She has been fired

I sent the sub-par nanny an email earlier today explaining that I just didn’t think she was the right fit for our family. I was vague, on purpose. I’m honestly feeling so much better now that I’ve made that decision. But… why does one decision always lead to more issues??

  • I’ll have no way of knowing if and when she reads the email… OMG, what if she doesn’t read it before Monday at 9am when she is supposed to be here next to watch the girls?? Awkward! Should I text her tomorrow and ask if she read my email? I know, I probably should call… but I hate confrontation.
  • I found six girls I want to interview. I have three set up for tomorrow and two for Monday and I’m still waiting to hear back from the last one. On paper they all look great, but the current one did too. Looking back though, the interview with the current one was uncomfortable, the conversation didn’t flow. Maybe that should have been a clue to me. Since all look good on paper I’m tempted to pick whichever one I click with this time… Bad idea?
  • I’ve already started a written list of expectations. Well, not just expectations, although it does include those, but also things to know… It’s very much a work in progress, but here is what I have so far under Diapers/Wipes/Potty Training. Too much detail? Does it make me sound like a crazy mom?
    • Nora would go all day and never request a wet diaper change, whereas Nadia will sometimes cry if she is the tiniest bit wet.
    • We change every few hours, before and after naps, first thing in the morning, right before bed, and when it’s obviously poopy.
    • Nora will normally tell you immediately after she poops.
    • Nadia makes an interesting grunting noise when she’s pooping. You’ll know! If she is sitting when this grunting begins, I highly recommend you lay her down or provide her some tummy time on the floor.
    • Nora is currently in size 4 diapers, Nadia is in size 3. Extra diapers and wipes are all kept in Nora’s closet.
    • We have attempted potty training with Nora, but at this point we’re not pushing it. We ask her from time to time if she wants to sit on the potty, if she does great, if she doesn’t want to it’s okay. If she does attempt the potty, there are usually a few pull-ups in the bathroom to put on after, or you can use a diaper, either is fine.
    • You can change the girls wherever, we normally change Nora on her bedroom floor. On Nadia’s changing table there is contraption to keep her hands out of her diapers. Remind me to show you how to use it if you can’t figure it out. I highly recommend you use it, for your own sake.
  • All of this seems like a huge waste of time when I’ve been looking at houses online in Cedar Rapids and have decided I really do want to move back there… In fact, if I wasn’t interviewing these girls tomorrow we probably would have gone to some open houses.

Fire the nanny?

I’m so confused… I think I want someone to tell me it’s okay to fire a nanny after one week, even if I don’t have a true list of reasons why she’s terrible. I just don’t feel like she’s right. There are things she has done that I don’t really like, but none of them put our children in danger. I think ultimately she is a baby-sitter, someone who comes while I’m away, or even while I’m here, keeps an eye on the girls, feeds them, but isn’t overly interactive with them. I know she watches TV while she’s here, but I watch TV when I’m home with the girls too… She certainly doesn’t take as much initiative as I’d like, which I suppose could be spelled out to her. She doesn’t even strike me as someone who loves kids… in fact, I’m wondering why she took this job. The money maybe, as I’m paying her $14 an hour. And so far it’s only been one child a day, as we’ve had appointments with one or the other most days. She has three 5-star reviews on care.com, but who knows if she asked those people to write them for her… Her personality is rather dull, and I get you probably shouldn’t fire someone for that, but I can’t help feeling uncomfortable around her. She is polite, has been on-time, but I’m just not sure that’s enough for me. Maybe my standards are too high…

I’m really leaning toward getting rid of her. But how? Ugh, I hate confrontation. I don’t want to tell her to leave Monday morning when she gets here. Am I supposed to give her notice? Pay her for next week but tell her not to come? Email her? I don’t feel like I have good reasons, can I just say I don’t think she’s a good fit? Having her as our nanny is stressing me out, so that alone tells me it’s not right. But the thought of interviewing again and starting all over with someone new overwhelms me too. Maybe lesson learned, I need to lay out my expectations. Maybe I’ll start typing up some stuff to make sure the new person reads and understands before they take the position.

New Nanny

Ugh, I seriously want to post a new ad and start over with my search for a new sitter. And I know, today was the new girl’s first day, maybe I shouldn’t judge after the first day…

Eric and I both happen to be home today. Eric is off this week, and I didn’t plan anything on purpose as I wanted to be able to go over everything with the new sitter today. So yes, it was probably a bit odd for her, but some days I will be here. Today I cleaned, ran an errand, finished organizing Nadia’s room a little, and made dinner while she was here. Eric worked most of the day in the basement on patient notes.

I guess my biggest complaint is that she took no initiative with the girls. Maybe it was because we were home, but other sitters have stepped up. Like while I was making dinner and Nadia was screaming, I wanted to yell, go comfort her! Instead I was trying to carry around Nadia while cooking while the sitter just stared at me.

The TV was on to Curious George this morning when she arrived, and I explained that we do let Nora watch some TV. Later in the day the sitter turned the channel to MTV and basically just sat on the floor and watched. She would interact with Nora if Nora came up to her, but otherwise Nora was roaming the house while Eric and I watched her.

She didn’t change a single diaper the entire day. Again, maybe she thought that since we were home we would do it. But what the heck was I paying her for then??

When it was getting close to the time I told her we normally feed Nora lunch she was making no efforts toward the kitchen. It was awkward. So I ordered pizzas. Again, I guess if she was here alone she would have fed Nora and Nadia. Right?

