FriYay

It’s Friday… It’s cold here, like -25F or something with the windchill. Schools are closed, and probably will be most of next week, but thankfully my daycare is open. I’m at one of my usual coffee shops pondering life. Again. The good news though, Eric gets home this afternoon or early evening and has next week off! It’s been a really long two weeks without his help, especially with the girls’ ear infections, Nadia even puked one night. Nadia woke around 2am again last night, and I was up with her until 3:30am. She must just hate sleep. I don’t know how else to explain it all. Last night at dinner Nora was still complaining that her ear hurt, but was all smiles for the camera as she sucked down her antibiotic, of course. Hopefully the meds start working soon. I fueled her with Tylenol this morning.

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I’ve obviously been doing more thinking about moving back to Cedar Falls. I think if I felt good about having a daycare/preschool there for the girls I’d be more adapt to see it as a realistic possibility. I emailed a few places there and am in the process of setting up tours. Some I’ve already seen, but it was YEARS ago so seeing them again should give me a better idea of what’s available. One place told me they are enrolling 3 year-olds now, so Nora, and they have five kids on a wait list for Nadia’s two’s room. How does one arrange for daycare when they don’t know when (or if??) they are moving?? Especially when I feel like daycare is so hard to come by there? Pay to hold the spot? Nora still talks about her ‘old school’. How do I pull her out of the current and start a third? Am I ruining my girls with too much change? Nadia has such a hard time adjusting! How much does an almost four year-old even remember long-term? I’m surprised Nora remembers as much as she does about the previous center, ya know, the one that kicked us out.

Maybe I was thinking about this move all wrong. Now that I’ve met a lot of great ladies here in MOMS Club… is it possible to keep them as support? It would mean I’d have to drive the hour to an event every time I wanted to see them though? But would that be better than Eric commuting for work some weeks and living away other weeks? I mean… I know the answer should be yes. But what happens if moving doesn’t change the amount of time Eric is actually home with me and the girls? And home for quality time, not home and working.

And just because I also have a cute picture of Nadia to share as well… She was almost looking at the camera!

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Back to School

The girls are back in school/daycare and I have nothing planned today, which means I’m supposed to be doing laundry, or cleaning, or one of the many other un-fun things SAHM do with their time. Yes, I get working moms do these things too! (Maybe I should update my resume.)

I started a list of sorts, a pros cons list of moving back to Cedar Falls. Well, sort of, as I was circling which was best in each city. Keep in mind I made this list in all of maybe ten minutes, so just a start.

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These are basically the physical places I go and need in a city. Sad when I look at this list…

  • The girls and I frequent the library here, which is awesome compared to the Cedar Falls library. I’m not sure what the Waterloo library is like as we’ve never been.
  • I just signed our family up for the Y here, which has four locations and offers everything I could want. I’ve heard the Cedar Valley SportsPlex in Waterloo is great, although again, I’ve never been so hard to compare. One downfall is its location in Waterloo.
  • One of my main hangouts, with Eric and girlfriends, is coffee shops. We have a plethora here. Not nearly as many choices there, but I suppose new ones are always opening, right?? (Remember my idea of opening one there?)
  • Daycare. Oh gosh, what to even say about this one. It was one of the main reasons we moved away from Cedar Falls, as we had been on wait lists the entire time we lived there and were never called. I kind of hate to even start this search again. And now that I just feel like the girls are adjusting to the new place here. Would moving them again mess them up for life? How does one coordinate a new daycare when one has no idea when they will move?
  • I’m not particularly attached to our house here, as I’ve said many times there isn’t even a space in it where I feel ‘at home’ or comfy. Problem is, I’ve been working with that interior designer, and if we don’t purchase something from her, I owe her cash for her time. No clue how much that is. Should I just ask her and cut my loses now? Or assume the furniture we purchase would match a new place? What are the chances of that? Plus, we currently own two houses. We should probably sell both before we purchase again, and that sounds expensive and time-consuming.
  • Schools, well, not a lot of choices in Cedar Falls, as there is one private there, but I’ve heard the public schools there are stellar. How does everyone know this? I assume there is a site where you can research schools…
  • Cedar Falls really needs a Camp Bow Wow for Kona. Is it bad to limit this issue, as Kona won’t live forever, and I’m never again getting another dog. (Except I tend to do everything I said I’d never do…)

