, although I’m scared it’s a bit too upscale for this area. My research so far is pointing to our previous city being a better fit. Of course. Of course! The same things I hate about this city are still biting me in the butt! There are definitely enough people here on wait-lists wanting childcare… I’m just not yet convinced there are enough families with enough disposable income to spend well above average for such a service. Granted, they would getting more than just childcare, but it’s getting families to want that, and pay for that, and see the value in it, which might be the issue here.
No word from the sellers of the house we made an offer on… A little part of me thought they might come back to us by now, but nothing yet. I do know they are having an open house today though.
I should be napping… I’m exhausted. I got our little pool out for Nora again this morning. It wears her out and thus she takes a good nap, but it wears me out too! It’s a ton of work to get it out, blow it up, with the pump thing, find all the pool toys, fill it with water, get her in a swim diaper and suit, find a blanket for Nadia and I to sit on, carry each of them down the 10 steep stairs into our backyard, slather them both with sunscreen, then make 17 more trips up and down the stairs for everything else I forgot, then bring everything in an hour later, remove wet suits and wash, re-clothe them in dry clothing and real diapers, drain the pool, blah blah blah. You get the idea. It’s so much work! Why are kids so much work?? I mean, I think I’m a pretty well-adjusted adult with lots of resources. How do younger moms with no help and fewer resources handle this?? And then I was taking Nadia’s infant carrier car seat and rock-n-play into the basement for storage and thought, we have way too much baby stuff not to have another kid. OMG, but it’s so much work!
Do I try to do too much at once? While all the pool stuff was going on, I was also doing laundry and general cleanup of the house. Still doing laundry. I’m still in my swimsuit, as no time to take that off. Just grabbing lunch for myself now… I miss work, where I felt like I was able to focus, and actually finish tasks. I still believe Eric thinks staying with the girls is easy, and maybe in some ways it is easier than working outside the home. But then how come I never seem to actually accomplish anything? Like making dinner while watching the girls… It feels impossible! Maybe Eric should try watching the girls in his operating room while he’s performing surgery. Yes! He should have to get them snacks, turn on the next “Daniel Tiger” episode, change their diapers, etc. And no help from the OR nurses or scrub techs either! That is how this feels to me. Like I’m doing several jobs as once. It’s so draining, and frustrating.