I don’t know, the entire day was just really strange. I didn’t feel comfortable with her here at all. She’s very nice, but very quiet, and maybe she did feel strange, it being her first day with both of us here. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on her. I don’t know. Maybe I should have spelled out her duties. I thought some of that stuff was assumed. I’m so confused. And not at all looking forward to Wednesday. Which OMG is Nadia’s 1st birthday. Which reminds me, I haven’t purchased a single gift for her. I feel like a bad mommy… We have no plans that day other than her speech therapy appointment. Talk about a lame 1st birthday. I guess I need to get onto planning her party.

Baptism

You know how you feel after a wedding, like you think of all the planning and then how quickly the day went and all the sudden it’s over? I feel that way about the baptism…

Overall, it was a very good day! The girls looked adorable in their dresses, they behaved, for the most part, during the mass, they were fairly cooperative during the actual baptisms, which were after the mass, and everyone seemed to enjoy lunch!

Our guests were mostly Eric’s side of the family, including his mother. My mom and step-dad were present, as well as my sister and her husband who were the Godparents, and their two children. My dad did not come, as expected, even though I can’t think of one single good reason why he wasn’t there. I think we had about 25 people total which was a good size group for lunch. We sat at one long table overlooking the golf course at the country club which was very pretty. Eric’s mom sat at the opposite end of the table as me, she didn’t say one word to me the entire day. And while I wasn’t purposely avoiding her, I was very busy most of the day with the girls and I’ll admit, I didn’t make an effort to say hello to her. I’m not sure at what point we will actually speak…

I did take a lot of pictures, below are a few of my favorites from the day 🙂

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Another boring Friday…

Either I’ve hit a new low, or I came across a great idea. I’m not sure which it is, but this morning the girls and I ventured to my favorite place, Target, with a Starbucks. I put them both in my double stroller (best purchase ever, btw) and away we went. My plan was for Nadia to nap, which she eventually did, and Nora to wear herself out. We ran into Target first for Starbucks, I got my usual, a venti iced white chocolate mocha, no whip, and I ordered the strawberries and creme frapp for Nora. Yes, my drink ruined my diet, and Nora refused to drink hers, so I drank both. Major fail. Oh well, it’s Friday! With drinks in hand we wandered through Michaels. I’m not sure what it is about that place that both overwhelms me and sparks my creativity… No purchases there today, but I still like looking.

On to Target we went with no real purpose there either other than to get out of the house. Yes, this is what my life has become. Other SAHM feel this way too, right?? Our big purchase of the day was a new doctor’s kit for Nora. She wore out an old one we bought her over a year ago, so I figured it was time to replace it. Here are a few pictures of her at Target and at home with her new toy. And yes, she was 29 months on the 16th of August.

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My plan of wearing out the girls worked I guess, as both are sleeping right now. Yes, both at the same time!!!

In the other news, our realtor called this morning to say the sellers of the house in Hudson are now willing to accept our offer. Click here to read about that if you don’t remember… We made that offer at the very beginning of July, so I basically told our realtor, too little, too late. The more I think about it, the more I don’t want to live here anyway, so probably worked out for the best. The next weekend Eric has off I think we need to go look at some houses in Cedar Rapids and try to decide if moving back there is really something that could work for us.

The baptism is Sunday. God help me. Eric’s mom is coming. I think we have 20-25 people total joining us for the celebration, and thank goodness we are eating out, as I’m in no mood to clean the house or prepare food. I’ll update after Sunday with pictures and hopefully only good stories from the day. Pray for me.

New nanny starts Monday. Lots of mixed feelings. I interviewed two girls, both are very qualified, and both acted very well with the girls. Remember how I couldn’t connect with the last girl we had? Well, that’s my fear with this new girl too. She’s very sweet, and maybe was a little quiet when she was here, but that hopefully is just because she is unfamiliar with us. I guess I’ll know more next week when she starts. She’s just part-time, but my plan is to really figure out the next step for me, whether I’ll need time to move, or perhaps checking back into opening an upscale daycare/preschool. Preferably in that order, as I’d rather not get stuck in Cedar Falls with a business I own.

The last thing I’ll mention today (I could probably write about different topics all day) is a third child… I know, deep topic, right? Something tells me I want a third, and not just because we have a frozen embryo. I mean, even if the embryo didn’t lead to a live birth, I’d still want to pursue other avenues. Having that third child feels so impossible though. I mean, going through another embryo transfer… probably another NICU stay. Or finding a gestational carrier… All the choices seem overwhelming. But Nadia is almost one, and I’d kind of like all my kids close in age, since I’m not getting any younger! Ugh, so much to think about! Definitely more on this topic to come.

Long time no write…

I’ve felt more busy than usual lately… thus haven’t made time to write.

First, last Tuesday Nadia was 50 weeks! I can’t believe her birthday is next week! Before her bath last night she weighed 18 lbs and 4 oz. Crazy! She’s gonna pass Nora soon! She’s wearing 9 and 12 month clothing, just started army crawling, claps, puts her arms up if you say ‘so big’, and says mama and dada. I should update on all her therapies, but I’ll have to do that another day.

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I haven’t even started planning her birthday party yet, as I’ve been focusing on her and Nora’s baptism, which is this coming Sunday. After I finish writing this post I’m off to find a dress. Which might prove to be difficult since my city totally sucks for shopping.

Oh, and I’m determined to lose some weight and get in better shape. Notice the tracker at the top right of my home page! I woke up this morning and decided I was going to rejoin Kosama, as my current city has one. Well, had one. I checked their website for class times and see they closed on August 1st. Awesome. I hate this city! Eric and I did talk a bit more about moving back to Cedar Rapids, and we’re still in the considering stage. Eric is okay with it, or so he says. We just need to make the time to go look at houses I guess. Funny, since I just purchased more items to decorate Nadia’s room in our current home…

And before I go shop for a dress… a picture of me and Nora. I don’t often like pictures of myself, this one included, but I’m trying to take more of myself with the girls..

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