Overprotective?

I haven’t written much, if really at all, about COVID-19, other then to say we’re at home, bored and losing our minds. Which maybe is strange since it seems to be the center of life currently. Why I haven’t written…? I don’t know, maybe because my thoughts and feelings related to it are all over the place, and change from day to day… And, they are just my thoughts. I read random different news articles daily, from all different sources, but as far as research, no, I haven’t done any actual research from a medical perspective, meaning reading peer-reviewed journals. I surely could do this research, but honestly, I’ve had other things on my mind with Nadia’s sensory issues and moving soon. So below are some random thoughts currently floating around in my head, in no particular order…

  • I’m sick of being home, even though I know it’s the safest place currently, as I see infection rates are going back up quickly in certain states and areas.
  • I’ve always thought my roll as a stay-at-home-mom was ill-fitted to my personality. I still believe that. I find it incredibly difficult to entertain my children at home, day after day after day. Especially when it’s very hot or raining, which the weather has been quite often lately. I hate sticking iPad’s in their hands, but I’ve been guilty of that lately more times than I’d like to admit.
  • I fear for my own mental health, as I struggled with depression and anxiety before the pandemic, and obviously more so since the start of social distancing. I miss doing things other than directly related to parenting. I miss my friends. I miss eating out. I miss it all.
  • I fear for my children’s mental health as they have very much lacked social interaction since March. My girls both struggled with separation anxiety before March, in fact, it took us many months before either would walk happily into preschool without me. I feel like we took a million steps back now… How will I ever get them back into school without tons of screaming on their part? And maybe on mine too…
  • I fear for Eric’s mental health as I know he is exhausted at work. I fear he will bring germs home, as in clinic he will routinely see 40+ patients a day. He’s back to performing both emergency and elective surgeries, but thankfully they only operate electively on COVID-negative patients.
  • The title of this post, overprotective, refers to how I’m feeling as a parent currently. I would say the vast majority, maybe 90%, of my mom friends here in my current city are acting as though the pandemic is over, or never started. Several refuse to wear masks due to “their rights as Americans” their words, not mine. A few even think the pandemic is a complete hoax, made up to advance certain political agendas. I do believe the media tells us only what they want us to hear/know about COVID, but as the wife of a physician, I believe COVID is real, and dangerous for all ages.
  • We were invited to a child’s birthday party tomorrow at a local gymnastics club. We aren’t going, and I feel like the other moms think I’m completely over-reacting by not attending functions yet. They assure me the club is cleaning extra well… but I don’t know, I just don’t feel comfortable yet. I don’t feel like the pandemic is at the point where it’s under control. But will it ever be?
  • Speaking of… I fear for the fall and the start of school, which is really next month already I guess. My feelings are very torn. I’m scared for the kids to go back from a medical, safety perspective… and for all the teachers and staff too, a lot of which are older. But on the other hand, my girls needs friends other than each other, they need social interaction, they need to learn, experience life outside this house… I realized yesterday that Nora (5) still doesn’t recognize all her letters and numbers. I guess my fault, I should have been working on them with her all these months. But after the bad experience with preschool over zoom last spring, I decided to just let the girls play all these months. And what about all the parents who work full-time outside the home? I stay home, I could theoretically teach the girls… but… I realize not everyone is in that position. Eric wants to hire a private teacher to come to our home and teach the girls this year…

I have more to share, more on my mind… but I best go dream up some lunch for the girls who are getting rather moody…

July 10th

Wow, July 10th. I haven’t written in over a month. I have no idea how that is possible. The month of June somehow flew by, but yet each day felt like 17 years.

June was basically the same as May, only hotter. We played in the pool a lot, see some pictures below, as we still aren’t going out in pubic. It’s been somewhere around 119 days in isolation. I keep saying I might lose my mind. Perhaps I already have. Today is especially bad, it’s near 100F so we haven’t been outside much… and they are obviously sick of being stuck inside. They fight. Nadia is quite physical. I feel like I keep pulling her off Nora. No amount of sending her to her room does any good. I suspect a lot of Nadia’s behavior is sensory related, more on that in another post, but regardless, we need to discipline. And I have no idea how, as nothing I have tried works. I know we can’t stay inside forever, but with cases rising again, I’m just not all that comfortable taking the girls out yet.

In other news… WE BOUGHT A HOUSE. Eric keeps teasing me that it’s our annual real estate purchase, as we seem to move every one to two years lately. It’s a really pretty house, I’ll post a few pictures once we are moved in. We close July 27th but the movers don’t come until August 8th. I guess I should be packing.