Eric reviewed my list last night and said I was missing a few things. Like the fact that he would get to see us more, the girls wouldn’t miss him so much, less driving for him, etc. And of course I left those things off this list, as those are OBVIOUS. They go without saying, so I didn’t feel the need to include them. They do factor in this decision, but I’m not sure how to quantify those items. Eric thinks Cedar Falls is more than sufficient in economic offerings. But you see, he works all the freaking time, he doesn’t have time to do things, or rather notice the lack of things to do. I’m the one who has to fill my time, and the girls’ time when he is working. And looking back, that was much harder in Cedar Falls than here.

I need to make another list showing the social aspect of this move. I’ve joined several moms groups here, forming friendships with other moms who are offering me support. I want to make sure I’d have that there, but how does one research that?? Would it be weird to email the moms club president there and see what the calendars for a typical month looks like?

Are you all thinking I’m crazy right now for even considering moving back?

Last straw

Today might be the last straw. I can not live here any more. Can not.

  • Lack of shit in every category – Yesterday at 4pm I was looking for something to do as I had a sitter until 5pm. I seriously couldn’t find a place to go or something to do with a free hour of time. I went to Fareway to pick up groceries we really didn’t need.
  • Lack of healthcare options – I’ve been trying to get in with a therapist for over three months now as the one I was seeing when we moved here moved to Cedar Rapids. Finally one texted me back yesterday, said she was too busy to take on new patients but recommended another. I called this morning, that one isn’t taking new patients either.
  • Lack of decent real estate – Don’t even get me started on how we’ve been searching for a house since before we moved here.
  • Lack of available daycare – A part of me hates that we have someone come to our home to watch the girls. It forces me to leave as Nora clings to me if I’m home which means I just end up taking care of her. And ridiculous that we have been on a daycare waitlist here since I was pregnant with Nora. That was over two years ago.

My list could go on and on… But you get the idea.

And to add to my stress, the girls still have tons of appointments in Iowa City. I was just there. Nora has one Friday. Nadia has one Monday, the drive is wearing me out. And now with Nadia starting speech and physical therapy… which they still haven’t called me about…

And… Eric and I are at an impasse regarding his mother. I scheduled the girl’s baptisms for mid-August. I am not inviting her. He says she must be invited as she is his mother. How do we move forward when our wishes are complete opposites? I refuse to have my daughter’s baptism uncomfortable because of her presence. I am not ready to see her. I don’t see how this can work when I do not wish to have a relationship with her and he wishes to include her in everything regardless of her behavior and lack of acknowledgment.

August 31, 2015 – 24 Weeks (13 Weeks Corrected)

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So it’s Friday, right?  I almost missed posting again this week!

Busy busy is how I feel.  Eric’s work hours are as intense as residency.  Basically I can’t depend on him for any help at home, with Nora or otherwise.  Not his fault, just how his profession works I guess.  Not sure I’ll ever get used to it though.  It’s harder here, being away from my friends and further from my family.  I can see myself getting really lonely soon if I don’t find a way to connect with some people here.  So far the only person I talk to regularly is the owner of Home Interiors.  Sweet lady, older, and her store has AMAZING stuff, but…  Well, let’s just say I left today feeling very discouraged.  Earlier in the week the owner came to my home to get a feel for the space we’re working with, and today I went there to view some pieces.  I found a bedroom set I love, for $15k.  And then a sectional I thought was super neat, for $12k.  Do people really spend that kind of money on furniture?  I mean, do I just not know what stuff costs??  And she’s coming over Sunday afternoon to measure our windows for coverings.  Dear God, how much will those cost???  I guess I need to talk to Eric tonight and find out how much we are actually interested in spending.  The pieces are unique and I can only assume excellent quality, but geez that’s a ton of cash.

Since Eric is no help to me I need to hire some help I guess…  I have a cleaning lady coming Tuesday to provide an estimate, and then there is help with Nora…  I need some advice from those of you who know far more about this than me…  I posted an ad for a part-time nanny on care.com.  I got a ton of applicants, and so far I’ve narrowed it down to 11, but what do I do now?  I can’t really interview all 11, can I?  Should I?  What do I ask them?  Do we meet in person?  At my house, or should I pick a public location?  I just have no idea how to go about this now.  And the thought of leaving Nora with a virtual stranger scares the heck outta me!

