Easter

Easter certainly did not feel like Easter this year. We still made a ham, and something called funeral potatoes, which were super yummy, but still, not the same without family.

A week or so ago I placed an online Target order for pickup with some Easter items for the girls. To them, Easter was probably completely normal, they found baskets of candy and small toys in their bedrooms and we hid eggs with candy inside. But to me, it felt like another boring day stuck inside as it was cold and rainy! We did decorate eggs as well, and then proceeded to eat most of them as deviled eggs. But still… I don’t even think I showered on Easter.

Long Week

Eric left last Friday morning for what I expected to be ten days, his normal seven on-call, and then three more for a trip to Las Vegas with his brother. Over Easter. Three days cutting into his week off. Don’t even get me started.

I was beyond annoyed. But was also trying to be the supportive wife that knows he deserves a vacation, and time with his brother. Even though I never get a vacation without the kids… So yes, I bitched some when he booked the trip, but ultimately told him to go and have fun.

Tuesday he texted me that he cancelled his trip. His reason being that he knows its hard for me here alone so much with the girls. I’m relieved yes. But I do feel bad he cancelled on his brother. And I hope to God I don’t hear him moaning about how he cancelled his trip for me for the next month… (My husband isn’t the only one who does that, right???)

It’s Thursday night and thankfully I survived the week, but it wasn’t easy. And daycare is closed tomorrow for Easter, so it could be a long day until Eric gets home…

Three year-olds are little terrors sometimes. Those of you with children surely understand. And then throw on top of that a sick Nadia, and well, it makes for fun times. Daycare called me yesterday afternoon to tell me Nadia had a 103F fever. It was down this morning actually, but she was still very cranky all day, and up several times last night, more so than her usual one time. My fear is hand, foot, and mouth, as I saw a sign on the door when I picked her up that there had been exposure to her classroom. I’m really hoping that since her fever has been down for 12 hours now, and there were no signs of sores when I put her to bed, that she doesn’t actually have that… I’m praying anyway!

In the mist of parenting I did find some time to do a few things around the house that have been on my list way too long. I straightened Nora’s name above her window. Which surprisingly took a ton of time! I put up Nadia’s one-year picture over her bed, and purposely left a space for something else. What I’m not sure yet. I installed a motion light switch in our laundry room. Love it, I need these in more places! And put the curtain rod up in the master bedroom. The curtains still need to be shortened, but I’m leaving that for maybe next week. I’m quite proud of myself!


I also wanted to update on how I’ve been feeling on my new anti-depressant, Viibryd. I want to say I feel amazing, but I don’t. I have a strange list of side-effects…

  • I actually think I sleep better now than when I was on Zoloft, but only if I take Viibryd first thing in the morning. I always took my Zoloft at night, so I automatically took the new med at night. Well, it made me terribly restless, it was impossible to get to sleep for hours!
  • I wake up feeling… I’m not sure the right word, groggy maybe. I’m not sure if I’m just now actually sleeping and I’m not used to this waking up feeling… I’m not sure.
  • Um… the websites all say it does not cause weight gain. I gained ten pounds since going on it. I want to eat all the time. All the time. Like I actually feel hungry, like my hands get shaky like I need sugar. So weird.
  • I always feel…. not sure the word… energized maybe, but perhaps not in a good way. Like I can’t calm down, can’t just sit and rest. Like I have to be doing something all the time. Granted, I got a lot done this week! But not sure the feeling is normal.
  • As well as feeling energized, I would also say I feel far more anxious than I did on Zoloft. Every little thing seems to annoy me. Everything seems overwhelming, like the dog was digging and had mug everywhere, it felt like a huge pain in the butt to clean her up.

I have an appointment with the physician who prescribed me this medication on Monday. Two days ago I actually started cutting my pills in half.. partially to wean myself off if that is what he thinks is best, but also partially to see if a lower dose would make me feel better. Maybe the drug isn’t all wrong, maybe my dose is just too high. I’m curious to see my doctor’s recommendations on Monday.

35 Weeks

I was holding Nadia last night, rocking her while she was screaming, I assume teething, and was thinking, I can’t believe she is already 35 weeks! Where do the days go??? She isn’t sitting yet, just propped up in this photo.As for teething, I don’t remember Nora being so fussy. It seems like Nadia is inconsolable unless we keep up with Advil every 6 hours. So far I only see her two bottom front teeth coming in, but I haven’t really looked in her mouth lately. Yesterday was tough, Eric didn’t get home until late, Nadia wasn’t interested in napping, only wanted to be held, and Nora was whiny anytime I gave Nadia attention. So basically all freaking day. And Nora loves to play outside, which is great, but hard with Nadia. Seemed like every time I laid Nadia down we would go outside to play, and 15 minutes later (no shit) Nadia would be awake and screaming. How do mommies with 5 kids do this????

