Should I carry?

I can’t help but think this would all be easier if I just try to carry our embryo… Am I crazy? Is it irresponsible given my history? Maybe I’m just already overwhelmed with the surrogate process… which is just beginning. What if I at least talk to the high-risk OB team again…? Eric isn’t thrilled with the idea, he does not want another nicu stay.

Gestational Carrier Consult Details

So I probably should have explained a bit better in my original post… Here are the details of our appointment in Iowa City in mid-July.

  • Eric and I need to be at the IVF Clinic by 8am, which is now at it’s own site separate from the hospital. Might be a challenge since we live almost two hours away, and we can’t bring the girls due to COVID-19, not that we would have anyway. I guess I need to work something out for my mom to watch them.
  • From 8-11am I’m told we’ll do a variety of things..
    • Meet with the IVF group (doctors and nurses) to discuss the process, details, all the medical stuff. This is when they will share all the scary stats, like the chances of our embryo not even surviving the thaw. Thankfully Eric and I are pretty familiar with the embryo transfer process, being through it several times ourselves.
    • Eric and I both need some blood drawn for FDA approval. Apparently since they are putting our tissue, the embryo, into another human, the gestational carrier, they need to tests us for a bunch of stuff. Seems silly to me at this point, as our embryo was created and frozen six years ago… Although I remember tons of tests then too.
    • Consents. I’ll told there is a lot of signing of consent forms. Choices and decisions to make. Sounds familiar as well from way back when with the IVF process.
    • Finance. Apparently they want to talk to us about how we plan to pay for this, before we get too far into the process.
  • Then we have a break, and later in the afternoon from 1-3pm at the hospital Eric and I meet with a psychologist. I’m not sure if this is together or separate, nor do I have any idea what exactly we discuss, other than the obvious.

Next steps for me also are to get back into contact with the surrogacy agency. I seem to remember the next step with them is to contact one of their choice lawyers and work on the contract between us and whoever we pick as the carrier. Oh, and establish a financial deposit with them for our, and our carrier’s expenses.

On the phone yesterday the fertility clinic’s nurse asked again about us having only one frozen embryo. She stressed this is a lot of work and money for only one chance. I’m not sure what to think of that, other than scared I guess. I truly feel like this embryo deserves a chance, the whole point in us doing this… but is this just going to make me want a third child… so what happens if our embryo doesn’t result in a live birth?

It’s June!!!

How it can be June, I have no idea. May took three years to pass I swear. Our state, Iowa, is starting to open back up, but we are still staying put for the most part. We have been out once really, for Eric’s birthday to dinner which was last week. It felt very weird to be out, almost wrong. And the girls were kind of wild, but of course, can you blame them after being stuck at home for months?? After Eric’s birthday dinner he enjoyed a homemade chocolate cake at home. Super yummy!

I feel like I have lots of updates… probably because I haven’t written in quite sometime, but also because I feel like all the things put on hold due to COVID-19 as slowing coming off hold status.


The occupational therapy clinic FINALLY called and Nadia’s appointment is next Monday morning. I’m nervous, and I so wish Eric could come too, but they only want the patient and one parent due to COVID. More to come on this!


And… the IVF clinic called to make an appointment to start the gestational carrier process from their end. I have no idea what to expect, I guess we will find out. They suggested some appointment dates in July, but Eric is on-call those days, so I’m waiting for them to call me back so we can figure something out! Stay-tuned!


Alright, back to cleaning the kitchen and laundry, which I’ve been putting off forever. Seems the more time I have, the less I accomplish with poor motivation. I’ll leave you with a few more of my favorite photos currently on my phone.