I also need to set up a fence install, as walking Kona to go to the bathroom is really getting old, and our sod was placed on Wednesday!!  Which reminds me, I also need to hire lawn care and snow removal.  Oh the list goes on and on.

Nora is still sleeping through the night, and I’m attempting to get her on a schedule during the day, but I’m not really trying all that hard.  I have learned that she will take quite a nice nap, up to three hours, if I put her where she sleeps during the night, next to our bed in a rock n’ play.  I was previously just letting her nap where she fell asleep, which was usually in the living room with me, in her swing, with the TV blaring and sun shining.  I now see why that wasn’t the brightest idea.  Live and learn.

I know I need to get out and about, making friends, actually do something with my days, but it feels so overwhelming to get ready, get Nora ready, pack her bag…  I mean, it’s hard enough just getting to the grocery store!  Maybe I’ll try to venture out for a walk with Nora yet this afternoon, and maybe take Kona too.  Maybe.  No promises!

5w2d

I don’t have a lot of pregnancy news to share, since it’s still so early.

Toward the middle of last week my waking several times a night to pee ceased, and thus I freaked. I’m telling myself my body is adjusting somewhat to the increased hormones… Feel free to reassure me this is the case!

The bloating has not subsided, and honest to God, I’m going to need maternity clothing soon! I tried the hair-band trick, but most of my dress pants for work don’t have buttons, but rather those stupid hook things, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out how to make those pants work with my bulging gut. (No laughing!) A few friends suggested the belly bands, so I think this weekend I need to invest in several of those. If I consider my weight on CD1 of this IVF cycle as my starting weight for this pregnancy, I’m only up 1.1 lbs., but I feel huge! I will need a larger bra soon, but I won’t complain about that!

I haven’t noticed any nausea yet, nor have I felt any more tired than usual. Part of me wants one or both of these to set in so this pregnancy feels more real, but I’ll be careful what I wish for… I will say I felt off this morning. Not sick to my stomach, but just different. A very strange feeling. Is this how it starts??

I still have some dull aches, almost cramp-like, but not entirely painful, more like twinges, every now and again. I used to stretch every morning before I got out of bed, but I noticed doing such caused sharp, shooting pains in my abdomen. What’s up with that??

My 7 week ultrasound is now only 12 days away, and my last progesterone injection is only 19 days. I picked up more of the 22 gauge, inch and a half needles yesterday, hopefully my last refill of those this pregnancy! I’m used to the shots by now, but they do dictate my schedule a bit. Last Friday night Eric and I went to a movie and had to do my shot early before we left, and then Sunday we were in Cedar Falls house shopping and were forced to do my shot in the car, at a gas station. Classy, I know!

Speaking of house hunting… I haven’t written much lately about our upcoming move to Cedar Falls. Not because it hasn’t been on my mind, but more because baby-making has taken precedence. Eric and I were in Cedar Falls this past Sunday though, and I’m pleased to say, it was a surprisingly productive visit!

If you remember, Eric and I have been working with an extremely pushy realtor since January. Not knowing if we wanted to build or purchase existing we’d asked our realtor to give us options for both. Well, long story short, that particular female realtor showed us several existing homes, one which we really, really liked (I think I shared some pictures of it on here) but she repeatedly told us building wasn’t an option as there were no suitable lots for the home we had in mind to build.

Annoyed with feeling as though we had few options, Eric and I decided to wait on making an offer on the existing house we liked, fearing one should never buy the first thing they see. Well, wouldn’t you know, another couple made an offer on it, and it appears to now be sold.

So what does one do when they need a lot and their realtor swears there aren’t any? Yes, you find a new realtor! Last Sunday our new, younger, male realtor showed us six lots, and offered to make calls on a few others if we wanted more to pick from. Which reminds me, that pushy realtor emailed me again yesterday, even though I’ve asked her several times to stop bothering us!