Nadia had her first occupational therapy (OT) session last week. They gave us a reoccurring appointment, every OTHER Thursday for 30 minutes. I’m annoyed. I don’t feel like it’s nearly enough time, as I can hardly tell them my concerns much less have them work on anything with her. I feel like they are just too busy to really give any patient the attention they need. Maybe I still need to consider another therapist in another nearby city. Nadia also has a speech therapy appointment at the end of the month. She was in speech, and actually physical therapy also, when she was younger, but I feel like she still needs some help with speech. She doesn’t talk much, although can, but sometimes she acts like she wants to say something but can’t think of the word. Other times she will make a noise or point for something she wants. We’ll see what they have to say.

I can’t think of what else is new… since we don’t leave the house much. We did go to my sister’s house for the 4th of July which was fun, lots of good food! Otherwise, same old same old here playing LEGOs!

Isolation Day 65

It’s been 65 days since I have been out and about due to COVID-19. I’m about to lose my mind, running out of ideas to entertain the girls. I ordered more LEGOs from Target to pick up later today. We need more LEGOs like I need a hole in my head. But it will keep them busy. For a few hours.

Apparently my entire state (Iowa) is reopening soon. Well, with restrictions of course. I’m not sure exactly what those restrictions are, as I’ve been avoiding the news lately. I’m not sure why we are reopening, as every medical expert is warning against such. But apparently our governor knows better. HAHA. I also don’t know how excited I am to get out. I mean, yes, I want out of this house, but I want life back to normal, and that certainly isn’t the case currently. Maybe I’ll wait a few weeks and see how many people turn ill due to the reopen…

I made some yummy bread a few days ago, I highly recommend you try it, if you’re into making and eating bread! I was supposed to shape it into six loaves, which I did, but mine kind of reshaped themselves into larger round blobs… But they were super good!

Nadia’s sleep is now hit or miss. She will have a few greats nights in a row, and then a night where she wakes three or more times, like last night. I ordered this sheet thing, it’s supposed to arrive today. I’m told it’s great for kids with sensory issues and/or just general sleep issues. It’s worth a shot, right?

Alright, off to entertain my children and dream up dinner. Oh, and laundry, and clean the entire house, and heck, maybe I’ll shower today too!

Another Monday

Another Monday. Eric went back to work today. He was both a huge help with the girls last week, and a huge annoyance to me. That’s normal, right??? When he’s the only adult I ever get to see anymore!

So far I’m totally mastering parenting alone. The girls had noodles for breakfast, which they love. (I just didn’t want to fight with them over food again.) And they have been on their iPad’s since they woke. Another fail. And I didn’t log into Nora’s preschool at 8:30am this morning. Ugh.

Speaking of preschool online… The girls HATE it. And I hate forcing it, as I don’t want them to have a bad idea of school. Which I fear they are developing. Last night on Facebook an ad for Hooked on Phonics came up. And in my desperation to have them do some type of learning, I signed up. We’ll see… I haven’t shown them the app yet, and some other materials are being mailed to me. Maybe it will be a success…

Last week Eric built, well, sort of, part if it came built but it was still a lot of work, a little outdoor playhouse for the girls. I had hoped it would excite them enough to go out into our fenced yard alone, since I can see the whole yard from the house… Nope, they still want me right there! But they do enjoy their little house, and it got us outside a bit more last week and over the weekend, as the weather was beautiful here!

A few other pictures of playing last week, Jenga, their little outdoor slide, gathering rocks… and paper airplanes, amongst other things.

Children & Social Isolation

If you have a moment, please consider completing my survey, and feel free to share the link with others. Thank you!

Create your own user feedback survey

Social Isolation Day 39 – Sleep Issues

I think it’s day 39 of social isolation… who knows. I don’t even know what day if the week it is… Eric is on-call and currently at the hospital so it’s just me and girls passing away the hours. It must be Saturday as Nora was supposed to have dance via Zoom this morning, but she refused and I didn’t force the issue. I don’t want her to end up hating dance. Perhaps we try again next year when she can physically be in the studio again.

Sleep is still a huge issue in this house… And the more I think about it, the more I think maybe now wasn’t the best time to sleep train the girls into staying in their own beds all night… at a time when their schedules and routines are very messed up. But what does that mean? Going back to crawling into bed with them? I was getting more sleep that way… even if we were instilling bad habits. I don’t know… I’ve had an AWFUL headache for two days now. And I never get headaches. I blame lack of sleep. And stress too I suppose.

Something else occurred to me this morning regarding the girls sleep. They hate their bedrooms, probably one of the reasons they hate sleeping alone in their rooms. Since they were little I’ve always made sure their rooms were just for naps and sleeping. We’ve never had any toys in their rooms, other than books we read at bedtime. Is it possible I’ve turned them against their rooms? Should I try to incorporate daily play a bit into their rooms, so they are more comfortable with the space? They basically are never in their rooms except at bedtime… and their rooms are on a separate level from the master, so a bit of a walk to Eric and I in the middle of the night. Maybe they just feel too isolated. Another reason I want to move, to establish comfortable, homey spaces in a permanent setting…

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.

Ralph Waldo Emerson