Another boring Friday…

Either I’ve hit a new low, or I came across a great idea. I’m not sure which it is, but this morning the girls and I ventured to my favorite place, Target, with a Starbucks. I put them both in my double stroller (best purchase ever, btw) and away we went. My plan was for Nadia to nap, which she eventually did, and Nora to wear herself out. We ran into Target first for Starbucks, I got my usual, a venti iced white chocolate mocha, no whip, and I ordered the strawberries and creme frapp for Nora. Yes, my drink ruined my diet, and Nora refused to drink hers, so I drank both. Major fail. Oh well, it’s Friday! With drinks in hand we wandered through Michaels. I’m not sure what it is about that place that both overwhelms me and sparks my creativity… No purchases there today, but I still like looking.

On to Target we went with no real purpose there either other than to get out of the house. Yes, this is what my life has become. Other SAHM feel this way too, right?? Our big purchase of the day was a new doctor’s kit for Nora. She wore out an old one we bought her over a year ago, so I figured it was time to replace it. Here are a few pictures of her at Target and at home with her new toy. And yes, she was 29 months on the 16th of August.

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My plan of wearing out the girls worked I guess, as both are sleeping right now. Yes, both at the same time!!!

In the other news, our realtor called this morning to say the sellers of the house in Hudson are now willing to accept our offer. Click here to read about that if you don’t remember… We made that offer at the very beginning of July, so I basically told our realtor, too little, too late. The more I think about it, the more I don’t want to live here anyway, so probably worked out for the best. The next weekend Eric has off I think we need to go look at some houses in Cedar Rapids and try to decide if moving back there is really something that could work for us.

The baptism is Sunday. God help me. Eric’s mom is coming. I think we have 20-25 people total joining us for the celebration, and thank goodness we are eating out, as I’m in no mood to clean the house or prepare food. I’ll update after Sunday with pictures and hopefully only good stories from the day. Pray for me.

New nanny starts Monday. Lots of mixed feelings. I interviewed two girls, both are very qualified, and both acted very well with the girls. Remember how I couldn’t connect with the last girl we had? Well, that’s my fear with this new girl too. She’s very sweet, and maybe was a little quiet when she was here, but that hopefully is just because she is unfamiliar with us. I guess I’ll know more next week when she starts. She’s just part-time, but my plan is to really figure out the next step for me, whether I’ll need time to move, or perhaps checking back into opening an upscale daycare/preschool. Preferably in that order, as I’d rather not get stuck in Cedar Falls with a business I own.

The last thing I’ll mention today (I could probably write about different topics all day) is a third child… I know, deep topic, right? Something tells me I want a third, and not just because we have a frozen embryo. I mean, even if the embryo didn’t lead to a live birth, I’d still want to pursue other avenues. Having that third child feels so impossible though. I mean, going through another embryo transfer… probably another NICU stay. Or finding a gestational carrier… All the choices seem overwhelming. But Nadia is almost one, and I’d kind of like all my kids close in age, since I’m not getting any younger! Ugh, so much to think about! Definitely more on this topic to come.

Long time no write…

I’ve felt more busy than usual lately… thus haven’t made time to write.

First, last Tuesday Nadia was 50 weeks! I can’t believe her birthday is next week! Before her bath last night she weighed 18 lbs and 4 oz. Crazy! She’s gonna pass Nora soon! She’s wearing 9 and 12 month clothing, just started army crawling, claps, puts her arms up if you say ‘so big’, and says mama and dada. I should update on all her therapies, but I’ll have to do that another day.

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I haven’t even started planning her birthday party yet, as I’ve been focusing on her and Nora’s baptism, which is this coming Sunday. After I finish writing this post I’m off to find a dress. Which might prove to be difficult since my city totally sucks for shopping.

Oh, and I’m determined to lose some weight and get in better shape. Notice the tracker at the top right of my home page! I woke up this morning and decided I was going to rejoin Kosama, as my current city has one. Well, had one. I checked their website for class times and see they closed on August 1st. Awesome. I hate this city! Eric and I did talk a bit more about moving back to Cedar Rapids, and we’re still in the considering stage. Eric is okay with it, or so he says. We just need to make the time to go look at houses I guess. Funny, since I just purchased more items to decorate Nadia’s room in our current home…

And before I go shop for a dress… a picture of me and Nora. I don’t often like pictures of myself, this one included, but I’m trying to take more of myself with the girls..

