Fall

It’s officially fall. I think… Feels like fall here anyway, only 61F today. So certainly not cold, but definitely sweater weather!

I don’t have a lot of updates on Nadia’s health. Yesterday was her four-year well-child exam. And they confirmed my fear. She is losing weight, about 10% of her total body weight although wants to eat all the time. Even wakes in the middle of the night to eat. They ordered some blood tests, but I still need to take her for the blood draw. She got 2 vaccinations yesterday, plus the flu shot, so I felt like that was enough for one day… Otherwise her health is the same. She is still having lots and lots of meltdowns, lots of sensory processing issues, some OCD tendencies, still says she feels “wet” whenever she goes to the bathroom. She used to wipe and wipe and wipe, now she refuses to wipe at all, says that makes her feel like she has to go potty. Eric talked to his partners and they decided to try Ditropan. Per WebMD, Oxybutynin is used to treat certain bladder and urinary conditions (e.g., overactive bladder). It relaxes the muscles in the bladder to help decrease problems of urgency and frequent urination. Oxybutynin belongs to a class of drugs known as antispasmodics. So far I have noticed she asks to go to the bathroom less, which in itself is helpful, as every trip to the bathroom leads to a meltdown.

Aside from the weight loss, Nadia often complains large areas of her body itch, although we see no evidence of a rash or other irritant. And if you Google those two symptoms, scary stuff comes up. So for now, I’ll wait for the blood test results. We are also still waiting on the pediatric psychiatric referral. Our insurance denied our pediatrician’s request for us to be seen in Iowa City, but approved for us to be seen in Des Moines at Blank Children’s Hospital. I’m not as familiar, as we are in Iowa City all the time, but it will have to do. We will also see a developmental pediatrician there to screen for more general issues… whatever those are… I’m guessing Autism and such, which I don’t even want to think about right now.

Nadia still isn’t sleeping well. Which means the entire family isn’t sleeping well. I can get her to sleep, by rocking her. It’s now her only way of falling asleep. She does not like her bed, does not want to sleep in any bed, and certainly doesn’t want any covers if I can get her into bed, which is usually me laying her in bed after she falls asleep rocking. Getting Nadia to sleep though isn’t the biggest issue. It’s keeping her sleeping. She wakes several times a night, and almost always exactly at 4am. What the heck is with 4am?? And no matter how I’ve tried, she won’t put herself back to sleep. Although neither will Nora, so perhaps it’s a me issue. At this point I don’t care how any of us sleep, just that we sleep!

In other news, Nora seems to be adjusting to kindergarten well. Every morning she says she doesn’t want to go, but walks in without crying and seems excited to tell me about her day at pickup. Nadia is not adjusting to preschool well, big surprise. This morning she cried so hard I thought she might be hyperventilating. She says she doesn’t like the teachers. But I know the teachers, they are awesome, Nora even thought so… Nadia just doesn’t like being away from me, but to the extreme. I’m anxious for her referral appointment so we can talk about Nadia’s anxiety. Wonder where she gets it…

Life is slowing getting back into a routine. I’m back in Grove (Women’s Bible Study) on Tuesday mornings and MOPs (Moms of Preschools) on Thursday mornings. Nadia has speech and occupational therapy on Wednesday mornings, and both the girls have ballet on Thursday nights, although so far Nadia hasn’t been brave enough to attend. We’ll see, I’ll try again with her this week. I now have plenty of time to clean and organize the house, but God knows I’m awful at procrastinating. The laundry is staring at me right now… I emailed an interior designer that one of Eric’s partners used for their new home. I’m a little scared. An interior decorator sounds so… expensive. But I honestly have no clue where to begin on purchasing furniture for this house. The help would certainly be appreciated, if even for only a few main rooms. Below are pictures of Nadia’s bedroom curtains and bedding, my attempts at picking a paint color. I think I decided on Intimate White, which is number 8 on the paint samples. Oh, and the house we just moved from is going on the market TODAY, so let’s pray it sells quickly!

We went to a pumpkin patch on Saturday. Thankfully Nadia agreed to wear underwear, since she is stuck on dresses right now. And no coats. What am I going to do when it gets colder??? We had fun, although Nora was sad she couldn’t go down the giant slide all day.

And here are a few other random pictures I found on my phone, several taken by Nora.

Ah, somehow it’s 1:30 already and I’ve accomplished very little today. I guess I better start planning dinner!