So the lots… There are two we really liked. One is more sensible… Oh, being sensible really sucks sometimes! The sensible lot is in a new development, this particular lot backs up to a pond, so nothing would be built behind us, which is great. There are already several beautiful homes on the street, with more to come soon. Aside from the pond though, it’s your typical new development, barren of any trees besides those which are brought in after construction. A fence for Kona would be allowed though, which is a huge plus! The not as sensible lot is twice the size, which is really way more land than we need, and twice the price. It’s in an older area of town, owned by a neighbor for years and years. It’s completely wooded. I mean completely. We’d to have clear a portion of the lot to build on. But wow, the scenery would be amazing, a truly unique lot. Of course, since it’s twice the price, and would cost perhaps $30k just to clear space to build, it doesn’t make as much sense to purchase. I assume we’ll forgo making an offer on it, but wow, it would make for an amazing setting.

Sunday evening we also met with a builder. He asked lots of questions regarding our tastes, what we picture for our home, the lot we had in mind, etc. He thinks having the home finished by next August is doable, but would mean we need to start digging the foundation around November 1st. Um, that’s only a month from now. How am I supposed to design my dream house in 30 days??? I’ve been looking on Pinterest, and I love almost everything I see. How does one pick one kitchen, one living room, one lower level bar, one outside sitting area, etc? I’m overwhelmed already. The builder was going to put together our ideas and get back to us in a few days… Hopefully Eric and I can meet with another builder soon so we can compare work and finalize the lot purchase.

Feeling overwhelmed I made a point to talk to Eric last weekend about possibly going part-time at work. I’ve been scared to bring it up to him, as in the past he’s made comments such as, ‘you like to eat, right’, whenever I mentioned cutting my hours. I know he was kidding, but still. I don’t him want to feel like I’m not pulling my weight from a financial standpoint in this family. During our drive to Cedar Falls last Sunday morning I forced the conversation, beginning with how bored I am at work lately since most of my duties have been transitioned to our new team member. To my surprise, Eric was very open to the idea, although curious what was in it for him. I pointed out how much happier I’ll be, less stressed, more time to take care of everything at home, since his time there is so limited… Now though, to convince my boss. I’ve drafted an email to her, but I’m not sure I like the wording, or maybe I’m just too scared to hear it’s not a possibility. Any suggestions on how to approach this conversation differently so it ends in my favor? The draft of my email is below…

Jill, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about a few things, but being you’ve been off enjoying Italy (I’m so jealous!), I thought it might be a good idea to write down my thoughts now and discuss them later when you have more time.

As you know, Eric and I just completed another IVF cycle and it was a success. My due date is June 1st. It’s still very early, and obviously a lot can happen, as I realized last time, but we’re really hoping for a good outcome. My test results look much better this time, leading us to believe the chances of a healthy baby are much more realistic now than with our previous IVF cycle.

That said, I expect more appointments and tests in the weeks and months to come. In fact, my first ultrasound is already scheduled for 8am on October 13th, just two weeks from now, when I’ll only be 7 weeks along.

In other exciting news, Eric and I went house hunting this past weekend in Cedar Falls and actually found a few lots we are considering for building. We had our eye on one particular existing home, but it sold in the past few weeks, so we’ve feeling as though building is now our only option, as surprisingly not much is for sale in that area. We met with one builder so far, but our realtor has advised us to interview at least one more before we finalize plans. And if we want to be able to move by next August when Eric is set to start work, we need to break ground before November, which actually only gives us a month to secure the lot and finalize floor plans. Doesn’t feel like much time!

All that said, I’ve been feeling quite overwhelmed with tasks in my personal life recently… and I’m wondering if me going part-time, even if only temporarily, would be an option. My first concern is still work, and making sure the team is supported. I was reviewing my tasks since Jaclyn’s arrival and I honestly think I could keep the vast majority of them, even if only working part-time. The majority of my tasks aren’t deadline based, and I realize month-end is a priority here, but if Nate is taking over A/R, that large task wouldn’t be affected by my absence. I envision me still being able to complete the expenses and 243 portions of the executive summary too, although since Nate hasn’t trained me yet, I don’t have a perfect grasp on the time involved.

