The good news… The HCG trigger shot must be out of my system, as yesterday and this morning I got negatives on HPT. I realize it’s probably too early to get a positive, but it was still a little difficult seeing the negatives. Being I’ve never seen a positive, I guess, well, I expect to never see one. History has a way of repeating itself, right?
And on top of that, I feel full on PMS symptoms, as I’ve bitched to Eric several times today already, and the night is still young. Of course, I feel my bitching was completely valid… I ran errands this afternoon and he promised to get patient notes finished while I was gone. But of course, that didn’t happen. So here it is, a night we actually have off together and he’s in the office working. What wife wouldn’t be annoyed?
Moody is really the only symptom I’m currently experiencing. I had quite a bit of cramping up until perhaps four days after the transfer, but this weekend I haven’t felt much. As usual, I fear that’s a bad sign. I pretty much fear everything at this point.
I’ve decided I’m going to be one of those freaks who pees on a stick. Daily. Just daily though. I swear I won’t use more than one test a day. But only because I’m not made of money and they aren’t exactly cheap. So my plan is to take a test at home each morning this week. I realize this will probably stress me out, but no more so than not testing and just aimlessly wondering. At least this way I can prepare myself for bad news in the comfort of my own home, rather than calling that stupid patient information line from work and having to deal with my emotions in public.
Maybe I’m in a bad mood today because it’s Mother’s Day, and I’m in limbo. Isn’t it better to know, even if the news is bad, than to be stuck in limbo? Is this officially my first Mother’s Day, or don’t you get to count it until your child exists to the world in physical, breathing form? I couldn’t even stand looking at Facebook, all the freaking happy families with 3+ kids. I feel so far behind. And running errands at the mall was a bad idea. It was a mix between prefect families with their little girls in matching dresses, or the family of seven that appeared to have just crawled out of bed, complete with holes in their dirty clothing. Yes, I’m judgey today. Sue me.
Only a few more hours until I can drift off into dreamland, my favorite part of the day lately… First though, I need to find some healthy recipes for dinners this week.
Happy Mother’s Day one and all!