Frozen Embryo

I hate to even write about this yet… As I don’t want to get my own, or anyone else’s hopes up…

I know I’ve mentioned in the past that I’ve attempted discussing our one frozen embryo with Eric, and he wasn’t too keen on even discussing. Why I don’t know, as I never wanted to press the issue further and upset him. Well, a week or so ago I flat out asked him, ‘Are you 100% against a third child?’ And by God, his answer was no!

We didn’t discuss a lot, but he suggested we at least look into our options, meaning what it would mean for me to carry another child, which would most likely be another preemie, vs. having a gestational carrier. Is that even the correct term?? I have so much to learn! I know of one agency in our state which assists with such, so I did a bit of research on their website. To really get any good information though I’d need to schedule a consult with them, and so far I’ve been scared to actually fill out their form and hit the submit button.

Part of me is still so torn though. I’d love another child, and want to give our embryo a chance, even though I realize it’s only a chance, regardless of who carries it. But I’m also going to be 40 in March. And I’d probably be 41 by the time the child would be born, at least. Do I want to start all over with a newborn at 40+? I mean, I do, but I wish I was turning 30 in March instead. Part of me feels too old for all this…