Most of our department meetings are scheduled during the mornings, and I think it’s better I be present here daily, as to stay in the loop with the team, so ideally I was thinking Monday-Friday 8am-noon. But again, I realize this may not even be a possibility. If my hours did turn into just mornings, I’d make every effort to schedule other appointments in the afternoons, but my doctors here don’t always have afternoon openings, so I guess I can’t guarantee I’d never need to use sick or vacation time.

Please let me know your thoughts when you have time to discuss.

Father’s Day Weekend

I am seriously worn out, long weekend…

Eric had this weekend off, as in, completely off, no pager, no phone calls.  And you know as well as I do, this doesn’t happen often.  So we took advantage.  Well, sort of.  A little weekend away…

Thursday evening Eric’s parents called to see if we wanted to meet them in Cedar Falls for lunch on Father’s Day.  Cedar Falls, while being our home in just over 12 months now, is also halfway between our current home and Eric’s parents, not a bad drive for either of us.  So we agreed to meet, as Eric doesn’t have the opportunity often to spend time with his family.

Eric and I decided that since we were going to be in Cedar Falls on Sunday, why not drive up Saturday and make a little weekend of it.  I mean, not the coolest place to go, but a change of scenery for us none the less.  I booked playcare for Kona and a hotel for us and we were set.

Saturday late morning Eric and I dropped off Kona and headed to Cedar Rapids for a rental property sales showing.  The girl seemed interested, but her parents who tagged along seemed to offer more negative comments than I’d prefer.  We shall see…

We arrived in Cedar Falls around 2pm, checked into our hotel, freshened up a bit, and headed to an amazing furniture store our realtor recommended last time we met with her.  Wow…  I could have spent all day there.  And I might need to when we get closer to furnishing our new home!  How fun will that be??

Next was my favorite spot, the mall.  Now let me assure you, this mall is nothing special, in fact, way not as cool as the mall in my current city, but, a mall none the less.  I was out of night cream from the Philosophy counter and then just happened upon a super cute gray skirt!

By 5pm Eric and I were both starving so we headed toward downtown Cedar Falls in search of a cutesy local eatery.  I’ve heard lots of great things about Montage, and Eric having attended undergrad in Cedar Falls agreed it was tasty, from his past experience.  And it was.  Even my pre-dinner drink was yummy, a painkiller!  Eric ordered a tuna steak and I had the salmon, both accompanied by a hoisin glaze.  Excellent, I highly recommend.  Even the sides were very good!

Eric and I haven’t had a quiet dinner out together in quite some time.  Eric took advantage to really talk with me, which actually took me a bit by surprise.  He is normally quiet when it comes to his feelings, so when he blurted out ‘residency broke me’ I wasn’t exactly sure how to respond.  He went on to explain that he truly feels like the last five years, going on six, have been the hardest of his life.  He said I probably don’t actually know the real him, the happy him, the Eric before he lived and breathed medicine.  He acknowledged being down lately, overwhelmed, even angry often.  I felt really bad for him, as I honestly can’t imagine going to work each day, working 18 hour days sometimes seven days a week, all while being treated like grunt workers, rarely even being given bathroom or lunch breaks.  My work is a dream next to his…

Should I be worried or excited that Eric believes I don’t know the true him?  I’ve often complained, on here I’m sure, of his poor attitude, his lack of interest in some activities, and his constant exhaustion.  It’s thrilling to think that in as little as 12 months I could meet a happy, energetic Eric…

After dinner Eric and I decided that if Waterloo/Cedar Falls is truly going to be our home, we should start embracing it.  Yes, this is going to be hard for me!  Our waitress recommended My Waterloo Days, an event happening in downtown Waterloo this weekend.  A band, food vendors, activities for kids, etc.  You get the idea.  So we agreed to give it a chance, and I have to say, I wasn’t all that impressed, but I wasn’t as unimpressed as I expected.  The band was a group we’d never heard of, I assume local, but I really have no idea.  The food vendors were a little sad, as all I really wanted was a funnel cake, and can you believe there was not one single funnel cake vendor???  I settled on a caramel/cheese popcorn mix with fresh squeezed lemonade.  Eric was perfectly satisfied with the beer vendors…  We wandered a bit, people watching mostly, enjoying the nice weather.  My largest surprise was the quality of the people.  Now first, Eric and I were basically the only ones there without a tattoo, but aside from that, I was surprised.  Much less white trash than most of the 4th of July events in Cedar Rapids I’ve attended over the years!