Limiting Carbs

I’ve really, really been trying to limit my carbohydrates lately. I’ve been reading so much about how awful sugar is for us, how more than half the US population is going to be diabetic soon… well, depending on which study you read. So I’ve been trying to keep my daily carbs under 30g, which is close to keto, but probably not close enough. Not that my goal is keto. In fact, I know I’m not eating enough fat for what keto would need. I am obviously doing a good mix of fat and protein though. So… we’ll see. So far I lost a few pounds. I so crave sweets though. I keep thinking about donuts and my sugar filled coffees I used to buy every morning…

Monday Monday

It’s another week, another Monday. Weekend went fast, Eric is back in Ft. Dodge today, he left last night. Thankfully the girls slept through the night. Lots of random thoughts in my head today as I sip a sugar-free almond milk latte before meeting with my therapist. I’m not actually sure she’s helping me in any way, but she is lovely to chat with weekly.

Still attempting the Keto diet, but honestly, not sure my body is actually in ketosis, as I cheat from time to time. Yesterday I think I had 28g of net carbs. Possibly low enough for ketosis, but again, not sure I’m always consistent enough for my body to stay in such a state. Regardless, I’m eating soooo much healthier than I was before. In the picture below you can see I’ve lost 7.2 pounds in the past 30 days on the diet. I don’t expect to keep losing this fast, as you may know with Keto, carbs hold a lot of water, so most of my loss is that. The gray line though is fat, so nice to see that is somewhat down. I haven’t worked out in a while, but hopefully going back today after my therapy meeting.

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I was putting Nora’s laundry away yesterday and it struck me… I was putting her underwear in the drawer which used to hold burp clothes. Time really does fly!

Speaking of, Nadia will be two in ten days! And I have NOTHING planned. Well, except a t-shirt I randomly picked up at Target that says, It’s My Birthday. Eric will be away on-call for her birthday and my mom’s club has a mom’s coffee meeting that morning. Should I skip that and keep Nadia home from school and hang out with her? I’d like to somehow make the day special, but how does one do that when it’s just you and the two year-old? Who doesn’t even know it’s her birthday… I mean, of course we will have a party with family on another day, as soon as I get to planning it!

The Craving Cure – Julia Ross

I think I’m getting fat. I’m 5’6″ or maybe shrinking to 5’5″, and about 150 lbs. I’d like to be 130 lbs. I basically never lost my baby weight from Nadia. Which is not the worst thing in the world, I mean, she is adorable and I love her dearly. She and Nora are worth every pound. But none the less, I know a healthier weight for me would be 10-20 lbs lighter.

I’ve tried counting calories with that myfitness app. But I ruin it every night after dinner, after the girls go to bed. I somehow find the tortilla chips and queso, or the monster cookie ice cream. Or even watermelon. A fruit I know, but probably still not healthy to eat an entire watermelon in an evening, as it’s a lot of sugar, even if ‘natural’ so called sugar.

I sort of tried Weight Watchers. For like a day. I realized everything I like to eat is as many points as I get in a day. For example, I can have my iced mocha, but that’s it, even if it’s, dare I say, only 400 calories.

Eric and I were at the library yesterday, and I randomly came across a book that looked interesting… The Craving Cure by Julia Ross. I’m only on page 75, but so far, it is quite something. Granted, she hasn’t really told me anything I didn’t already know, that everything I eat is horrible for me. The book is based on five different types of ‘cravings’ which prevent us from losing weight and eating healthy. For example, the book explains how white sugar is twice as addictive as cocaine.

No wonder my car drives itself to Starbucks every morning for my mocha, whether I like it or not!

You’ll find the Craving Type Questionnaire below, along with the Profile Graph for scoring. I’ve determined that I fall into 3 of the 5 craving types, Type 1 Depressed, Type 3 Comfort, and Type 5 Fatigued. For reference, the other two are Type 2 Crashed and Type 4 Stressed. I guess thank God I’m not all five, as apparently some people are!

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I’ll update you again when I get a bit further into the book and let you know if it’s worth your time. On this topic though, do any of you have recommendations for books on cutting down on unhealthy sugar and carbs, or just healthier eating in general?

Must Lose Baby Weight

You guys aren’t going to believe this… I just dropped Kona off for grooming! A bath, de-shedding something or other, nail grind, and her teeth brushed. Ha, that should be especially fun for them! It will be like a brand new Kona! And of course the grooming place is in Waterloo, a good 20 minutes from our house. We have a sitter today, not my usual favorite one, but the new summer girl, Cassidy. So I’m sitting at Starbucks wasting the three hours until Kona’s spa treatments are complete. I could be shopping, but ya know, Starbucks is cheaper… Only so much I can buy here.

Speaking of Starbucks, I’m trying to be more serious about losing some of this baby weight. Key word trying. I know, I’ve said this before. And I might have to say it again in a week, or two, or a month. Maybe if I put it all out there and have some if you hold me accountable. Here is my weight chart… AHHHHH. No judging. Notice the recent gain. No idea. Couldn’t possibly be all the Starbucks I consume. But… In my efforts to be better I’m having an unsweetened iced green tea. And for breakfast I had two eggs and a string cheese. Way better choice than the Dunkin Donuts on the counter I really wanted.FullSizeRender 21

I opened up my Weight Watchers app this morning… It seems to me I paid for an entire year of use just a few months ago. I hate it though, maybe it would be easier to just count calories… Thoughts? My breakfast was 7 points. Seems like a lot for not a lot of food. And being I’m out and about, what the heck am I going to have for lunch that doesn’t contain more ‘points’ than I’m allowed all day?