I did find time yesterday to (finally) color Easter eggs with Nora. I’d been meaning to, but just hadn’t gotten around to it. And I’ve decided I need to do more art projects and such with her. We had fun, she really enjoyed it I think! Granted, we needed with multicolored hands, but totally worth it. And it was adorable how when Eric got home from work she said up to him and pointed to the fridge so she could show him her eggs.

Yesterday I also signed up for ABC Mouse. Anyone familiar? Love it? Hate it? It says it’s for children starting at 2, but I feel like Nora is too young for a lot of it… We’ll see I guess. She loves the iPad, so at least this would be a learning opportunity while using technology.

Did I ever write about our trip to St. Louis? Hum… Stay turned for that!

Easter

I fear there is something wrong with me… All these years I’ve longed for little girls, to dress them up, and here, Easter is soon, the perfect excuse to purchase frilly dresses. And I have no desire to do so. Well, I actually did buy them matching dresses, but I’m seriously considering taking them back for these reasons.

  • This is the dress I purchased for both of them… Yeah, $52 each. Isn’t that a lot for an Easter dress? That they will wear once… I assume. That Nora will get dirty while eating. That Nadia will probably spit up on. Yes, I could have purchased less expensive dresses, but if I’m going to the hassle of getting them dresses, I’m getting them cute dresses!
  • We are traveling for Easter. Yes, it’s only about an hour in the car each way, but these dresses have tulle underneath. How does one strap a child into a car seat wearing tulle?
  • If I dress up the girls, do I need to dress up? And Eric too? Ugh, more shopping to do. More spending money on clothing we won’t wear a lot, since I live in PJs and comfy clothing.
  • Dresses for little girls means tights and dressy shoes too. Ugh.
  • I feel guilty about this, but I doubt we are even going to church on Easter… We actually rarely go to church, as Eric is usually working Sunday mornings and I’m not about to take two kids to church alone. He isn’t working Sunday morning, but I know Easter, of all days, means a ton of extra people in church, and dealing with all that with kids, well, the idea doesn’t thrill me. So basically, the only people to see these dresses will be my family.
  • Sure, we could take a ton of pictures. I actually really like taking pictures. I posted a few below I took of the girls yesterday. I just wish I knew more about photography so I could take better pictures. I like what I take, but I realize they don’t compare to professional.

So do I suck it up and put them in dresses because I feel like it’s expected of me? It’s what you do with little girls on Easter, right? Will I regret not getting cute Easter pictures if I don’t dress them up? And oh gosh, I guess I need to do Easter baskets too. Ugh, see? Why am I behind on everything? Everything is the last minute. And most things I do are because I feel like I should….

 

Easter

Picture this…  Beautiful family, all dressed up for church on Easter Sunday, little girl in an adorable Easter dress and bonnet…  Easter brunch to follow at a fancy location…

Yeah, that was not our Easter.  That is the Easter I dream of, the one I have in my head, but not the one that actually happened.  And don’t get me wrong, our Easter was great, just not story-book beautiful.

Eric was on-call.  Of course.  He went into the hospital around 6am to do I’m not sure what, round on his in-patients I assume.  I had decided last-minute to make a ham to celebrate with my mom and step-dad who were planning to arrive at my house around noon.  My hope was that Eric would be home in time to join us for lunch.

At 10am I put Nora down for her morning nap and jumped in the shower.  When I finished I saw a text from Eric saying he had added on a case (surgery) for 1:30pm.  Hum… so he would be missing lunch.  Darn it.  I felt bad he was stuck at the hospital.  But I also felt bad that I was making my mom and step-dad drive all the way to my house when Eric wasn’t even able to join us for the meal.

The meal was okay, the ham was spiral cut and I’m now told they are almost always dry after they are baked, and it was slightly dry.  We had cold sides with it, potato salad, a pasta salad, broccoli salad, mandarin orange salad, rolls, lots of yummy stuff.  It seemed a bit odd to me not having a hot potato dish though.  Just didn’t feel like Easter some how.  Maybe it was because I was in jeans, not my Sunday best.

After lunch we watched Nora play a bit until she was ready for her afternoon nap.  Then we all kind of laid around and watched TV, digesting our lunch.  Eric finally stopped home around 3pm to grab some food but headed back into the hospital before 5pm.  Typical on-call day for him I guess.  For some reason I thought the end of residency meant fewer missed holidays, but I was mistaken.

And if I didn’t feel like a mommy fail enough (no help from all my friend’s Facebook posts and pictures) I didn’t even put an Easter basket together for Nora.  Thankfully my mom did!  Nora was thrilled with it, especially the card!

easter 1