FriYay

It’s Friday… It’s cold here, like -25F or something with the windchill. Schools are closed, and probably will be most of next week, but thankfully my daycare is open. I’m at one of my usual coffee shops pondering life. Again. The good news though, Eric gets home this afternoon or early evening and has next week off! It’s been a really long two weeks without his help, especially with the girls’ ear infections, Nadia even puked one night. Nadia woke around 2am again last night, and I was up with her until 3:30am. She must just hate sleep. I don’t know how else to explain it all. Last night at dinner Nora was still complaining that her ear hurt, but was all smiles for the camera as she sucked down her antibiotic, of course. Hopefully the meds start working soon. I fueled her with Tylenol this morning.

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I’ve obviously been doing more thinking about moving back to Cedar Falls. I think if I felt good about having a daycare/preschool there for the girls I’d be more adapt to see it as a realistic possibility. I emailed a few places there and am in the process of setting up tours. Some I’ve already seen, but it was YEARS ago so seeing them again should give me a better idea of what’s available. One place told me they are enrolling 3 year-olds now, so Nora, and they have five kids on a wait list for Nadia’s two’s room. How does one arrange for daycare when they don’t know when (or if??) they are moving?? Especially when I feel like daycare is so hard to come by there? Pay to hold the spot? Nora still talks about her ‘old school’. How do I pull her out of the current and start a third? Am I ruining my girls with too much change? Nadia has such a hard time adjusting! How much does an almost four year-old even remember long-term? I’m surprised Nora remembers as much as she does about the previous center, ya know, the one that kicked us out.

Maybe I was thinking about this move all wrong. Now that I’ve met a lot of great ladies here in MOMS Club… is it possible to keep them as support? It would mean I’d have to drive the hour to an event every time I wanted to see them though? But would that be better than Eric commuting for work some weeks and living away other weeks? I mean… I know the answer should be yes. But what happens if moving doesn’t change the amount of time Eric is actually home with me and the girls? And home for quality time, not home and working.

And just because I also have a cute picture of Nadia to share as well… She was almost looking at the camera!

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Back to School

The girls are back in school/daycare and I have nothing planned today, which means I’m supposed to be doing laundry, or cleaning, or one of the many other un-fun things SAHM do with their time. Yes, I get working moms do these things too! (Maybe I should update my resume.)

I started a list of sorts, a pros cons list of moving back to Cedar Falls. Well, sort of, as I was circling which was best in each city. Keep in mind I made this list in all of maybe ten minutes, so just a start.

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These are basically the physical places I go and need in a city. Sad when I look at this list…

  • The girls and I frequent the library here, which is awesome compared to the Cedar Falls library. I’m not sure what the Waterloo library is like as we’ve never been.
  • I just signed our family up for the Y here, which has four locations and offers everything I could want. I’ve heard the Cedar Valley SportsPlex in Waterloo is great, although again, I’ve never been so hard to compare. One downfall is its location in Waterloo.
  • One of my main hangouts, with Eric and girlfriends, is coffee shops. We have a plethora here. Not nearly as many choices there, but I suppose new ones are always opening, right?? (Remember my idea of opening one there?)
  • Daycare. Oh gosh, what to even say about this one. It was one of the main reasons we moved away from Cedar Falls, as we had been on wait lists the entire time we lived there and were never called. I kind of hate to even start this search again. And now that I just feel like the girls are adjusting to the new place here. Would moving them again mess them up for life? How does one coordinate a new daycare when one has no idea when they will move?
  • I’m not particularly attached to our house here, as I’ve said many times there isn’t even a space in it where I feel ‘at home’ or comfy. Problem is, I’ve been working with that interior designer, and if we don’t purchase something from her, I owe her cash for her time. No clue how much that is. Should I just ask her and cut my loses now? Or assume the furniture we purchase would match a new place? What are the chances of that? Plus, we currently own two houses. We should probably sell both before we purchase again, and that sounds expensive and time-consuming.
  • Schools, well, not a lot of choices in Cedar Falls, as there is one private there, but I’ve heard the public schools there are stellar. How does everyone know this? I assume there is a site where you can research schools…
  • Cedar Falls really needs a Camp Bow Wow for Kona. Is it bad to limit this issue, as Kona won’t live forever, and I’m never again getting another dog. (Except I tend to do everything I said I’d never do…)

Eric reviewed my list last night and said I was missing a few things. Like the fact that he would get to see us more, the girls wouldn’t miss him so much, less driving for him, etc. And of course I left those things off this list, as those are OBVIOUS. They go without saying, so I didn’t feel the need to include them. They do factor in this decision, but I’m not sure how to quantify those items. Eric thinks Cedar Falls is more than sufficient in economic offerings. But you see, he works all the freaking time, he doesn’t have time to do things, or rather notice the lack of things to do. I’m the one who has to fill my time, and the girls’ time when he is working. And looking back, that was much harder in Cedar Falls than here.

