Mother’s Day

This may be the most uneventful Mother’s Day ever… I was able to sleep in a bit, but then we all kind of laid around, had a lunch of leftovers, and finally Eric showered to round on his inpatients and see consults, as he is on-call this weekend. The girls are playing downstairs, alone for once, and I’m dreaming up dinner and hoping Eric is home soon. I’m thinking takeout as I’m not in the mood to cook. Or clean up. Or do anything really.

We haven’t made any decisions on the house… I feel like if I don’t love it, we shouldn’t buy it. But what if I never love anything in this city?? And then last night I found out a partner of Eric’s bought not one, but TWO very expensive lots to build. I guess they wanted a large lot for their castle they intend to design. And no, I don’t expect to spend that kind of money on land, and no, I don’t need a $2M home. I wouldn’t want to live in such a development where I felt like I had to keep up with the neighbors… But it still makes me feel a little sad. I just want to move and feel settled, and sooner rather than later!

Mother’s Day Recap

I won’t go on and on about this… as its beginning to feel like a broken record, but I will update and say I did not go with Eric to his mother’s home on the Saturday before Mother’s Day, and neither did the girls. He went alone and the girls and I hung out at home. It was a little boring for me, as the girls only carry on a conversation to a certain extent, bit it was way less stressful and anxiety-ridden than my day would have been had I gone with Eric to see his family. Eric was home by 7pm that evening, so in time to help me with bedtime, which was a huge help. I have no idea what he told his family as to why I wasn’t present… I hope he told the trust, that his mother has alienated me and still has not made things right. More likely though he told them I was sick or that it was too far in the car for the girls in one day.

On Mother’s Day the four of us had dinner out with my mom and step-father, and my sister and her husband and two children. It was nice to get together and chat, catch up, although eating out on busy days makes me nervous. The restaurant we picked was absolutely packed, and although we didn’t have to wait long, as we called ahead, it was still crowded and close corners with kids. Nora was surprisingly good, but Nadia was sick of sitting in one place long before our food arrived! I have lots of cute pictures of the girls from that day, but I realized later I didn’t take a single picture with my mother or sister 🙁

Daycare helped the girls make some very sweet gifts for me from each of the girls, and Eric gave me a beautiful bouquet of flowers and pictures of the girls which spells LOVE. Very sweet of him! It was a very special day!

 

36w6d – Day of Life 55 – Mother’s Day

This is certainly not how I imagined my first Mother’s Day, but honestly, I’m enjoying my time here with Nora in the NICU.  I woke around 7am, as usual, pumped, of course, showered, drove to the hospital, grabbed an iced mint white mocha and true blueberry scone from Java House, and made my way to Nora’s room.  She was just starting to stir in her 4moms swing when I arrived, rounds just getting underway.  No changes today for orders from her doctors, at this point we are just waiting out the antibiotics so we can get home!  Still feeding ad lib, breastfeeding when I’m here and bottles when I’m not and overnight.  I did notice she lost 20 grams overnight so they want to make sure she’s getting four full bottles of fortified breast milk each day for extra calories.  I think we might switch to do one of those bottles during the day to make sure we get them all in over each 24 hour period.

I fed Nora around 10am, she did awesome, as usual, nursed for around 20 minutes.  She’s been back in her 4moms swing since, napping noisily.  They tell me it’s completely normal for preemies to grunt during sleep…  She’ll grow out of it soon, I hope!

I attempted to organize Nora’s room last night, but didn’t get very far before I was completely overwhelmed.  I have so much stuff, and since we didn’t purchase furniture yet, I have no real way to organize it.  I still need to wash all her clothing, I meant to start that last night, but that didn’t happen either.  I noticed I have a ton of onsies, but almost no pants.  I can’t really leave her legs out, right?  So I just placed another Amazon order for several pairs of baby girl pants/leggings 🙂

Eric arrived around 12:30pm with Panera in hand, he knows it’s my favorite, and a very cute Mother’s Day card from Nora.  He’s been asking me what I want all week…  I’m thinking perhaps an aquamarine necklace, as it’s Nora’s and my birthstone.  I think I’d like to pick it out myself though, so the purchase will have to wait a bit.  Something to look forward to.  Speaking of looking forward…  Plan is still to be released toward the end of this week.  These last few days can’t pass quickly enough!

Our plan for the remainder of Mother’s Day is for Eric, myself, and Nora to spend some quality time together here at the hospital 🙂  I might even find a way to have some pokie stix delivered!

6DP3DT

The good news… The HCG trigger shot must be out of my system, as yesterday and this morning I got negatives on HPT. I realize it’s probably too early to get a positive, but it was still a little difficult seeing the negatives. Being I’ve never seen a positive, I guess, well, I expect to never see one. History has a way of repeating itself, right?

And on top of that, I feel full on PMS symptoms, as I’ve bitched to Eric several times today already, and the night is still young. Of course, I feel my bitching was completely valid… I ran errands this afternoon and he promised to get patient notes finished while I was gone. But of course, that didn’t happen. So here it is, a night we actually have off together and he’s in the office working. What wife wouldn’t be annoyed?

Moody is really the only symptom I’m currently experiencing. I had quite a bit of cramping up until perhaps four days after the transfer, but this weekend I haven’t felt much. As usual, I fear that’s a bad sign. I pretty much fear everything at this point.

I’ve decided I’m going to be one of those freaks who pees on a stick. Daily. Just daily though. I swear I won’t use more than one test a day. But only because I’m not made of money and they aren’t exactly cheap. So my plan is to take a test at home each morning this week. I realize this will probably stress me out, but no more so than not testing and just aimlessly wondering. At least this way I can prepare myself for bad news in the comfort of my own home, rather than calling that stupid patient information line from work and having to deal with my emotions in public.

Maybe I’m in a bad mood today because it’s Mother’s Day, and I’m in limbo. Isn’t it better to know, even if the news is bad, than to be stuck in limbo? Is this officially my first Mother’s Day, or don’t you get to count it until your child exists to the world in physical, breathing form? I couldn’t even stand looking at Facebook, all the freaking happy families with 3+ kids. I feel so far behind. And running errands at the mall was a bad idea. It was a mix between prefect families with their little girls in matching dresses, or the family of seven that appeared to have just crawled out of bed, complete with holes in their dirty clothing. Yes, I’m judgey today. Sue me.

Only a few more hours until I can drift off into dreamland, my favorite part of the day lately… First though, I need to find some healthy recipes for dinners this week.

Happy Mother’s Day one and all!

4DP3DT

I broke down and purchased some home pregnancy tests after work today. And by some I mean 6. I fear this won’t be enough…

In non-crazy news, Eric and I had a fun evening! He was home before 7pm and after dinner we took Kona for a walk to Dairy Queen, complete with a vanilla kid cone for her!

I’ve decided to embrace Mother’s Day this year, even if I can’t yet celebrate for myself. Instead, I’m very much looking forward to spending some time with my amazing mother this weekend!