We left the park around 8pm when it started to sprinkle, and then pour, as we walked to our car.  It being still early we decided to grab a movie and chill in our hotel room.  We had picked up snacks on the way so we had a little after dinner smorgasbord of junk.  It turned out to be a really fun evening!

Sunday morning we woke early to shower and beautify for lunch with Eric’s parents.  We had originally planned on BBQ, but his parents preferred a steak house, and honestly, I was fine with whatever.

Lunch was good, the food came quickly and we ate while Eric filled his parents in on the progress of the practice he and two other physicians are starting.  Most of the talk was a repeat to me, but nice to see Eric so excited about the future.

After lunch Eric’s parents climbed into our vehicle and we drove them around town as they were curious to see the house we have in mind.  We also showed them where Eric would see patients in clinic, another site for outpatient surgeries, and then one of the two hospitals he’ll have rights at for inpatient surgical cases.  I’ve seen these locations in the past, but now that we are just a year away, I’m getting more excited too.  Hopefully the next twelve months go quickly!

Around 3pm we dropped off Eric’s parents at their car and parted ways.  Eric and I stopped at Starbucks first though and I tried their new Iced Oprah Chai Tea Latte.  Way yummy!

I drove us home while Eric snored in the passenger seat.  I should be unpacking now, doing laundry, something productive, but really not in the mood.  I picked out a few recipes for dinners this week, could go pick up those groceries, but again, seriously not in the mood.  And I don’t even want to think about Kosama at 5am tomorrow, much less work.  Ick to both.  I dream of a time when my days are filled with fun and excitement rather than obligations and work.

Being it’s Father’s Day, I did text my dad this morning.  Funny, he texts but doesn’t email.  In my defense, if he did email, he’d hear from me a lot more often!  I actually don’t remember the last time we spoke…  Was it really two years ago at my wedding?  Anyway though, yes, I texted him to say happy father’s day.  Our conversation is below.  And yes, I realize it’s quite difficult to determine emotion and feelings through text, but don’t you get the impression he really didn’t want to talk?  I mean, saying have a nice day felt like he was ending the conversation.  He hasn’t talked to me in so long and all he can say is have a nice day?  I don’t know, I don’t understand him, I never have…

I have no update on baby making news.  Still bleeding.  I mean really.  When is this going to end???  This weekend was a little hard for me.  Right after I found out I was pregnant I thought about getting Eric a father’s day card, considering it his first official, even if our baby was only still an embryo.  But of course, things didn’t work out, and I guess thankfully I never bought that card for Eric.  Even My Waterloo Days was difficult though.  Everyone had children there.  It was really just geared for children, with the bouncy houses and such.  One more reminder that we are missing out, a part of our family doesn’t exist.  Maybe next year…

And the winner is…

So the secret is out…  The undisclosed location Eric and I visited a few weekends ago, our possible future home, can now be revealed…  It’s not official just yet, but it appears more than likely that the Waterloo/Cedar Falls area is where we’ll be headed in 483 days.  Eric should be receiving his contract soon, perhaps as early as next week.  Once we have a lawyer review, I assume he will sign, so possibly by the end of March!  Again, nothing is official yet, but I see no reason for Eric to change his mind at this point.

Eric was originally concerned his program director at the University would become aware of this proposed new practice, which technically will be in competition with the University…  Too late now though, he knows.  I can only hope that such an individual, and institution, wouldn’t discriminate against Eric during his remaining training, but only time will tell.

I’m truly a mix of emotions.

I understand this is an amazing opportunity for Eric…  A location desperately in need of urologists, and therefore the perfect place for him to start a new practice.  The offer is more than generous from every angle… salary, signing bonus, retirement, vacation, profit-sharing, flexibility, and of course, the guarantee of new clinic space, any and all surgical equipment he desires, a full schedule from day one, and so much more.

Sounds perfect, right?

Well, for Eric, it is.  And yes, there are advantages for me as well.  Eric will work for a physician group and therefore will not be an employee of the hospital at which he operates.  This will give him the advantage of creating his own schedule with virtually unlimited vacation.  Ha, we will see how that actually pans out!  And we will be fairly close to family, an hour or so drive to my parents and sister and only slightly further to Eric’s parents.  Everyone keeps telling me this will come in very handy once we have children…  If we ever have children.