I need to make another list showing the social aspect of this move. I’ve joined several moms groups here, forming friendships with other moms who are offering me support. I want to make sure I’d have that there, but how does one research that?? Would it be weird to email the moms club president there and see what the calendars for a typical month looks like?

Are you all thinking I’m crazy right now for even considering moving back?

Last straw

Today might be the last straw. I can not live here any more. Can not.

  • Lack of shit in every category – Yesterday at 4pm I was looking for something to do as I had a sitter until 5pm. I seriously couldn’t find a place to go or something to do with a free hour of time. I went to Fareway to pick up groceries we really didn’t need.
  • Lack of healthcare options – I’ve been trying to get in with a therapist for over three months now as the one I was seeing when we moved here moved to Cedar Rapids. Finally one texted me back yesterday, said she was too busy to take on new patients but recommended another. I called this morning, that one isn’t taking new patients either.
  • Lack of decent real estate – Don’t even get me started on how we’ve been searching for a house since before we moved here.
  • Lack of available daycare – A part of me hates that we have someone come to our home to watch the girls. It forces me to leave as Nora clings to me if I’m home which means I just end up taking care of her. And ridiculous that we have been on a daycare waitlist here since I was pregnant with Nora. That was over two years ago.

My list could go on and on… But you get the idea.

And to add to my stress, the girls still have tons of appointments in Iowa City. I was just there. Nora has one Friday. Nadia has one Monday, the drive is wearing me out. And now with Nadia starting speech and physical therapy… which they still haven’t called me about…

And… Eric and I are at an impasse regarding his mother. I scheduled the girl’s baptisms for mid-August. I am not inviting her. He says she must be invited as she is his mother. How do we move forward when our wishes are complete opposites? I refuse to have my daughter’s baptism uncomfortable because of her presence. I am not ready to see her. I don’t see how this can work when I do not wish to have a relationship with her and he wishes to include her in everything regardless of her behavior and lack of acknowledgment.

August 31, 2015 – 24 Weeks (13 Weeks Corrected)

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So it’s Friday, right?  I almost missed posting again this week!

Busy busy is how I feel.  Eric’s work hours are as intense as residency.  Basically I can’t depend on him for any help at home, with Nora or otherwise.  Not his fault, just how his profession works I guess.  Not sure I’ll ever get used to it though.  It’s harder here, being away from my friends and further from my family.  I can see myself getting really lonely soon if I don’t find a way to connect with some people here.  So far the only person I talk to regularly is the owner of Home Interiors.  Sweet lady, older, and her store has AMAZING stuff, but…  Well, let’s just say I left today feeling very discouraged.  Earlier in the week the owner came to my home to get a feel for the space we’re working with, and today I went there to view some pieces.  I found a bedroom set I love, for $15k.  And then a sectional I thought was super neat, for $12k.  Do people really spend that kind of money on furniture?  I mean, do I just not know what stuff costs??  And she’s coming over Sunday afternoon to measure our windows for coverings.  Dear God, how much will those cost???  I guess I need to talk to Eric tonight and find out how much we are actually interested in spending.  The pieces are unique and I can only assume excellent quality, but geez that’s a ton of cash.

Since Eric is no help to me I need to hire some help I guess…  I have a cleaning lady coming Tuesday to provide an estimate, and then there is help with Nora…  I need some advice from those of you who know far more about this than me…  I posted an ad for a part-time nanny on care.com.  I got a ton of applicants, and so far I’ve narrowed it down to 11, but what do I do now?  I can’t really interview all 11, can I?  Should I?  What do I ask them?  Do we meet in person?  At my house, or should I pick a public location?  I just have no idea how to go about this now.  And the thought of leaving Nora with a virtual stranger scares the heck outta me!

I also need to set up a fence install, as walking Kona to go to the bathroom is really getting old, and our sod was placed on Wednesday!!  Which reminds me, I also need to hire lawn care and snow removal.  Oh the list goes on and on.

Nora is still sleeping through the night, and I’m attempting to get her on a schedule during the day, but I’m not really trying all that hard.  I have learned that she will take quite a nice nap, up to three hours, if I put her where she sleeps during the night, next to our bed in a rock n’ play.  I was previously just letting her nap where she fell asleep, which was usually in the living room with me, in her swing, with the TV blaring and sun shining.  I now see why that wasn’t the brightest idea.  Live and learn.

I know I need to get out and about, making friends, actually do something with my days, but it feels so overwhelming to get ready, get Nora ready, pack her bag…  I mean, it’s hard enough just getting to the grocery store!  Maybe I’ll try to venture out for a walk with Nora yet this afternoon, and maybe take Kona too.  Maybe.  No promises!