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Another Friday

Lots of random updates…

  • Nora had her second feeding therapy session today. The three foods we took she won’t eat were scrambled eggs, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and strawberries. The therapist got her to lick the eggs, take a bite of strawberry and spit it out, and take a torn off piece of the sandwich, put it between her teeth, and drop it out onto the table. Apparently that was good. It doesn’t feel good to me, it doesn’t feel like progress. I don’t see how we will ever graduate from this program. When Nora will eat anything I put in front of her? When we aren’t still giving her bottles of Pediasure? Feels overwhelming to me. I think part of the problem might be that Eric is rarely to never home to share a meal with us. Even if he is home from work early, his idea of early is 7pm. I’ve certainly fed the girls dinner before 7pm, as that’s about Nora’s bedtime. The therapist keeps telling me that the foods I bring to work on in therapy should be foods that would make our home life meals easier, things I make a lot that I really want her to eat. Well, I don’t really have a lot of those types of things. Lately I make her the things I know she will eat, and I eat whatever, as Nadia has baby food. Any suggestions as to things your kids eat that are somewhat healthy that perhaps I could try with Nora? Sometimes I wonder if I’m causing her picky eating behavior by offering her the same things over and over.
  • Nadia seems to be babbling a bit more, kind of trying to spit and make sounds with her tongue. Not sure it’s due to anything I’ve done to help her though. I tried to teach her ‘more’ in sign language, but now she’s just clapping all the time. Our next speech therapy session is Monday, I’m anxious to see how that goes.
  • As for Nadia’s physical therapy, she’s still not crawling, but definitely moving around more, turning circles during tummy time and such, and rolling more. Slowly but surely perhaps.
  • I inquired a little bit through Early Access Iowa in regards to someone coming to our home to help with therapy. Apparently we make too much money, and neither of my girls have documented disabilities, therefore they don’t qualify. I wasn’t really looking for state offered help, but that’s all I’m finding so far. So, my next thought is maybe putting an ad on care.com and just seeing who responds, be it students or professionals with an interest in coming to my home.
  • Speaking of state offered help, Nadia’s Medicaid review is due in a few days. I doubt we qualify, as now that she’s a year old it’s based on income rather than her status as a premature infant who has spent 30+ days in the NICU. I want to just throw the form away and allow her Medicaid to lapse, but our insurance is forcing me to reapply, which means gathering tons of data regarding our assets, liabilities, income, etc.
  • Baptism is in the works. I guess. Still not excited about the day, which is sad for me. I assume Liz will be in attendance, as Eric isn’t giving me a choice on the matter, which hurts. The baptism will be at our Catholic Church, and then we’re hosting a luncheon at the country club here. Strangely enough, Eric’s family is not at all religious, but yet we’re inviting all of his aunts, uncles, and cousins. Fewer on my side are being invited. Who knows who will actually come though. Maybe Liz will decide she doesn’t want to drive herself here. God I pray. I still need to order a cake, and figure out what all of us are wearing. Where does one get baptism dresses? I assumed the girls would be in matching white dresses since Nadia is now in 12 months and Nora can still fit into some 24 month size clothing. What else am I forgetting to plan? The baptism prep class is the evening of August 2nd, maybe that will help me know what else I need to do to prepare.
  • Next I need to start working on plans for Nadia’s first birthday party. AHHH.
  • Today is the last day with our current nanny. Feels odd to just be like, okay, see ya later. I mean, I will call her if we need a sitter on a random evening or something. I feel like I should have gotten her a gift, but what? And it’s kind of late now! I scheduled an interview with a prospective nanny tomorrow morning.
  • I’m so tired I could fall asleep writing this. Nadia wakes up three or more times a night. Sometimes to eat, sometimes just because she has a burp or her binkie fell out. Eric claims he doesn’t hear the girls. Don’t even get me started on this. Remind me to post on this topic separately. Well, him getting up with the girls, and him going out after work, when he already works like 15+ hours a day.
  • If you’re looking for a good book to read, my book club just finished “The Weathering of Sea Glass.” Really good story, but I will say, the author really, really needs a new editor. Lots of errors throughout the book. Oh, and it’s part of the Amazon Kindle Unlimited Reading, if you’re familiar with that program, so another bonus.
  • I mentioned Eric’s new schedule right? How he will have every third week off starting in August. Well, next week is August, and he’s supposed to have the first week off. So far I know he scheduled a case on Thursday. So we’ll see how this all goes…

Do I always have to title these posts…? This one is random….

