Mother’s Day Recap

I won’t go on and on about this… as its beginning to feel like a broken record, but I will update and say I did not go with Eric to his mother’s home on the Saturday before Mother’s Day, and neither did the girls. He went alone and the girls and I hung out at home. It was a little boring for me, as the girls only carry on a conversation to a certain extent, bit it was way less stressful and anxiety-ridden than my day would have been had I gone with Eric to see his family. Eric was home by 7pm that evening, so in time to help me with bedtime, which was a huge help. I have no idea what he told his family as to why I wasn’t present… I hope he told the trust, that his mother has alienated me and still has not made things right. More likely though he told them I was sick or that it was too far in the car for the girls in one day.

On Mother’s Day the four of us had dinner out with my mom and step-father, and my sister and her husband and two children. It was nice to get together and chat, catch up, although eating out on busy days makes me nervous. The restaurant we picked was absolutely packed, and although we didn’t have to wait long, as we called ahead, it was still crowded and close corners with kids. Nora was surprisingly good, but Nadia was sick of sitting in one place long before our food arrived! I have lots of cute pictures of the girls from that day, but I realized later I didn’t take a single picture with my mother or sister 😦

Daycare helped the girls make some very sweet gifts for me from each of the girls, and Eric gave me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and pictures of the girls which spells LOVE. Very sweet of him! It was a very special day!

 

Nora – 38 Months

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Nora never ceases to amaze me! She’s sweet and cuddling with me one minute, whining the next, and then throwing a tantrum five minutes later. I blame her age. Three year-olds are tough! Nora hates be woken in the morning… she’s especially moody if she doesn’t wake naturally… Daycare/school drop-offs are still a little tough but definitely getting better. She pretty much just whines now, her teacher, Coya, will pick her up, tickle her, Nora waves to me, and then is happy and playing five minutes later, per pictures I’ve been sent. Today she skipped to her room although was whining when I left. Yesterday she skipped to her room and happily sat down to paint once we arrived.

Potty training, well, it’s coming along. We alternate between pull-ups and underwear during the day, but still definitely do pull-ups at night, and she wakes very wet. For the most part she stays dry in underwear at school, but has lots of accidents at home. Maybe our routine is off here? She will gladly use the potty at school every two hours on their schedule, but at home she really, really fights me. Most of the time when I tell her to run in and go she refuses and cries. Thus at home it’s mostly pull-ups, as I tell her if she won’t sit on the potty, she can’t wear underwear. And let’s not even talk about poop. She refuses to poop at school and has gone in underwear more than I want to admit at home. Yuck. I’m trying not to push potty training, like if she cries to go at home I don’t make her. Or should I?

Nora is still a very picky eater. Mostly carbs go into her mouth, and I can’t blame her, carbs are yummy! She loves noodles with parmesan cheese, bacon, sometimes scrambled eggs, Special K Strawberry Breakfast Crisps, ‘fruit’ snacks, apples, and we still do chocolate Pediasure before bed, although finally out of a straw cup instead of a bottle! I hate it has a lot of sugar, but I swear it’s what is keeping her alive, and it does have some vitamins.

Nora is really good about staying in her toddler bed. I think she only got out of her bed once now since March when we converted her crib. I still use a baby monitor with her. The other night we had a big storm which scared her. I went in to comfort her as she was crying, I’m not sure if she would have stayed in bed that night or not. Our bedtime routine though is getting more and more painful for me, especially when I’m here alone with the girls. I read books with both girls, but separately. Nora likes me to crawl into her bed and cuddle for a bit, and then she wants to talk awhile with me in there too. Sometimes she will play the ‘I’m hungry’ or ‘I’m thirsty’ card. She’s getting more and more clever.

I often look at Nora and can’t really believe how big she is, although she’s still only 27 lbs 😉 She speaks extremely well, basically carries on complete conversations with us, well, to an extent. Our conversations usually involve her daytime activities at school, who she played with on the playground, her overnight dreams, what type of snack she wants, what show she would like on her iPad, you get the idea. But still, I’m amazed at some of the things she says and remembers. Her cute little voice gets me every time, even when she’s being a little stinker!

I’ll update about Mother’s Day soon, when I find the time! Eric is off this week so we’ve been trying to do some things around the house, and of course he insists we eat out for lunch each day, which takes a ton of time and really breaks up the day. He’s meeting with a personal trainer now and then I think we are going to a movie this afternoon before we pick up the girls. Our 6th wedding anniversary is tomorrow and I think my mom is watching the girls for us tomorrow night, hopefully a fancy dinner out!

Happy Friday!

Mother’s Day Weekend

I made no plans for the weekend… I like lazy weekends. Eric has been gone for the past week, so I’m worn out from handling the kids and house and dog and whatever else alone. I know there are lots of brunches in town, could go to one of those…

Yesterday Eric texted me asking if it was okay if he takes the girls to his mom’s house Saturday (tomorrow). Not technically Mother’s Day, but close enough according to me. Apparently his aunt and uncle from England are in the states visiting. They will be here for a month. Why they planned a bbq tomorrow is beyond me. I assume my lovely MIL had something to do with the plans… since it’s at her home. The home of the Christmas fiasco where we were thrown out. Where I haven’t been back to since. Where I don’t want to go Mother’s Day weekend. She has yet to make an effort to make me feel welcome there… and I still have no desire to see her. And it’s more than just her mental breakdown, swearing, throwing furniture, it being a repeated activity… She’s not a positive influence on my girls. Honestly, I can’t think of one good thing she brings to their life. Other then she’s Eric’s mother. Ugh.