I’m so torn though.  I want to be excited, and I am for Eric, but I want to be excited for me too.  For the past three years I’ve been counting down the days until Eric’s residency is complete.  We started at six years, remember??  As the months tick past I’ve been dreaming of the day we can move out of this cold, barren, eventless state to a warmer, larger, more exciting area.  My dream being San Diego.  Sadly, I now need to realize palm trees are not in my immediate future.  Eric claims this move could only be temporary for us, just a few years, but honestly, it seems as though once his practice is up and running, well, who would want to start all over in a new location?  I’m so scared we’re limiting ourselves though by staying in Iowa.  There is a whole world out there to be discovered!

And really, Waterloo, of all places??  It’s probably the very last place in Iowa, and on earth, I’d ever want to live, or damn near close!  And yes, everyone tells me Cedar Falls is really nice with great schools, but hell, who needs great schools when I can’t even get my future children to the embryo stage, much less kindergarten??  As far as I can tell, Cedar Falls has a cutesy downtown area, but it’s only a few blocks, and doesn’t even come close to Iowa City, much less San Diego.  Bottle line, when Eric started looking at possible locations for employment, I had one request, larger than Cedar Rapids.  That limited us to Des Moines in Iowa, and I really like West Des Moines.  I’m just really disappointed that of all the places Eric could have picked, since he claims urologists are needed everywhere, he didn’t consider the one requirement of mine.

All that said, and regardless of my feelings, I’m really trying to embrace this new chapter in our lives.  We’ve already met once with an amazing Realtor, Deanna Wheeler, once in person, and exchanged about a billion emails.  She is truly awesome, I highly recommend her!  We have another weekend scheduled with her in early April to view a few more existing newer homes and some lots, since if we do plan to build something custom, which I’d prefer, we’d need to secure a lot soon and break ground this summer.  At this point we’re leaning toward Cedar Falls, although we did visit a beautiful newer subdivision in Waterloo that is quite close to Eric’s proposed clinic site.

I’m getting the impression there aren’t a lot of available homes in our price range, or lots that would be suitable for such a home…  Never thought we’d have this problem!  The area is just really different from what we’re used to in Iowa City.  Here there are lots of available spaces to build, in Cedar Falls, not so much. Cedar Falls is much more developed and therefore running out of lots on the outskirts of town, or so I’m told.

I’m trying not to get too excited about a house, but it’s been difficult so far for two reasons.  First, our Realtor keeps showing us seriously gorgeous homes.  I’m kind of like a kid in a candy store…  Doesn’t matter if I need it, you showed it to me and now I want it!  And second, being this move is primarily focused on Eric, I feel like our house is one of the few things I do have a choice in…  Does that make sense?  So yes, I’ll admit we’ve probably been looking at homes which are a bit more extravagant than we need, but in my defense, we will need a large tax shelter!

So work for me…  Yeah, no idea on that front.  I still really want to open a coffee shop in Cedar Falls, so my research continues.  It will be a good long while until I know if it’s a suitable market.  I can say there are relatively few coffee shops in the Cedar Falls/Waterloo area, if you exclude restaurants, compared to other like cities, so that’s a huge plus!  Well, assuming it isn’t just because people in the area don’t like coffee and therefore they all closed!  I just need to find more time in my life to work on this project…

Back on the baby making front, it’s CD22 and I feel nothing that would even remotely make me think I could even possibly be pregnant.  My heart rate has been higher than normal during my workouts the last few days, but last time I checked that wasn’t an early sign of pregnancy.  And really, it’s too early even if it was.

Aside from the letter I got in the mail from the University confirming my BMI is within range to continue in their IVF program, I also received one with instructions for my next cycle.  The letter confused me though…  It mentioned the higher dose of Lupron they plan to use this time, but it listed the same brand of BCPs I was on last time, and I swore Dr. Munch said we’d be using a higher dose this cycle.  So I guess I need to email them.  I wonder if there is a red flag in my chart for annoying patient with tons of questions??

Happy Fat Tuesday for all those who apply.  I’m off to stuff my face and make a dent in the four months of laundry Eric saved me!