Sitter is back today, so finally a minute alone after a week. Ah… So nice! My book club I started meets later today, but for now I’m catching up on emails at a coffee shop. I need to schedule nanny interviews as our current is finished this Friday, fill out some paperwork for Nadia’s insurance, and possibly order baptism invites. Well, if I knew where the party was being held. And who was being invited. Don’t even get me started. It’s still not settled. Drama, I tell ya. And my blood boils every time I even think about it. I originally thought maybe I would combine the baptism and Nadia’s first birthday party, but now I’m thinking maybe it would be better to focus on each separately.


Way back when, when Nadia first started physical and speech therapy, Eric asked me if I wanted to hire someone to come to our home to work with her. At the time I was like, oh heck no, we don’t need that. Now, weeks later, and with the addition of Nora’s feeding therapy, I’m wondering if maybe that was a good idea. I’m not sure how that works though. I assume we just pay for it outside of insurance, which isn’t a problem. But how does one find such qualified people? We would still go to the official appointments too, right? Anyone know a lot about all this? I certainly don’t!

But there is a caveat to this… I would feel incredibly guilty hiring someone to help the girls. I guess I have in my head that’s it’s my job as their mom to do everything I can to support and help them, including working on our therapy ‘homework’. But honestly, this is so far from my natural talents. I have no training in this area, and let’s face it, I’m not one of those SAHM who is down on the floor with their kids every minute, dreaming up new ways to entertain and grow their children’s young minds. It’s just not me.

 

October 26, 2015 – 32 Weeks (21 Weeks Corrected)

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Nora is so so fun!  It’s so cute to watch her learn and explore.  It’s almost as if I can see her thinking!  Her love this week… still her toes.  Always in her mouth!  Hates socks since it restricts her toe licking!  She is also experimenting more with her ‘voice’, adding in louder yells and screams to her babble.  It’s cute.  I assume it won’t be when she’s angry at 2am!  But for now, adorable!

I’ve been struggling lately with the idea of baptizing Nora.  I think I’ve posted in the past regarding my religion, growing up Catholic, by lately my lack of faith being I feel unwelcome by the Catholic church since my divorce.  Having moved recently to a new city though, I thought maybe this would be a good time to join a new church, thinking maybe they wouldn’t question my past church presence, just assume we were joining since we’re new to the area.  You know, a way to start fresh without having to rehash the past.  So, I contacted the only Catholic church in our new city, and people, I tell you, I feel just as unwelcome yet again.  I was sent this form to complete before we can join…

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Um…  How am I supposed to fill all this out and still feel welcome?  Eric isn’t a practicing Catholic.  Since I’m divorced we weren’t even married in a church…  Ugh.  I saw this and basically just figured we would not be joining.  I don’t want to have to explain myself and my past.  And the Catholic church wonders why it’s losing members, young members, at an alarming rate.  I thought God wanted everyone?  Except if you’re divorced.  Or gay.  Or haven’t been to church lately.  Or not married in a church…  Ugh.

So Nora is almost 8 months old and still not baptized.  And I’m struggling.  I want a special celebration of her, but how?  And where?  I looked into possibly baptizing her at the church where I grew up, but they require both parents to attend a class on a specified Monday evening.  So that’s out with Eric’s schedule, and would even be difficult for me, since I assume the children aren’t supposed to be present.  That and it starts at 7pm and is almost 2 hours from our home.

The MOPs group I joined meets each Thursday morning at a beautiful church in Cedar Falls, but it happens to be nondenominational.  Being raised Catholic it’s very odd to me that a church can be of not any denomination.  Then what do they believe?  I assume their website explains such… and perhaps if I’d take the time to explore I’d understand, but I haven’t.  I do know that they don’t baptize until the child is old enough to decide for him/her self that they wish to follow God.  Therefore they offer Child Dedication.  I guess I’m just really confused about what I believe, what this church believes, and what exactly I want to instill in Nora as she grows and learns.  Perhaps a visit with someone at this new church would be a starting point…  I think what will complicate this even more will be Eric’s views, or lack thereof.  I can’t remember now…  Did I explain the baptism compromise I attempted with him, and the fiasco which resulted?  I’ll have to look back at my posts…