So do I let him take the girls tomorrow? Do I go along? I’d love to see Eric’s brother and wife and daughters, but at the expense of being at his moms house… I don’t know. It will be a very small gathering, so unlikely I could completely ignore his mother.

My mom keeps asking me why I can’t just get over it and move on… I guess because there was no resolution. No real apology. No plans to change behavior going forward since Eric grew up experiencing these outbursts. Probably why he overlooks it so easily. It’s common to him, more normal. But not to me. I’d like to see her seek help, therapy perhaps, medication, something. I could go on and on with the reasons she’s a bad influence on my girls…

I’m so confused. I don’t know what is the right thing to do. Eric understands my feelings and said he would go alone or would take the girls, whatever I want. But I don’t like any of those options. I hate feeling like she purposely planned a gathering this weekend to force her sons to choose, knowing both have to travel. It’s about 3 hours each way in the car for us, as we stop at least once with kids. That’s a lot of driving for one day with little ones. And I’m not willing to stay over and spend Mother’s Day in the car driving home. If I don’t go though, it’s more time alone, or alone with the girls, when I’m been alone with them for the past week. Part of me wants Eric to tell his mom no… that his aunt and uncle will be here for a month, we could see them another weekend, but we don’t have other plans… And Eric already pointed out we see my family often, as if it needs to be equal. But… my family lives in town. And isn’t crazy! Doesn’t that count for something!

President

This morning was my Mom’s Club’s monthly business meeting where we discuss, ya know, business stuff. It’s that time of year for board member positions to be turned over to new moms… and it was announced that I was nominated for both the president and treasurer position. Nominations are anonymous, so I have no idea who thought I was fitting for either… but as I was the only nomination for president, its assumed I’ll be voted into the position next month. I’m not sure if I’m excited… I like to lead and organize things, and I technically have the time… but I fear it’s more work than I really want as the this chapter is part of the larger Mom’s Club Nationwide Non-Profit Organization. It’s actually good experience to put on a resume… if I ever plan to need my resume again. Maybe someday.

While at my meeting this morning, and still now, I’ve been feeling really bad for Nora. She was quite upset when I left her at school/daycare this morning. Today was her second day in her new three year-old room with her new teacher, Coya. She does have four friends there with her from her old room, so she’s not with all strangers, but still. She doesn’t seem to handle change well, I hope it’s not something I did in raising her thus far. She cried and clung to me as the teacher pulled her off me. Broke my heart. Made me wonder if this is really good for her, or if I’m causing more harm. I mean, I know at some point, preschool and beyond, she will need to be in such social situations without me… but… leaving her when she’s upset and crying makes me feel like a bad mom, especially since it’s not like I have to leave her to go to work. She’s always happily playing when I come back to pick her up, but still. And I know she learns a ton at school. I don’t know. I’m so confused. Overall she had a really good day at school yesterday, even stayed dry the entire day in underwear, which is huge for her, first day for that! Maybe I’ll feel better about this all next week when Nora is more familiar with her new teacher.

Nora’s new classroom plays outside from 3:30 to 4pm everyday and I learned yesterday it’s best not to try to pick her up when she is outside… hard to find her, then we still have to go inside to get all her stuff, etc. So I guess I won’t be picking the girls up until 4pm now. And since it’s only 12:30pm, I have several hours to get some stuff done. I originally though I might go look at flowers for pots, but it looks a little like rain. I could always do laundry, but that feels more like something I should do after the girls are in bed.

What would you do with an afternoon off, free of children??

Ears

Today did not go as planned.

Nora puked last night. All over everything. She’d had a chocolate shake before bed. Ugh. It took me until 9:30pm last night to clean it all up. And I still think the carpet is a bit soiled. The rug went directly into the trash. Which was sad for me as it was handmade and kind of pricey. But such is life. Did I mention Eric left for Ft. Dodge last night right before this happened. Yeah, fun dealing with sick kids alone 😦 I finally got Nora back into a clean bed and sleeping around 10pm.

Meanwhile Nadia was up every 60 minutes last night. I’m not lying. She was crying and pulling on her ears. We just finished medication for an ear infection on Friday. I’m not surprised its back though, as Nadia spit most of the awful-tasting medication out at me.

So both the girls were home with me today, thus they went to my medication check this morning. I switched to Lexapro, we’ll see how I feel in a few weeks. Then we had both their ears checked, as Nora was also complaining. Her’s were fine but Nadia’s double ear infection is worse than it was last Monday when we last saw the doctor. More meds. I did ask about tubes, but apparently we need to have 6-7 infections before they refer to ENT. And retreating the same infection counts as one, like from last Monday and today. Eric is already wanting to call one of his ENT friends though and ask some questions… We’ll see. I hate seeing Nadia in pain. And the sleepless nights suck for all of us when I’m here with them alone.

Tomorrow Nora will go back to school and start in her new room. Wish us luck! And I assume I’ll have to keep Nadia home, as she has a fever even though the ear infection itself isn’t contagious. I’m sad because our last MOPs meeting for the year is tomorrow, so I’ll have to miss that as I can’t take a sick Nadia.

Nora did have a few moments this afternoon of playing with sand since it’s 80 degrees here today!

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Hopefully we all sleep better tonight. Eric is on his way home from Ft. Dodge now, and I probably should be getting the girls ready for bed, but I’d almost rather wait until he’s home later for his help. I’m exhausted!