I guess I should add a paragraph or two in here about how I love my babies and love my post-baby body and blah blah blah. I do love my babies, but I also love all my pre-baby clothing. And I have every intention of looking good in them again. At some point. And no, I’m not judging those of you who have no plans to wear such clothing of your own again. To each their own. But this is my plan. Wish me luck!

Oh, and seeing another house this afternoon. I have no plans for liking it, and there aren’t even pictures of the inside online yet 🙁 People, I’m seriously to the point where I want to look again at houses out-of-town, closer to where we lived before…

Weekly Pregnancy Update – 16 Weeks

How far along: 16w0d

Baby’s size: 5.12 inches, 4.94 oz., about the size of a navel orange.

Total weight gain: Up 2.4 lbs. from egg retrieval as I lost 2.4 lbs. last week.  Um, that was half the weight I had gained so far…  Seems a little odd.  Although I’m excluding the 10 lbs. I gained over the year before this final egg retrieval from the fertility meds.  Is it possible I’m losing some of that weight?  I think I even look smaller this week in the picture below.  Oh, and notice no shower or makeup in the picture, as I’m home waiting for the plumber to replace the water heater 🙂

16 Weeks

Maternity clothes: Same as last week, still in a mixture of regular and maternity pants, but most of my shirts and sweaters still fit me.  I did order a few items each from Kohl’s, JCPenny, and Motherhood online last week though.  I expect them to arrive soon, and hopefully they fit.  And I guess I need to shop for something cute to wear on Christmas, but what will that be???

Stretch marks: Nothing to get too excited about, nothing new anyway!

Sleep: I’m sleeping much better, but I still find myself on my stomach most mornings.  I assume this will end when I find it too uncomfortable.

Symptoms/Feeling: Honestly, I’ve felt really great the past week, maybe due to sleeping better.  I stopped the Unisom and B6 Saturday night and so far so good.  I’m eating normal too, which is another surprise on the weight loss…  There have been a few times this week when I actually forgot I was pregnant I felt so good.  And then I panicked and wondered if baby was still alive and kicking…

Best moment of this week: Finalizing floor plans.  I’m feeling a little better about the building process now, although still nervous for what is to come, all the decisions of materials and such.  So far I don’t feel that stressed about it, but I assume that will change soon.

Miss anything: My waist.  Seriously, where did it go?  And it will be back, right?  I see other women at work with their nice flat tummies and I get a little jealous.

Movement: Not yet, but I’m hoping soon.  Hopefully feeling her move will make this all feel a little more real.

Food cravings: Haven’t noticed any this week.  I feel like I’m back to my normal eating patterns.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Not really, not even gagging when I brush my teeth anymore!

Have you started to show yet: Yep, although I really do swear I’m smaller this week than last.  Maybe things just shifted around in there!

Gender: Girl

Labor signs: Good God no!

Belly button in or out: In and it better stay that way!

Wedding rings on or off: On, and I will miss them if my fingers swell, as I tend to feel naked without my jewelry.

Happy or moody most of the time: I think happy, although as I’m sitting here typing this I’m wondering how much this plumber is going to ask for, what am I going to wear to Christmas, what I will take for food to each of the events…  Okay, maybe I am a little stressed with the holidays.

Looking forward to: Getting the office cleaned up and converted to baby’s room.  Not sure how soon that will happen though, as I’ll need Eric’s help and his time is sometimes limited.  We did make a lot of progress over the weekend on the lower level though, although now we have many bags of garbage and just as many large piles for recycling that need to be dealt with.

Purchases for baby:  A breast pump is in my possession!  Long story short, one medical supply store told me my insurance will only pay 20%, and thus I figured screw them and ordered one online and planned to just use remaining FSA dollars to cover it.  Then, a good friend told me to talk to a pharmacy close to where I live, and can you believe they confirmed my insurance will pay 100% for any pump of my choosing??  Yep, walked out with the Medela Freestyle, for free to me!  I felt like I was robbing them!  I hope I like it, it sounds similar in function to their very popular Pump in Style Advanced, but the Freestyle appears to be a bit more mobile and hands free.  Strangely, I’m kind of excited to try it out once baby gets here!

Eric’s reactions:  Eric is still being very sweet and cute with this pregnancy.  He says good-night to baby most evenings and offers to find the heartbeat with the doppler whenever I’m feeling nervous.  We talked a little more about names, but him and I still don’t really agree on one in particular, although we have a list of a few either one or both of us like.  I have a book of names, so planning to go through that little by little when I have the time.